i was reading once that we should not say No to our children or keeping them under our control.?

Question

if we control their life they will be used to be under others control in life, work, love...
should we let them choose their way? watching them and listenning to them, teaching them to be responsible and take their own decisions? is it easy to do?

Answer 1

Hmm! The question about children has been reoccurring since I was a child. I'll like to look at this from two angles: the parents and the child.

Parents should say NO to their children. Being a parent is not so easy like most people think it is, first you have to think of the right man for your kids, when to have them, what schools they will attend, how to raise them, under what condition to raise them, what their career paths should be (whether it in line with your or not) etc. And someone thinks parenting is easy.
Every thing is easy so long as we put our mind and heart to it and we trust and hope unto the Lord. It is normal for every parent to want to control the lives of their children after going through the above; in fact parents will fill bad, not responsible, not fulfilled if their kids turn out bad. Every Mother wants her child to be the envy of the society, so parents should not be blamed for trying to take control of their kids lives (not that I support this) but the truth is that it is inherent for parents naturally to do this.
Most times saying NO to a child is not dining that child but making him/her to understand that your NO is means NO. Parents should not bend to the wishes of their children always, they should give to them what they need not what they want.

Now from the child's point of view, most often, it has been proven scientifically that children take after their parents in terms of physical resemblance and behavior. One can see a reason why people say "the kid is a chip of the old block" meaning the kid took after his father but most often in this present generation and our society at large children are force, threatened and bullied to do, not only what their parents wants but also anyone they give regards to and have placed on a high pedestrian. Whether anyone accepts it or not children have a mind of their own. Has anyone ever wondered why a 9 month old baby crawls back to a candle stick he was removed from? Or why he wants to touch your neighbor’s dog? Or why he just loves to take a deep in the pool? It’s because they all have a mind that can not be under subjection. When ever they notice that someone wants to take control of their free will the fight back or like some people will say they become rebellious.

Finally, bringing the two together, parents should commune with their children helping them to choose their path in life, listen to them because it is their life help to fine tune it and for children they should in turn listen to their parents for they are wiser and more experienced The Bible says parents teach your child the way they should go and they way of the Lord and they will not depart from it.(paraphrased)

Answer 2

Short version is that in life there are boundaries, rules and lots of people saying no. Kids need to learn and respect that. If you never say no how will they ever respect andyone in the real world when they say it ... eg Teachers, cops etc...

Just by saying no you wont oppress your kids... If you only say no then maybe they will be confused as they dont know the reasoning. Talk with you children and explain the rules.. they will then understand when no comes into play...

We really must begin to use a level of common sense because our children cant run wild and we just sit back and watch.

Answer 3

The thing about control is that everyone needs to exercise is in life at a given time or we are "out of control." My parents were adamant about giving us choices, because that's the one thing we really don't train our children to do because we exercise "control" in the manner that they don't have a choice because we are the parents. My parents offered choices that helped me understand that I was directly responsible for my actions and that trained me to understand consequences and risks. For instance there was "If you touch that, you will be grounded." Sometimes I chose to be grounded but knowing full well what my punishment would be. This is the same thing in adult life, if you stay out late...you will be tired in the morning...is this something you want to do? So instead of saying "No", give your child a choice and let them decide "No" for themselves so they learn to be under their own control and not yours.

Answer 4

Short version is that in life there are boundaries, rules and lots of people saying no. Kids need to learn and respect that. If you never say no how will they ever respect andyone in the real world when they say it ... eg Teachers, cops etc...

Just by saying no you wont oppress your kids... If you only say no then maybe they will be confused as they dont know the reasoning. Talk with you children and explain the rules.. they will then understand when no comes into play...

Get yourself a copy of Nanny 911... Its got a great guide to how to manage this and your kids will turn out to be great kids...

Good luck...

Answer 5

Uh huh... and you wonder why children are such monsters anymore! You can't teach a child to be responsible when they don't know the difference between right or wrong or understand that there are always consequences for their actions. There is a difference between controlling a child and disciplining a child.

Answer 6

Children should not have their own way, otherwise they walk all over their parents. Its said that "children want parents & not friends," & this statement is true.
Teach ur child(ren) right 4rm wrong, & trust that u've done a good job. I'm 18 & my mom didnt control me nor does she let me get away with wrong doings, but her secret is trusting me, & i wudnt do anything to break that trust. If it happens that that trust is broken, thats when tough love comes in2 action. Don't control but be firm! U want respect 4rm them & not fear.

Answer 7

That is just crazy. But is probably the reason kids these days are so messed up. They need boundaries set, they crave them in order to feel secure. Using the word "No" is a tool for setting boundaries and instilling morals.

Answer 8

notwithstanding occurred to understanding your self, your companion, and your relationship properly sufficient to ward off divorce? We act and talk like divorce is inevitable, yet it is purely a cop out for people who do no longer decide for to artwork at their marriage. Marriage works in case you artwork with it. What our immature society believes although is that there is a few massive pay off suited away for staying married and staying genuine to that and while that great pay off would not take place, they get pissed off and lazy. Marriage is complicated artwork and you could by no ability, ever get that "massive pay off." no longer until you have been by a lot and traveled so a techniques at the same time with your companion and comprehend that the two considered one of you led one hell of a existence at the same time. Divorce rules do no longer could desire to get replaced. Marriage rules do no longer could desire to get replaced. it is a lot less demanding than that. Marriage is a step in a relationship that could desire to be fascinated approximately grace, fortitude and a powerful experience of who you're and the place the relationship is going. What desires to alter is human beings's concept of who they are and whether or no longer their existence and their relationship is particularly waiting for marriage.

Answer 9

what book did you get that from,,,,,,,your children have to know the word ,,,no,,,or they will think that they can get or take anything that they want or do,,,,no is not a bad work,,,it also teaches children and people that they have to work to get what they want,,,,,,,and if we control them,,,,we are our children's teachers,,,not a dictator,,,,we show them love,,right from wrong,,and say no,,,if needed,,,,where ever you found this book,,,,,throw it away,,,and no don't read it,,,,

Answer 10

then please don't move near me! and I'll see you in juvenile court