He cheated what should I do?

Question

well, I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now and have been madly in love. Just recently I found out that in the first year of dating cheated on me and lied when I questioned him. He actually lied to me a lot about the whole situation he kept on creating new lies everytime I would find out a little bit of what happened. The problem is that he is jealous of other guys that are around me and is afraid that I will cheat on him. I do get a lot of attention from men but would never do anything. Should I end this relationship? or will he be true to me and stop worrying about me with other men? I mean do you think that he will cheat on me again? the thing is that when my friends found out her cheated on me the were honestly in shock, because when my boyfriend is around me he acts as if there is no other girl in the world. I told him to get out when hw first finally told me and that I never wanted to see him again, but he got really upset and I did let him back. Was that a good thing?

Answer 1

My advice is this:
There is no rule that says "if he cheated, you must dump him." If he shows that he loves you now and can say to you that he is committed to you and will never cheat again, then you you have the choice to take his word for it. By staying with him you are taking a risk, but that is a risk everyone takes when they get close to someone. By being close to someone you are putting yourself out there, and you are vulnerable to getting hurt. The thing is to try to make sure you are both out there. Try tackling this problem together. Instead of thinking this is MY problem that HE cheated, try to think of it as OUR problem (yours and his) that HE cheated. You'll be amazed how open he can become about his feeligns, even ones from the past, IF you change your perspective to an US perspective not a ME versus YOU perspective. In addition you let him know that the hurt you feel is also a problem that is OUR problem, (yours and his) not YOUR problem. No matter what is in the past two people have to establish a way in which they are a unit together facing their problems. If you cannot do that, or if he will not communicate better with you, then you may need to move on. My advice is not to stick with him no matter what, but just not to think that taking a risk for someone you love is wrong. The worst thing about your story is not that he cheated, but that he did not communicate well with you (he lied). See if you can get some better communication from him, tell him that you forgive him but that you still need to talk about what happened, not why he cheated, but what he was feeling when he chose to lie to you, does he ever feel like that now, like there are things he can't tell you. And be sure to tell him that you also need to communicate better about the times when he is overly jealous. That is another problem that you can embrace together. It may not go away (men are often jealous all their lives), but you can work together to find something that works for both of you. As long as you COMMUNICATE!

Answer 2

It sounds as though you both find yourselves attracted to one another. More than likely, this is just the beginning of your experiences of learning to distinguish between animal attraction and true love. It takes a little time and experimentation to find the real people in life with whom you can really find the right connection. If by chance you happen to find your true sole mate, consider yourself blessed, as a great many people have to live their entire life without finding that other person. Have fun and try not to get too hung up on all the trivial stuff. If however you find that he is just using you and not giving back his share, it's time to move along. Just try not to hurt each other along the way.

Answer 3

You're with him 4 years and this happened the first year? In order for this relationship to work, you're going to have to find it in your heart to forgive him...even though you'll never forget. It seems this guy truly does care for you, but you'll probably always wonder about what he's doing when he's not around. If you can get over that, hang tough. After 4 years, you two can probably work it all out.

Answer 4

that was a hard one for many others to answer for me. But I have never been cheated on and sweety what u should do is leave him. Dont stay in a relationship that will only hurt you more. I think that being in a relationship is hard for some males, because they dont know what to do. But in any case just try not to live way and beyond what are expecting. Im nice and i at least want to see you happy, you dont need to be crying. Its hard to get over it when you love them, but its way harder to get over it.

Answer 5

Honey if you have already got evidence he's dishonest ("So I consider my bf is dishonest doing the web factor I do have evidence, however he hides his "cookies" temp records that may hint what you're doing on-line.. ") why might you wish to maintain torturing your self watching for extra proof? Just kick him to the cut down noone merits to be cheated on. I realize its less complicated stated than performed for the reason that I'm certain you like him, however love your self extra. No man is ever valued at your tears.

Answer 6

Well its a difficult situation.. There's only one question for you.. Does He loves you the way that you do? 'Cause women don't cheat that easy.. but men do.. and it doesn't mean that they don't love you.. it means that they are MEN and they like to be with a lot of girls.. that's a fact! not in general of course! well.. Think about the things that He does for you.. Does he really loves you? May be he does.. and he regrets for what he did... go to him and talk.. just talk.. don't fight! and let him talk and explain.. Play STRONG and tell him that you need the whole truth! with details! it's better if you know it all.. in steed of picturing it in your head.. OK? Try to think reasonably, WHAT'S BETTER FOR YOU! WOULD BE BETTER FOR BOTH

Answer 7

ok once a cheater always a cheater that is what the saying saids, but i believe people can change. i think if it happen 4 years ago and your finding out now then you might as well let it go! its way in the past. its not like it happen recently. as for him he is already getting his punishment, the jealousy is driving him crazy!!! that torture enough, but what i think you should do is once in a while keep him guessing..go out dont say where you going i least for a little while let me suffer, till you feel you got even! trust me he wont do it again!

Answer 8

I think that you should forgive him, try to look at your relationship and see what you both could do to spice things up a little, I will tell you what worked wonders for me and my honey. We started posting our pics on NEWBIENUDES.COM......we have had so much fun with it, we love to read all the comments that people put on our pics, and we had fun playing with another couple one night too, I didnt have sex with the other guy though, I dont want to do that, I jsut like playing with the girl.

Answer 9

every one makes mistakes and if in four years it only happened that one time at the beginning i would just let it go true he should not have lied he should have told you the truth but to leave him four years after he did what he did would be stupid try to work through it if you think the relationship is worth saving

Answer 10

You should get rid of him!!! He says he won't cheat on you again but he will. I think you should have left him out. I know you love him but cheating is not a good thing. and if he lied to you about it who knows what else he lied to you about!! Get out of this relation ship honey, it will do you good.