We havent been together very long, and i dont know whether i want to sleep with him yet as I'm still a virgin and I want to be completely in love before i have sex.
But he keeps telling me he loves me and he thinks we're ready and i'm finding it really hard to tell him that I dont feel the same quite yet.....
2006-06-13 02:04:19 · 21 answers · asked by oh_gosh_anna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
then he doesnt respect you...since he wotn let you make up your own mind...find someone else
2006-06-13 02:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jack Kerouac 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is ready not you. its not fair of him to tell you how you are feeling. If hes pushy and controlling about this, this early in the relationship ..just think how the rest of it is going to go. If he truely loved you, he would respect your choices and wait til you are ready wihtout comments or pressure.
Love takes time and only you know when you are ready for such a big, emotional step. Don't let him talk you into it, and no not everyone is doing it! (in case hes tried that argument)
I would personally say that you could nicely and firmly tell him that you are not ready and will tell him when you are feeling ready. He can either wait with out discussion or pressure or leave! If he LOVES you like he says he does then he will gladly wait . If he leaves then you are better to find out now than after you have given up yourself to him!
2006-06-13 02:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by tara t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know if you're ready for sex yet then you're not. You should tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and also have a think to yourself about if he really loves you or if he's just saying he is to get you into bed. Your virginity is yours to give, not his to take. You will know when you are ready.
2006-06-13 02:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, my b/f was like that. We have been going out for about a month and he is already reaching up my shirt and talking about sex and everyhitng else. I didnt know how to tell him either. Dont worry. A lot of guys are like that, but I am not saying break it off with him just because of that. First off, I think that it is a great idea to be completely in love before things get too deep, and love is a very, VERY powerful word. I know. If the guy says that he loves you and you dont feel something when he says it, he isnt "in love" with you. He may think that, or he is just out for one thing, but Im not sure. Either way, you have to tell him that you are uncomfortable with the situation. How I did it was one noght when we were watching a movie at his house, he pused me too far. Far enough to the point where I wasnt comfortable to be next to him. He was pushing me. I sat up and before I could say anything he asked what was wrong. I answered his question. I didnt want to do anything that I might regret, I care about him a lot, but I didnt love him. I still dont, but it has only been three months and I dont know him enough to fall in love with him. You dont have to wait like I did. I was scared and shy about it, but if you are uncomfortable in any situation the easiest thing to do it just say so. I know that it might ba hard at first, but it is just a few words. My b/f said that he will never get upset at my feelings even if they are in his favor. He is great. He listened and now we are taking things slow and I like it. But, just tell your b/f. I am sure he will understand. Best of luck and if he isnt the guy you an dI thought, then he isnt worth trying to love.
2006-06-13 02:16:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always remember this one thing, If a guy says he loves you and sex is in the same paragraph, dont do it cause he is only going to say that to get in your pants. Or "If you love me, you would have sex with me."
If he really loves you, he would have said "Baby i love you, and if you want to wait until you are ready, then i have no problem with waiting also." If you are not ready, tell him, and his actions should tell you how he really feels about you.
2006-06-13 02:12:12 · answer #5 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds like a real cliché but it is actually true...if he really loves you, he'll wait for you. Noone should ever be pressured into having sex & dont let him do this to you..you wont enjoy it for one! Don't be afraid to tell him that you're not ready yet. He might be one of the good guys. But if he's not.......he's definitely not worth it so get rid of him.
2006-06-13 04:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by foxychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know the hard way. If you don't want to sleep with him, then don't. The more pressure he puts on you, the further away you have to go. Even if you have to split up with him, he's got to get the message. (Honestly, you'd think us men would have grown at least one brain cell by now.)
You can't let youself get pressured by anyone. It's your body, NO ONE has the right to tell you what you can and can't do with it.
Good luck, hope I've helped.
2006-06-13 02:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by HiFi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think anyone is ever truly in love the first time they have sex, i was 15, i did love the guy but you grow up and find out what love really is. If your not ready dont let him bully you. If he doesnt respect your wishes then he doesnt deserve you! x
2006-06-13 02:10:01 · answer #8 · answered by pullmyhair_n_callmebitch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never let anyone force you into doing things that you are not comfortable or ready for!! Unwillingly having sex with someone is not a prove of love! Put yourself first in this situation. If he can't respect your choice, you are better off without him, cause he will disrespect you in other area as well.
2006-06-13 02:09:05 · answer #9 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been through the same. If he doesn't respect the time you need, he is the one who isn't ready. He is the one who doesn't care enough for you.
Say no to him until you really feel like doing it. If he waits as much as YOU say so, he deserves you.
Later, you'll really be proud of your choice, I promise.
2006-06-13 03:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by Cornflake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen in the end its your body as much as he wants to be a part of it its your choice if you offend him and he hates you for it then you know that hes only after one thing. If he gets upset then let him go, there's no point in doing something with someone because you don't want to disappoint them. Just be true to yourself and your values
2006-06-13 02:40:13 · answer #11 · answered by Imogen228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋