He had recently got divorced and I met him about a month ago. I went to his place at the weekend and he says he want to meet up with me when he is out and maybe see me once a week. How am I meant to act?I want to be with him, do I text him every day or wait for him.he is afraid of rejection and has no self confidence, but i don't want him to think i am pushing him into a serious relationship!!
2006-06-13 04:45:47 · 21 answers · asked by emma s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This guy has just come out of a bad relationship, one in which he once loved or may still have love for the person involved. It takes time to get over, to heal from a relationship which ended with a permenant breakup. This man needs time to heal, to find peace about the ending of the relationship. He is lonely now, and is seeking some small form of companionship. He has been honest with you which is a rare occurance these days. Be grateful he was honest and up front about what his intentions are. He is looking for a physical connection not an emotional connection. Perhaps in time he will be ready again for a more committed relationship. However, he is not ready for this now.
As he has been upfront with what he needs right now, you need to evaluate what YOU want now. It sounds like you are looking for a committed long term relationship and perhaps marriage. This guy is not the guy who can provide this for you. Even if you wait until he is ready there is no garantee he will end up picking you for his next serious relationship. In fact, due to any womans settling for what he has to offer now would make it unlikely he would pick her for a long term relationship. He will view women who settle for this while knowing they really want more as somebody who is weak and has a poor sense of self esteem. Men tend to find women with strong self esteem more attractive than those who do not posses these traits. I am not saying you are one of these, I am saying to be carefull of what you allow yourself to do.
It is important for you to not settle. You know what you want and you are valuable and important and deserve to have a wonderful relationship with a man who is capable of giving back what you provide. There are many men out there who are looking for that special someone right now.
Here is a secret all women should know: Men will not settle down untill they feel a strong urge to do so. They can go years without this urge. While they do not have the urge they will develope short term relationships with any woman who will allow such to occure. When the are ready, they get a strong urge and they will take the first available woman who meets their profile of a potential mate. Often these profiles are vauge and undeveloped so it is not difficult for many women to meet this level of expectation. The trick is to find those who are ready to settle down. You can do so by going to online dating sites. You can easily tell which are looking for a long term companion and those who are looking for short term fun partners. You just have to get online and begin going through profiles, reading them and talking with the men a short while. It is easy to pick out those who are serious. They usually put down "romance" as their objective and not "dating" and "romance/dating". In their profiles they write about wanting to find that special somebody. Those who are not serious say things like, want to have a fun partner or looking for somebody to do activities with. The words are different but this is basically the guidlines to look for. If a man wants to get your contact information to soon, this is also a sign he is just looking for a "fun" partner and not a committed relationship. Those who are serious will go much slower, give the woman room for feeling safe, allow her to set the pace, and will "court" you through the program before going on to more personal communication types like e-mail and your IM.
I meet my guy online and we have been together for a year now. We are engaged and will marry within the next year. Oh, don't be afraid to look outside your state. I moved from Northern CA to AZ in order to be with the man I love. Online dating is by far safer than looking in bars, clubs, or other methods as you really have a chance to stay very safe while getting to know each other. I also reccomend being open and honest, just be yourself. Men find that attractive in women. Just do not spill all your secrets the first month. LOL
Good luck in finding what you are looking for. Don't short change yourself by settling with men who are not ready to settle down. There are many men who are ready, able and willing right now, you just have to get out there, put yourself out there, take a small risk and you will find that special person. Much happiness always.
2006-06-13 05:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by Serenity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-29 13:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends. Do you want a serious relationship? B/C if you are seeking to have a relationship, then you don't want to get involved with him. It's true about women, when we get close to guys sometimes, we see things in them that we may desire to have in a mate, then our feelings start coming in and the next thing you know, you're in love and he isn't. But the main thing is, don't sit around and wait on him, don't stop your life. You don't want to be with a person that just broke up with someone else, sounds like REBOUND to me and that's not good. Just be careful you don't get your heart broken. Don't sleep with him either!
2006-06-13 04:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by oneihave 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy he's honest with you, he just wants a booty call and that's it.
All the evidence is there, though you insist on entering a relationship that is headed for disaster.
Why do you need to text him everyday if he's asking you to respect his space, you seem needy and that is a turn-off for guys.
Play hard to get and you'll she you catch more bee with honey.
2006-06-13 04:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience......only go there if you are truly listening to him...." NOTHING SERIOUS".... I was in the same situation and thought he was fun to be with....7 months later and a broken heart we are still "NOTHING SERIOUS"...yes he is a lot of fun and I know he likes me but you do not want to be the transition girl from his divorce. Divorce take s a toll on you and I wouldn't date a guy unless its been at least a year.
2006-06-13 04:50:41 · answer #5 · answered by CHELLE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush anything. Come on, he just came out of a divorce, lord knows he must be having a rough time dealing with that. Give him time, he'll come around. Be a friend for him first though, seems like he could use one.
2006-06-13 04:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that he has recently got divorce & with that meaning he may want some single time for a while. Your only choices are to wait till he's ready or move on. He needs time to himself and since he now has that he is going use it.
2006-06-13 04:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cosmopolitans Infamous Answer is:: He probably does. But not with you. So right now to him, your just a booty call most likely.
Aside from Cosmo, maybe with the whole divorce thing he dosent want anything serious.
2006-06-13 04:50:09 · answer #8 · answered by Analina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dont' give anything until you know where things are going. You can hang out and stuff, be friends, dinner, movies, Stuff like that, but if you want a relationship, make it clear to him what you want. I would avoid sex or anything like that until things between you both are clear as far as relationship.
2006-06-13 04:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by bobmg68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 2 people don't want the same things then it's just not gonna work out. Just find someone out there who's looking for the same thing you're looking for...You have to be on the same page with someone in order for anything to work out. If you continue to waste time on him, you're gonna become frustrated because you're gonna always want more...Don't deprive yourself...
2006-06-13 04:56:25 · answer #10 · answered by mesofemme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has made his feelings be known so if you are looking for something serious he's not the guy for you.
2006-06-13 04:51:28 · answer #11 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋