But, after dating for a few months they begin to change and you become less important. In the beginning he missed you if you didn't see eachother for a day and told you he missed you. I don't doubt my b/friend loves me we're both 25 and I don't think we'd be in the relationship if we didn't want to be together. Yet, he has changed and time with me has become less important. Why do guys do this?
2006-06-13 04:51:45 · 16 answers · asked by May 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think most relationships are that way for both sexes. I think it's healthy. In the beginning everything is new and wonderful and you want to discover new things about each other and do things together. But after a while, one person feels they're neglecting their friends or have a job that suddenly needs a lot of attention, or a need to come up for air and do their own thing. Unfortunately, this need for air isn't always in-sync w/ your partner. One will pull away first and the other person feels hurt because the attention has shifted to something else.
Again, this is healthy. When one partner needs to come up for air, it's a good time to get back to your life. Do your own thing, get together w/ your friends, focus on work, etc.... That way you're not hounding him for more time and you don't sound like a nag or a clingy girlfriend. This also allows you to show him you're independent and you don't need him to make you happy. Plus, when you're busy doing your own thing he may start to miss you and you'll have more stuff to talk about other than the daily grind of life.
It is hard to detach yourself from your boyfriend, but it allows the relationship to grow. Have faith and eventually his need for separation will blow over.
2006-06-13 05:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Susan C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of factors that come into play, here:
1) Initial insecurities. Even after you've agreed to become a guy's girlfriend, there's still those opening moments of instability where the two of you are feeling each other out, where you could be calling one another boyfriend and girlfriend, yet you don't yet know one another well enough to understand your respective routines. Once he can understand the way your relationship is working, he can focus less upon worrying over potential instability and more upon enjoying what he's sought after and has, or, if you were the one pursuing him, what has been dropped in his lap.
2) Infatuation. Nothing beats early experiences with someone that you're just getting romantically involved with, experiencing all of those firsts, and the seconds, and the thirds, where the novelty gradually wears away and all that's left is the real core value of the experience.
Over time, he perceives you as becoming a stable part of his life; this isn't to say that you can't encourage him to value you more, and this isn't to say that he won't, but many and maybe most guys lose sight that what really attracts women to them is what they're truly capable of: what they tend to show when they're trying to woo a woman, instead of what they get by with from the day-to-day.
2006-06-13 12:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by haight_99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy was nice at first and he hasnt changed a bit in all of these years!
So, I know from experience that good guys are out there!!
Every girl deserves a guy that loves her and has no problem showing her and the world that she is special and all his!!
It's just a matter of searching through all of the garbage to get to that gem!
But as your together for longer periods of time, you do have to set some time aside to just be together. Sometimes we all take our turn feeling a little too busy to be there when the other person wants us to be!
Just tell him that you want to have a bit more quality time with him. Maybe he doesnt know that he is making you feel less important.
Sometimes we get wrapped up in what we are doing and just need a little reminder that there are other things going on.
2006-06-13 11:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Pixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U want the truth. U might have become a bore. Do u do the same things in your relationship u did months ago. U have to meet the challenge daily. It has to be an adventure or something different. First did u do your homework. Did u find out what his past relationships were like. If u are going down the same path its something he is use to and sure enough u are going to be toss out. Its reality so face it . The questions is what are u willing to do to keep the relationship alive. Its up to u once u put forth effort he will put forth effort because he will see it and try just like u. Sounds crazy but it is so true.
2006-06-13 12:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by Big R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's actually the same for male and females. Every relationships starts out to be what is called perfect but then after a while the true person reveils in your partner. At that point you discover this is the real person who your partner is. Your partner is actually going through the same thing. At this point into the relationship this is where one determines to stick with it or leave to settle on a new relationship.
Relationships take a lot of work so the best you both can do is to be very open and true to each other.
2006-06-13 11:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some guys, who really want someone, will temporarily be extra nice (a real gentleman) in order to hook the fish. All animals do it when mating. It's only natural. Dogs, Birds, Rabbits, they all do things to impress the mate. Then when they get what they want, they go about being themselves. What's wrong with being natural? Women should understand that, all men want is sex. We don't want conversation. We don't want compassion. We want sex. When we get it, we go get whatever else we want.
There are a few men out there like myself, who understand that women have needs too. Some women need sex, others have not been shown the way of the orgasm. Most women need to be heard, understood, and shown compassion towards. They want to be appreciated. Me? That's the way to the plethera of kitty cat. Make them feel like they are on top of the world. In return, they will take you to the moon!
2006-06-13 11:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by almondjoy_1000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is usually because what guys and girls want in a relationship is different. At first he gives you what you want and then once he is getting what he wants then he doesn't make the effort any more to give you what you want. Usually the girl will then over compensate by trying to please the boy more to try and get him to be the way he was before but instead the boy thinks things are just getting better from his point of view.
2006-06-13 12:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you and a guy first meet, they are excited and chasing you. Once they catch you, they still try to woo you to keep you. Once the relationship develops, they become more comfortable around you and are able to act more like who they really are and become slack. Read any Cosmo, they explain it better!
2006-06-13 11:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by Wookie on Water 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have to compete its not there fault its there hormones. Once they have got you there is no more challenge. My advice stay busy with your life outside of the relationship.Make him miss and think about you.
2006-06-13 11:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by arreis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing personal, but as a guy....you girls are the SAME way.... I think it's a mutual thing. I also think it's because you get to know each other and get comfortable and things just go that way.....
2006-06-13 11:56:39 · answer #10 · answered by ben d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋