I`ve known this bloke for 3 years. He insists he is divorced. He has a 6 year old who lives with his ex and he visits them every other weekend. He refuses to tell his ex about me, saying that she will make it difficult for him to see his child if he tells her he is seeing someone else. How do I know that he is being genuine when he insists that there is nothing whatsoever between him and his ex wife when he refuses to tell her anything about me?
2006-06-13 05:21:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are two scenarios. One she could be an incredibly jealous harpy who may be his ex but doesn't want him to date anyone else and is using their child as bait.
Two, you know him for 3 YEARS and hasn't been up front about your relationship to his ex. At this point he should have introduced you to his ex and his child. If he's not involving you in his life, what else is he hiding from you?
Tread very carefully. If anything I wouldn't be so friendly with him. He may have a B****as an ex who you don't want in your life, but if you can't trust him, do you really want him in your life?
2006-06-13 05:32:32 · answer #1 · answered by Susan C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One other point to add to the argument is that in any custody battle, or even in a situation where there is visitation rights given, sometimes courts will give the custody to the party who is not involved with another person. If you are having any sort of relationship around the children, a very angry ex could make visitation rights get more limited. I don't know if this guy is serious or not. Sometimes ex's can go over the top with anger/jealousy about the other person being in a relationship. He also may be trying to keep his dealings with his ex on a level that only deals with his kids and not anything else involved in his life. It really is none of her business anyways. I think I would rather have a partner who didn't have as much to do with anyone else of the opposite sex, especially an ex! It has happened quite often that guys who have great relationships with their ex, end up back with them. I, personally, think he is being genuine from what you have said. I am often a cynic and will be the first to tell someone to run long and hard away from the person. Check my history of answers!!! LOL I just don't get that feeling from what you have said. If you want proof that he is divorced, ask for the divorce papers to see them or go down to public records and check on it yourself. Good luck either way!
2006-06-13 05:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by originaltigger61 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run as quickly as you can, far far away from this jerk! If that chapter was truly closed between the two of them you'd be going with him on weekends to pick up the kids, and you two will be planning family things to do on weekends. You continue to allow him to be deceptive it'll definitely become worst! Don't you deserve someone that doesn't have to keep you in the closet! Look around at all the happy couples, having a great time with their families, why should that not be you? It's he and his ex-wife's reality!
2006-06-13 05:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by jusb4dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For that reason he is being genuine-- his ex is probably still being difficult about everything and nothing he does will ever change the way she feels
Most ex wives especially when they hav children can and will make life difficult
Just respect his wishes and believe him when he says he has to keep quiet for the sake of seeing his child
2006-06-13 05:25:35 · answer #4 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the most restless feeling not being validated,appreciated ,isn't it?Makes you feel childish,paranoid,and its eating you inside however you try to act cool or mature. Real thing is,we all have the right to be free to declare our love and relationships to others.
Legally she may not be able to stop him seeing the child,and he has a right to see other people of course,so it is up to him to upset his ex,rather than upsetting you.
Or you can make the decision..
2006-06-13 05:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Julie K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are spineless and would go out of their way to avoid confrontation. But if he was serious about you he would not hide you away and would face the flack he may or may not get because you are important to him and you are worth it. Read into that what you like.
2006-06-13 06:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people try to hide a realtionship from their ex, it ALWAYS throws up a red flag to me. I have nothing to hide, and will tell the world when I have a love in my life! Why can't he? He has something to hide!!!!!
2006-06-13 05:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't trust him!
i think he could be still involved with the ex. i mean seriously, c'mon........even if she wanted to, she cannot stop him from seeing his son! it's a line he's feeding you because he has the best of both worlds!
wake up!!!!!
2006-06-13 05:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounda a bit strange to me.sounds as if he wants to please his ex more than you.why does he go round to see his ex and kid,cant he take his kid out by himself.also,what would happen if you were to fall pregnant
2006-06-13 07:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by Paul S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll never know...
Unless he asks you to marry him and invites her and his kids to the wedding, you'll never know for sure. Give it up and either trust him or leave.
2006-06-13 05:24:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋