How can I get my 2 year old to stop pushing other kids at the park?

Question

He isn't around other kids alot cause he is in my aunts care when I'm at work. For no reason, he just runs up to girls smaller than him and pushes them down.

Answer 1

In my experience, parents often make the mistake of trying to explain to children this young WHY what they're doing in wrong and evoke empathy for the "victims" of the pushing. However, a 2 year old is an egocentric creature, and is probably incapable of even considering the other childrens' points of views to the degree necessary to use the feelings to govern his actions. He is not going to sit and listen to, much less comprehend, a lecture on fairness and hurt feelings.

I think the best course of action would be to simply treat the pushing like any other "bad behavior". Saying "No, we don't push" or something similar conveys the message that pushing is a no-no. You (or your aunt) may decide to call park-time quits when he pushes, but CONNECT the loss of play-time with the pushing. Though he may not completely understand it, I would also say something like "She doesn't like it when you push her." It may not get through now, but it sets up a nice base for empathetic feelings later.

Also, praise good peer interactions (hugging, sharing) like CRAZY! He's probably seeing the pushing action on TV or from bigger kids, and thinks it's an acceptable way to "greet" or "play" with friends. Ask your aunt to monitor any cartoons or shows he might be picking these actions up from. A simple comment towards a cartoon character exhibiting the displays of aggression ("What a BAD wolf! He pushed that girl! That's mean!") may further express your displeasure toward the aggressive actions.

Let's see... haha. What else? OH, make sure you (or your aunt) are not doing a lot of play-wrestling with your son. I know it can be a fun game, but sometimes kids translate it into a game they can play with other (unsuspecting!) kids on the playground.

Answer 2

Use the 'Wicked Witch' method.

He pushes a child, in 2.5 seconds you sweep into place, grab his hands, hold them in front of you and in a VERY stern voice let him know that it is NOT ok. It is NOT acceptable behavior and that if he does it again he is losing park privilages. (I.E.- no playing on the swings or seesaw or something. Start with his favorite).

This usually takes them by a shock and by the time it registers you are 'Glenda the Good Witch' again. Pleasant.

Start playing with him at this time. Kids typically act out b/c they want attention.

If he does it again- stick to what you said. Swoop back in as the 'Wicked Witch' and let him know that since he cannot behave- he has now lost '_____' (enter in swings or whatever else here) privilages for the rest of the time you are at the park. You take away enough privilages- he'll get the message. It's no fun to sit and watch the other kids play on equipment you cannot play on.

And ALWAYS make him apologize to the child he pushed. If the child's mother is there, it is respectable to make him apologize to her to. You walk over with him (hand in hand) and make him apologize, and not just 'I'm sorry' but 'I'm sorry for ______'. It sets a good foundation for later in life. (and sometimes the embaressment of admitting you did wrong will help keep him from wanting to do it again). (Plus everyone respects a mom who makes her child own up).

Good luck!!

Answer 3

Walk over to him, firmly say "NO" and remove him from the play area for a couple of minutes of time out. Do that every time he pushes somebody or does something else he shouldn't. If he keeps doing it, leave the park for the day and tell him you'll go back on another day when he won't push kids around. He'll get it eventually and stop the behaviour, as long as you are consistent.

Answer 4

Congratulations you made it the the terrible twos... Have a chat on the way to the park! Now is the time to put the fear in him especially if your a single mother! Don't get me wrong don't shake him or physical hurt him.. Snatch him up and let him know. Or try to play one on one with him. Check and find out if someone is pushing him down at Auntie house? He is getting the action from somewhere

Answer 5

He may be experimenting with his "power" or maybe he wants to play with other kids but isn't sure how to engage them.

He's gotta know, however, that this behavior is not okay. (It's not going to win him any friends and builds up resentment among the parents you are meeting.)

When he pushes other children, you need to intervene. You need to ask the "victim" if they're okay. Apologize to the parent, and then give your son a brief time-out. Take him aside and tell him simply, "Pushing hurts. It's not how to play. You need to use your words if you want to play. Say, 'Want to play?'"

Then bring him back and stay close to him. You may need to help him make overtures to other kids for a while or facilitate the play--like encourage him and a little playmate to race: "Who can get to the tree first?"

You'll probably have to supervise his playing with other kids until he gets the hang of it. Eventually he will.

Answer 6

Once you have an occurance immediately remove your child from the situation for 5 minute and do not allow him/her to interact with their peers. Eventually he/she will get the message and stop. Have a short talk before sternly (not scouldingly) and be consistent. It will take about 3-4 times max and this should cease. Consistancy is the key.

Answer 7

Tell him before you go into the park that if he pushes anyone that you will take him home. When he does, do not nag or give multiple warnings, just tell him that because he pushed someone that he has to leave. He will get it pretty quick.

Answer 8

My kids are always expected to apologise if they push. They hate it - it tends to prevent them from doing it again. If they do it again, they go in the corner for a minute or so. i tell them that if they cant behave among other kids, they must sit alone. it's a really scary punishment so i avoid using it as much as possible and save it for the occasion when it is needed. if we are in the park, i tell the child that he/she will go home unless i can see that he/she can play nicely....

If he does it very often, look out for other signs of behavioral problems, which could be a telltale sign of neurological problems, learning disabilites, speach impediments, or (sad to say) abuse. good luck!

Answer 9

Have a talk with him before going to the park. Tell him you will take him home & remind him after you get there, if he does it then take him home right then. Don't yell or threaten him he's 2 & doesn't understand anger.

Answer 10

my son did this for a bit. he pushed and said sorry and then if he did it again...we left the park. is he talking? my son pushed other kids because he couldn't say what he needed to say.