This guy I'm dating spends a lot of time out at the NYC gay bars/clubs with his friends...?

Question

He says he just likes to get a few drinks and hang out with the boys (most of which I'm not on a good footing with because I don't do bars or clubs), but I wonder if it's more than that. I haven't found/heard any evidence of him cheating and he says he's being completely faithful to me. I have to admit though, that my Spidey sense is tingling. I really love him and he says he loves me, but I can't help but wonder if - I'm just a sucker for believing him? Should I believe him and not worry? I don't want to end up being played, you know. I thought relationships were supposed to get easier to manage the older we get. Please help!

I thought it was obvious, but I should mention that I too am a gay man. Thanks to the women who said - check your man honey before he becomes a batty-boy.

Answer 1

The next few times he goes invite yourself along.I know it sounds rude but if he cares about you he wont care. You will find out quick if he says great then hes probably not doing anything if he gets uncomfortable that you know something is going on.

Answer 2

Red Flag!!! Your spidey sense should be tingling. With violence against gays and lesbians at an all time high, you'd think he'd go to a sports bar or any other bar for a drink with his friends. I think your bf is gay but is afraid to "come out". He is using you to show how "not gay" he is.

By the way .... relationships NEVER get easier no matter how old we get! I'm 42 and its still tough.

Answer 3

Im gay and if he is straight and spending time in gay bars you need to talk. Once bitting by the gay bug for men its usually for good. I don't know many straight guys hanging out with gay guys unless he is bisexual and so he still needs it or he wants to try deep down inside. He could still love you but want to try etc. Be careful of of sexual deseases he might bring home. Me are not that careful when they **** around at clubs and such. As him if he has been with a man before etc. Go with him and check out the vibes spider man. Good luck.
V

Answer 4

I don't know who told you relationships were supposed to get easier to manage as we get older, they lied.

To answer your question, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck. Also, birds of a feather flock together. Sorry to use cliches but those are so basic that I feel a little silly telling you them. However they are two very good tools to use that help make managing relationships easier, if we'd only listen to them. Follow you gutt, your instincts (your Spidey sense). Trust me, it will not let you down. Forget about him cheating, unless you don't care that it's with other men. I think that he and his buddies are more than likely closet homosexuals and to mask that, they go to regular bars to hit on women.

Answer 5

Single people hang out in clubs and bars. It's OK to do it once and while with the guys, but not all the time. the two of you should be hanging out at the bar and clubs together. If he has a problem with that, then he has a problem with the relationship.

Answer 6

You better get suspicious and look into that B S. That's some downlow bull right there. I know some guys that are straight with some gay friends (not many) but they don't go that far. Something smells S*itty here.

Answer 7

What kind of a real man would want to be in a gay bar anyway? Find someone else....... quick!

Answer 8

perhaps you should go to club with him once in awhile or perhaps you can find one of his friend that willing to talk to you. And maybe send a friend into the club and find out?

Answer 9

GAY WAD