how do I get my 4yo to stop going potty in her pants?

Question

she is the youngest of five and the only girl . I've been working with her for two years now, i've tried; bribbing, begging, time outs, reminding her every 30 min., going with her, letting her go on her own, letting her go with me. Doctors say she is fine.

Answer 1

Let it go for awhile. She knows that you really want her to use the bathroom and is resisting because it is something in her life that she can control.

Stop the bribing, begging, timeouts, reminders, and DON"T use reward like stickers. Timeouts are a form of punishment, not a discipline and stickers will only come to be expected even after she's trained.

Have her pick out some "big girl" underwear. Put her in clothing that she can easily get on and off by herself. When you see her doing the "potty dance" say to her "It looks like you need to use the bathroom." Give it no more attention than that. When she goes potty in her pants, hold her completely responsible. Say to her "It looks like you need to change." She can take off the wet clothing, wash it, put it in the laundry, wash herself, clean up any mess, and put on some dry clothing. It will take a few tries, but if you let her do it on her own she will soon learn that it is much easier to use the bathroom. Good luck!

Answer 2

She seems likes she's tring to maintain some sort of control. She's the only girl. The boys are different from her and she doesn't want to give up that comfort. Maybe showing her how other 4 year olds go on thier own would help.
Does she go to preschool or have any other interaction with children. Most of the time, kids will do as thier peers do. She'll probably decide to go on her own when she sees that the "other" kids do. She won't want to feel left out.

Answer 3

Many parents, by the time their child is 4, can kinda predict what time their child needs to go, aka after they eat, after bath, when they first wake up etc. If you don't think you would be able to predict, you can start keeping a log of everytime your child potties. Chances are, they are about the same time every day.f you can sit your child on the toliet at those times, it would probably make your child feel more at ease that they aren't being a disappointment. Always make sure you praise your child each time he goes in the potty. Also, consistency is key. Make sure you set boundaries so that the child understands, yes, I am supposed to do this, and no, I'm not supposed to do that, so that there is NO confusion as to what is expected behavior. If your child oversteps his boundaries, its important to set up consequences, and make those consequences easy and known. And again, BE CONSISTANT - if your child potties in his/her pants, be sure to make it known that what he/she did is NOT what you expect out of them, and therefore you are going to enforce whatever consequence you pick. And do it everytime they potty in their pants. It's tiresome and alot of work, but luckily, if you are consistant and fair to the child's need, you shouldn't have anymore troubles. Good luck!

Answer 4

Instead of bribbing and begging, reward her for when she does go to the bathroom in the toliet.
Don't make it seem like going to the bathroom is a chore, but rather something that needs to be done normally, just like eating, drinking, and going to sleep.
Reinforce the positive behaviours, and gently chastise her for inappropriate ones.

Answer 5

I had a daughter that refused to potty train, my doc. suggested to buy rubber pants, while at home let her wear them and every time she goes potty she will feel the wettness and smell it, she will want to get it off of her....thats when you tell her the only way we can do this is go to the potty room. eventually, she will get it.

the worse thing you can do is brib, and begging. good luck

Answer 6

have you tried those pull ups that have the pictures on them that disappear when they go potty? Have you tried telling her how proud you are of her every time she uses the potty? That works with most children because children love to please there parents. So if you make her feel like a "big girl" every time she does it, maybe she will begin to take to using the bathroom instead of her pants. Good luck!!

Answer 7

Maybe you are pressuring her to much, especially since you say you have been working on her since she was 2, my daughter is 4 and is just now starting to train herself, she goes after she gets up of a morning by herself, and she goes when she wakes up in the middle of the night, and during the day, accidents are going to happen, but it's no big deal, she will do it when she's ready, pressuring her to become potty trained, just means she is just going to refuse even more. Don't put so much pressure on her, she'll do it when she's ready.

Answer 8

What ever you do do not punish her, when ever she has an accidnet just say "oops did we forget to go potty in the potty" and help her change in to dry cloths and its also normal for children that age to be having potty accidents dont worry it will go away by the next year or so

Answer 9

Put a diaper on her until she's ready to be potty trained. Having raised 3 kids I can tell you that potty training is one thing that you (parent) can not control - you'll lose this battle every time if you chose to make it a battle. From your 4 year old's perspective, this is about control. He/she will go on the potty when he/she is ready. If you rush it, you'll double your time until they relent.

Answer 10

She'll go when she's ready. If she's never gone on the potty on her own she might not be ready yet. If she has and doesn't all the time she might be lazy, not wanting to distract herself from what she's doing for long enough to use the potty.