I have a 17 year old daughter who is using drugs. She has severe behavorial problems. What can I do?

Question

I have tried everything. Right now she is being hopitalized at a mental health clinic until I can figure out what to do next. I am on the verge of giving up my rights.

She is using cocaine, marijuana, extasy and alcohol. This is the second time that I have gotton a Baker Act and had her admitted to this facility. Last Saturday she left home while my husband and I were shopping and did not return until 5pm on Sunday. We did not know where she was and could not contact her because she had her cell phone off. After talking with a private investigator, we found out that she had been staying with a drug dealer. She is spinning out of control and she lies about everything. She's a smart girl and very talented, but she is throwing it all away. She dropped out of school. She quit a job that was perfect for her. She tells me that she hates me and wants to live somewhere else. My son, who is 14, is scared of her and suffers for it. I don't want to give up, but I am so numb now.

Answer 1

Wow, I am sorry first off and wish you all good luck dealing with this issue. Kids are so rough to deal with sometimes. They leave us confused, hurt and not knowing what to do next. Do not give up...You are doing the right thing so far. Keep fighting for her. Someone has too. She may get it eventually and then again some do not ever get it. Stick with her and keep rtying to help her. She may not appreciate it now but someday she WILL look back and see how much everyone loved her. Try to start an intervention. Remember to get yourselves help too, talk to someone, anyone! Do not feel like anything falls on you. You are doing what you can. Keep that up! Until she is 18 you have to do whatever you can!! Good luck..hope the site below helps some.~~~


Nearly 75% of all Americans have experimented with or used alcohol and other drugs. Many people don’t realize that alcohol is actually a drug. There are two basic reasons why people misuse drugs. Some drugs work in such a way that a person’s body will actually get used to a drug and then depend on it. In some cases, when a person stops taking a drug, their body can have a lot of unpleasant symptoms. These symptoms may go away when the person uses the drug again. The other reason people misuse drugs has a lot to do with the effect of the drug on their mind and emotions.

For many people, certain drugs seem to make them feel better mentally or emotionally. In some cases, starting with one drug can lead to the use of other drugs. Some drugs require larger and larger amounts to produce the same effect. Some people take additional drugs to help them reduce the unpleasant effects of the drugs they are already misusing. Eventually a person may take too much of a drug to feel the same effect. This can cause permanent medical damage or even the loss of life. Some drugs can be dangerous to take and some can be dangerous to stop without proper evaluation and treatment.

Knowing why a person is using drugs is not as important as knowing what drugs the person is using, when they are taking drugs and how. Dealing with drug abuse can be difficult without information and support. Recognizing the symptoms of drug use can help you understand and seek help for yourself and others affected by drug abuse.

Problems And Behavior Checklist

Will go see doctors to help cope with the symptoms and side-effects of drug use
Unwilling to tell a doctor about drug use
Friends and family suspect a drug problem
Denies solid evidence of drug use
Sincerely believes they can stop if they wanted but refuses to stop even for a while
Minimizes the amount of drugs used
Admits to using a less dangerous drug to minimize a problem with a more serious drug
Refuses to acknowledge even the obvious consequences or symptoms of drug use in their life
Makes frequent excuses for strange, bizarre or irresponsible behavior
Blames others for their problems
Cannot stop using drugs for more than one month
Feels the urge to use drugs several times a week
Has difficulty controlling the amount of drugs they use
Won’t stop using drugs until they run out
Spends money on drugs which should be used to pay for basic necessities
Spends money on drugs which should be used to provide for their needs (or children)
Believes they are going to be harmed by people who want to help
Will use their children to control, manipulate, threaten or hurt others
Can’t manage money and will resort to lying to get more money
Borrows money from others that they cannot pay back for drugs
Will take money or steal belongings from family or friends for drugs
Will act abusive or threaten others who confront their drug use
Will act self-destructive or suicidal to get what they want
Justifies hurting others who resist being manipulated
Starts treatment but then doesn’t cooperate
Finds reasons or makes excuses to quit treatment
Has repeated problems with the law or other legal problems
Often late or absent from work or school without good reason
Can’t keep a job or won’t get a job
Is suspended from school
Easily upset or quick to react with anger
Frequent displays of temper or anger
Frequent emotional outbursts and mood swings
Reckless or irresponsible behavior
Repeated problems acting as a responsible parent
Unstable, extreme and intense relationships
Pushes people away but then desperately wants them back
Easily frustrated and upset
Their efforts to solve their problems don’t make sense and are not effective
Doesn’t seem to learn from mistakes or change their behavior
Seems unable to see things from another person’s point of view
Reacts to criticism with feelings of intense guilt, anger or depression
Responds with rage and anger when their point of view is not accepted
Requires an excessive amount of attention and support
Seems to ignore the impact of their behavior on others
Avoids healthy family or social activities
Does not follow through with promises
Symptoms Associated With Drug Abuse

Symptoms of Anxiety or Panic
Symptoms of Depression
Destructive thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Suicidal thoughts, feelings or behaviors
Violent thoughts, feelings and behavior
Strange, bizarre or psychotic thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Information And Steps You Can Take

Seek advice or consultation from a qualified mental health or drug and alcohol treatment professional regarding an evaluation and intervention for suspected drug use.

Work with a mental health or drug and alcohol treatment professional to establish a crisis intervention plan.

Seek medical advice or consultation if you suspect health problems or if there has not been a recent medical evaluation.

Seek advice and consultation for any mental and emotional problems as well as difficulties that are not covered in the treatment of drug abuse.

Encourage family members and close friends to consult with a treatment professional about the potential involvement in a support group that can provide information, focus on coping, deal with problems and support treatment.

Develop a plan that will minimize and limit arguments and unproductive conflict.

Do not yell, scream or talk to people in an abusive or threatening manner.

Avoid confrontations that are not part of a crisis intervention plan and are not supported by family or close friends.

If there are issues involving abuse or neglect of children, seek advice or further investigation from a crisis intervention specialist or a state human service agency. (Keep records of all relevant contact, conversations, behaviors and especially threats, self-harming or violent behaviors made including dates, times and witnesses.)

Answer 2

My cousin was the same exact way. She was also hospitalized, but it was only after she tried to commit suicide so I think you did the right thing to get her help. Some teenagers go through this weird phase and hopefully she'll grow out of it but she should remind in the clinic until your sure of what to do. Right now she needs your support and any support other family members can give her. Make sure to visit her and try to comfort her. She's probably as scared as you are.

You could talk to a councilor on what you should do with her after she's home from the clinic. Also try to get into group therapy with her. It's not going to be easy and it's going to take work, but have hope. My prayers are with you.

Answer 3

Please don't give up your rights as she is now in the good place for treatment and this is the time that she will need lots of your supports and love to get thru this hard time and be a better person. She is still young and has a long way to go in life. She will surely appreciate you more when she grows older and realizes that you have always been there for her no matter what happens .... So, be very patient. Wishing you both the best of everything.

Answer 4

It sounds like she is in the right place. Insist upon good medical treatment and STAY with your daughter. To gives up your rights is an indication that you no longer care. This would be a terrible blow to her. Drugs can definetly mess up your life but people get better ALL the time. Good luck to you both.

Answer 5

WOW. I am so sorry this is going on. Try to speak her out of it, that could now not paintings. But inform her to do what she desires, and do not allow her keep on your apartment, It'll be enormously difficult however ultimately she'll detect what a mistake she made. You would additionally shock her with a therapist to support her, given that it kind of feels as regardless that she had a tough time developing up. I certainly desire I helped, xoxo

Answer 6

This is truly a complex problem. Have you considered seeing a therapist to discuss some options? I would hesitate to give up your rights, especially without talking to someone about it......

I might recommend a camping trip. No cell phone, no TV, no drugs, no alcohol... in a secluded place (maybe a backpacking trip) to bond more.

Answer 7

You do can try to find some church that able to help her and see what's come out...As in lot of country, the government will have to accept, anti-drug center with religion background always prove to be more helpful and their success rate is always higher.

Because sometime this kind of drug or behavior problem do related to lot of hidden reason in term of mentally, spiritually or even family issue...hope your daughter will be ok soon.

Answer 8

Keep her in the clinic for as long as it takes. She will maybe be one of the lucky ones who gets it. God bless you for this trying time you are going through. She might just wake up one day and be over it. At 18, she will be on her own so hopefully she will find her way by then. good luck.

Answer 9

Check with the counselors at the hospital she's at and find out about support groups for friends and family of addicts. You'll learn that alcoholism and drug addiction are a family disease. Her using is not your fault, but you do not have to enable her anymore, either.

Answer 10

I don't think that you should never give up on your child. If one treatment doesn't work continue forward until you find the one that does! There are hundreds out there. Please don't allow your child to become a statistic and fall by the wayside, she has the rest of her life to do better, but if you give up now she'll surely waste away. Good luck!

Answer 11

Get her into counseling and fast I personaly have daughter myself who got into the '"drug scene herself, She even lost two babies over crack cocaine! and still didn't quit!Her dad and I are divorced but still comunicate! So get her into counceling and fast ,she sounds like my Lea Ann
I sure wish I had taken the time out for her. Her dad and I both agree Our worst fear is to answer the door to a sheriff wanting us to come identify her corpse!