I'm a new mum to a 4 month old baby girl and although I have always got along well with my parents in law, their regular visits are starting to frustrate me now. They travel about 6hrs to be here and have visited 3 times now in this 4 month period. I have probably felt sensitive and emotional since my daughter's birth and continue to do so. My husband is very close to his family and my requests for a bit of space and a balance with visits have sort of gone on deaf ears with him saying he doesn't understand me and that what is the problem with them. Strangely I feel I am focussing too much in my mind on when the next visit will be and for how long & am getting hung up. I am probably feeling possessive of my little girl and routines being interrupted. But all said and done it seems still to be too often for comfort. To make my husband try to understand my view point I think I may now have overworked the subject. Any guidance any one on sorting my head or making my husband really hear me?
2006-06-13 01:23:26 · 12 answers · asked by sweetpeachmummy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go for a vacation..try to SLOW TALK with him..tell him that is not that u're really stress-out with his family, it just that sometime, u need a space for urself, say to him that it is normal for every people to have the freedom, including him. Maybe he has his own way for that space, for u maybe u need some time for relax ur body with nobody around except u, ur baby n ur hubby. Don't try to force him to understand /take this rapidly, for sure he cant accept it. Make sure the time is right, but if he still didnt understand the matter, try n try again, i'm sure, with his rational thinking, he will take into consideration. BTW, best of luck, sheer up n dont stress-out.
2006-06-13 01:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by munchen2186 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Time to lay down the law, firmly but politely. As husband and wife, you are priority #1 to each other. Family is not. Your husband needs to understand this. You should be the most important thing in his life and vice-versa. Like you said, you get along with your in-laws. It's not like you're banishing them. When people get married, there's always that part about promising to love and honor. Well, you need to be honored.
I hope things work out for you!
2006-06-13 01:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your parents in-law are just being kind and loving. There is probably something you think you can handle but which they don't think so. The only way out of it is to show more love to them and be pleasant. Soon you will know the real reason for their frequent visits and by that time no one would be offended.
2006-06-13 01:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sage_Learner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps this will slow down soon. Is your husband an only child? Is your child the first grandchild?
My inlaws only visited us twice in 25 years and that upsets me.
See if you can plan other weekend events with your husband and child to balance your life. Good luck.
2006-06-13 01:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by redunicorn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether you like them or not, 3 times in 4 months isn't overkill IMO. Try putting yourself in their shoes, they want to see their grandchild and are excited. You should be happy they want to be apart of your baby's life. For your child and maybe your marriages' sake, I suggest to put your feelings aside and share a little. The visits will dwindle over time.
2006-06-13 01:31:49 · answer #5 · answered by DS2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're lucky, that's not too often. My fiance needs to visit his parents every weekend or he gets angry. This is really bad because he works away all week and then he wants to go and visit them all weekend. Buy Anyways, your husband needs to respect you and maybe you can make a compromise. Hopefully he starts to listen unlike my man.
2006-06-13 01:27:27 · answer #6 · answered by sundragonjess 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try writing him a letter He might get it if it is in writing. Some men just have problems listening if you present it in a different way then you might get better results and he will know it is important because you took the time to wire it
2006-06-13 01:28:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally dont think once a month is too much for them to come visit... at least they dont live close where they could just pop in un announced! Be grateful that your baby has such lovign grandparents!
2006-06-13 01:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by geet840 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with geet, consider yourself lucky, my in-laws could care less about our kids.
2006-06-13 01:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by Hold em Rox 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your mother to come and stay for a week, then. You husband'll see.
2006-06-13 01:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by bla_bla_bla 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋