I tend to be a wimp sometimes. Someone says something abusive and then my mind goes blank and I don't have a response. My mind is all flooded so I don't say anything at all. I always have an answer 10 minutes later but it is too late. Any hints to overcome this blanking out?
2006-06-12 21:43:47 · 7 answers · asked by Brandon Fraser 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Spend 25 years teaching high school and eventually you'll get there. It worked for me.
No, seriously... This is key: you are responsible for yourself. Don't worry about those jokers who get their jollies by putting other people down. Do what you think is right, and don't accept the trash they talk. That's their problem, not yours. You don't always have to have a snappy comeback. Focus on doing what you know you should and that in itself will give you greater strength to stand up for yourself.
2006-06-12 21:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by Muddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start small. In other words, practice responses to things that make you uncomfortable or feel challenged with the people who love you most and you feel comfortable around.
It is also not neccessary to always have a response. Sometimes responding to someone verbally, or emotionally, only provokes them more. When people say abusive things it is usually because of their own insecurities and fears. That does not make it right, but that is how things go sometimes and a great deal of the time with younger people.
My daughter used to struggle with the same thing. She was intelligent and witty (still is), but she never had a ready come back when someone was being malicious or abusive. However, today she is almost 20. She is open minded, kind to others and has many excellent friends. (Some of whom were the abusers earlier in high school)
She always wanted to have the answers and the witty comebacks and to be popular. I will tell you the same thing I told her and that is that sometimes saying nothing at all is the best comeback anyone can give. It does not make you witty it makes you wise. If you have to sacrifice who you are to be popular, it is not worth it. Spend some time looking at the ones who treat you wrong. I think you will find them very insecure and shallow. I know it's not a great deal of comfort, but everything will change over the next few years. Just try not to let them see you are bothered and they will move on. (If all else fails and you have to say something..say thank you. they will inevitably not expect this and will say something in return. My daughters reply to a 2nd comment was always a sarcastic "Nice comeback") Good luck!
2006-06-12 21:59:08 · answer #2 · answered by Tess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are classes to learn this. You can follow one at a local business or college (adult education) or try an online resource like http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap13/chap13e.htm or maybe the one shown below. Either way, stand up for yourself. You are worth it.
2006-06-12 21:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by Linda G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no quick answer to that. Get books on inter-personal skills. Or a tiny course on assertive training will do something.
2006-06-12 21:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by smile4763 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the fact that abuse is comming u'r way ...
Stand-up 2 it
You need'nt quarrel - just say NO !
2006-06-12 21:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by sεαη 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and see if you have a class that can teach you in your area there are where i live. and you will find that they will be a big help for you. good luck and keep your head up.
2006-06-12 21:48:45 · answer #6 · answered by Raylene M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hullo
assertiveness is one trait of personality,can be augmented by introspection and meditation.
Dr.solo
2006-06-12 22:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by baghdadcatcash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋