I just find out thuis past weekend that I'm pregnant for the 3rd time, it was not expected but we love the good news.The problemis that I have a 5 yr girl & an 18th month boy , but the past two weeks I notice on my two kids behaving un-mormal. My boy after I pick him up from daycare he just want for me to be with him he doesn't even pay attention to my hubby & so as my daughter she is more sensitive I can't even raise my voice to her cuz she will cry & she was not like that & now that she knows that I'm pregnant she become more attached to me she even wants to sleep w/ me when she has almost 3 yrs sleeping in her room. Is this just a phase they are going thru?? What can I do so they won't feel bad or jealous?? or worst un-loved.. Any advices will be apreciated.
2006-06-13 04:45:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
They experience that they are losing - and in addition they are afraid of losing your attention and love. It will help if you include them in the planning for the new baby's arrival; color for name, room, clothes, toys and so on for the baby.
Show them pictures/books of the baby's life now, and talk to them about how the baby will need everyone's attention when it¨s borned. How weak it is and how dependent it is to get help.
2006-06-13 04:48:17 · answer #1 · answered by Tones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are just afraid of loosing the attention they get from you. The 5 year old is def. feeling it hard because she has gone through it before. She knows what happens when a baby is entered into the home, so she knows... and now that there are 3, it's going to be even harder. She is old enough, for you to sit down and talk to her about it. Talk to the boy too... just let them know that you love them and that you need their help being a big brother and a big sister to the new baby. Tell them that the baby is going to need them to look up to and that everything will be alright. They should understand eventually. They will eventually get over it and everything, just give it time. There is still a lot of time before the baby comes.
2006-06-13 11:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by SwtPrincess1128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is completely normal. Kids want to know that their place in your life will always be the same, no matter how old they are. Make them a part of what's happening. Let them help choose the clothes, toys and furniture that you buy for the new baby. When you choose names, let them be in on it. Once they see that they are a part of this new excitement, they'll look forward to the baby coming. Let them feel the baby move. While they might still go back to baby ways (sucking their thumb, wetting the bed, crying at night, throwing tantrums, etc.), just let them know that you have enough love to give to all your children...with much to spare. Just remember that children have to learn how to share. It's not something that comes overnight. They are naturally jealous of anything, and are mostly selfish when not getting what they want. In time, when they see that jealousy doesn't get them what they want, they'll learn gentler ways, especially when you show them that this world is much bigger than they are. Just be patient with them. <*)))><
2006-06-13 11:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah...unfortunately it's normal. The kids think (especally the older one) that with this new addition that you are not going to have time for them anymore. The best thing to do is two things 1) Take time with each of them each week. Do some "Mommy and Me" things that are just special to them. This way they will know that you always have a special time for them. 2) Get them involved with getting ready for the baby. Have them each pick out a special toy from just them to the new baby. Help them get exicted about being a big brother and sister to the new baby. The more that you involve them in the process, the less likely they are going to be to act out because they feel neglected.
2006-06-13 11:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are probably jealous of the new baby, sit them down and tell them that they are going to be an even bigger part of the family now, they will be big bro/sis and they can help you with the new baby. Also let them know that you won't love them any less, it may take a little while for them to get used to but they will come around. Good luck!
2006-06-13 11:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by pdanielleh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have five kids!!!!!ages 5 -15. And YES yours are perfectly normal. of coure they are going to be jealous. of each other, the attention you and your husband pay to each other and to them. As far as your daughter goes...start getting her involved with your new baby coming now. Take her to your OB visits, ultrasounds, etc. Let her help get things ready for the new baby. YOur 18 mo. old too. don't forget he'll be two when your new baby comes, and he won't be the baby anymore! The more they are involved they are the more reasured they will be that they are still loved and always important! As far as her sleeping with you goes. Let her. Make some kind of deal with her. one night in your bed ix in hers, or omething like that. She will eventually just want to go back to her own bed. Remember she's five and thinks she's ALL GROWN -UP now. Help her think of herself as the wiser, independent big sister. Let her know you will need/want her help becaue off how grown up she is now. GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-13 12:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry... That happens to almost every child in this situation. Children think that a new member in the family will draw all the attention of the parents. It is not un-normal for your children to feel un-loved. Time will heal this condition. Try to make your "old" kids feel the warmth of the family, to make them feel loved. And when your new baby comes, try to put your older children next to the newborn, to make them get used to it and to love it.
Good luck and don't worry!
2006-06-13 11:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by gt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly natural for a child to be nervous and/or jealous of a new baby. They are going to take time you could be spending with them. It is just a phase.
My son was 9 years old when I had my second child.
It took him a week to even want to come near him.
He was so used to being an only child.
It wasn't very long before he was totally involved with his little brother though:-)
2006-06-13 11:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by rvogelpohl2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal some ppl even get jealous when it's not their sibling you need to be firm but fair and show them you them them ALL (all 3 that is) treat them the same and have ur hubby help out to. Hope I helped! Good Luck!
2006-06-13 11:51:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lauriella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My middle child was jealous of the 3rd child. My oldest loved being a big brother.Just include the children in preparing for the baby.
2006-06-13 11:59:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋