what should i do about my little boy's incredibly hard to handle tantrums? we'll be at the supermaket and he will literally fall on the floor over a toy he cant have, and no matter how patient and understanding i am, he just wont stop! it happened yesterday and after 10 long minutes i finally lost it and carried him out. this happens everywhere and i can barely go to any place anymore, the park, his kindergarden, friend's houses, without feeling completely embarrassed! my best friend keeps telling me to take off his diaper and spank him hard on the bare butt, but i've seen her do it to her little girl once and i don't think it helps. her baby doesn't even HAVE tantrums usually and after the spanking she thew a fit.
so how i should i deal with this? i'm running out of options!
2006-06-13 03:54:24 · 20 answers · asked by Angie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Be firm, but not violent. Whip his *** right there in the store in front of God and everyone. Believe me, if he's the spawn of Satan during tantrums, the crowd will applaud when you correct him. Make sure you correct the behavior each time he does it so not to confuse him... Later, talk with him about it, face to face (literally.) Ask him why he thought the got the spanking, and let him know you love him but you won't tolerate that anymore.
2006-06-25 02:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer D 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My son went through this phase, I think just about every toddler does. When he would do it I would IMMEDIATELY take him to the car and spank him. Don't wait until you get home, he will not associate the spanking with the tantrum. Don't even wait 10 minutes because by that time he has already forgotten why he is mad. As soon as the fit starts, take him to the car, or restroom, or somewhere private and spank him. Tell him you are spanking him because he had a tantrum. If he is wearing a diaper or training pants take it off or you are wasting your time. Otherwise just pull his pants and underwear down and give him about 5 or 6 good hard swats on his bare bottom with your hand. That is enough for a child that age.
2006-06-19 01:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
instead of using negative try Positive. for example when you go into the store tell him if he's good the WHOLE time then he can have a small candy or toy when you leave. or if he starts throwing a fit in the store pick him up and take him to the car right away don't let him scream it out in the store since its embarrassing for you plus Annoying for the other shoppers, when you take him out DON'T say ANYTHING to him. the best thing to do is ignore the tantrums. Spanking doesn't usually work so i wouldn't do that if I were you. good luck i know how frustrating it can be also remember to stay Calm!!
2006-06-13 04:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave where ever you are IMMEDIATELY, not after 10 minutes. There is no negotiation during a tantrum. Go home. And on the way home talk to him to whole way so he knows what he is in trouble for. When you get home spank him, put him in time out, make him in dinner in his room, take toys away, etc, etc. You get the jist. Patience and understanding are still giving him the attention he wants and condoning the behavior. He needs to know there is a price to pay for his actions, the first time every time.
2006-06-13 06:01:47 · answer #4 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something out of the norm, distract him. I have a son with special needs and that is what his occupational therapist suggested when he threw his tantrums. sing a song, walk away a few feet or just flat out ignore it. it is an attention getting.
I agree with the leaving in the other answers but if it is what he wants you're just rewarding bad behavior. being a parent is complicated. each kid is different. Don't spank it only teaches them that if they're angry with someone its OK to hit them.
I hope I helped, good luck and be strong.
2006-06-23 14:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by Red Yeti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe key with even kids this little is risk/ reward. Take away something he wants when he gets home because of how he acted at the store. This behavior builds on itself. When you are in public and he is being good PRAISE him and point out the other kids that are making bad choices and throwing fits. It's not overnight behavior switching but it's a loving way to put them on a corrective path.
2006-06-13 04:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by laughingmyarseoff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess you are struggling with parenting in more then one area. Any child will try a tantrum but the parent setting consistent boundaries and providing consequences for going over boundaries will teach the child proper behavior. If the child notices that there is a possibility that annoying you he will get what he wants it will work as a reward for child to continue to exhibit this behavior. May be you should get a baby sitter that you can go to places. And going out with you shall be a reward for your child if he behaved well. And one more thing- talk with your child as somewhat an adult but in the language understandable to him and explain situation and consequences every time it happens. Trust me- at this age kids understand lot more then we give them credit for.
2006-06-13 04:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by mini golf blonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have NOTHING to be embarassed about. If you feel that you are doing the right thing for your child, stick to it. Let all the people who walk past and stare, or even comment, bring their kids up their own way. Spanking is really not a good idea - you will be teaching him that you lose control just as easily as he does. not only will this give him a sense of insecurity and unrealiablity, it will also teach him that it is okay to react in this manner.
I know how you feel. my son used to be the king of tantrums! He once had a really loud one on the floor of the supermarket for 40 minutes. i thought my brain would explode after that one!
There are tons of resources on line to help you deal with it according to his nature and your nature. You will also feel very much comforted when you go on-line - to know that there are thousands of moms out there who also have the same problem....
My method is as follows:
in the initial stages, i jsut let the tantrum ride. he has alot of frustration to get rid of, and a good tantrum is a great way of lashing out at the unfairness of it all. i dont leave him alone so that he does not feel abandoned. i dont try to console him - he needs to lash out sometimes. besides, consoling him in the early stages will probably get him to hit or kick me out of anger, and that will be something i do have to punish him for, which i would rather avoid....
eventually, the tantrum wears off and becomes sobbing and crying, at which point i will take him into my arms and console him in a general sense, but will not enter into debate about the subject which caused the tantrum.
when he is calm, i will ask him what he wanted, at which point will say no for the same reasons as before. sometimes, another tantrum will be set off immediately, and with which i deal in the same manner. eventually, he will back off.
dont ever give in or compromise, even in times when it is easier to do so. think before you say no. no in my house is set in stone, and my kids know it.... dont ever give him the impresssion that you love him less for the tantrum, and never punish a child for having a tantrum. the punishment is the tantrum itself and the fact that he lost his little battle.
it is very hard to keep it up and be endlessly patient - especially when you are pressed for time or when people are watching. chin up! a method which is loving, consistent and firm will stand you good stead in reducing the length and frequency of the tantrums, and will improve your relationship with your son, his self of secuirty, and your peace of mind.... good luck!
2006-06-13 06:11:20 · answer #8 · answered by Leah S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with leaving the store. My daughter is, I guess I could call it difficult too, and leaving is what he wants. I try to calmly talk to her and when that doesn't work, I just pretend to ignore her( always making sure she is safe, though). Its very embarrassing, but hopefully other will understand. If they don't, then its their own problem. I think the biggest help is making sure the child is VERY well rested and always bring an arsenal of toys and snacks that your child normally can't have. And if they were good during the entire trip then reward them!!!! And praise them till they are sick of you! I hope some of this helps. Unfortunately, my daughter is still 'difficult' but is better then she used to be!
2006-06-23 12:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by kissy73179 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do decide to spank your child, don't do it in the store!
I don't know what else you can do, maybe bring along a toy of his so he plays with his toys instead of wanting new ones! Maybe (If you can!) Don't take him shopping with you!
Other than that, I don't know what else you can do!
Don't give into the tanturm (sounds like you aren't!) he'll get in the habit of getting what he wants and that's not good! Just walk away from the isle, maybe put him in the cart and walk away!
A Lot of kids do this, and it will pass!
Good Luck!
2006-06-13 04:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋