Me and my fiance have had the hardest time planning our wedding. For years I have promised my best friend that she could be my maid of honor when I got married.
However, my fiance has made it very clear that there is no way he could choose just one of his three brothers or friends to be his best man.
He thinks that we shouldn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen at our wedding, because he said that is like picking favorites, and he doesn't want to hurt anyones feeling.
There is no way I could have my dream wedding without bridesmaid or a maid of honor. It is just breaking tradition...
Any suggestions on how we can solve our problem????
2006-06-12 20:45:00 · 11 answers · asked by *Brooke28* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
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Your fiance needs to let you have your wedding, first of all. This is important to most women as it's something many of them have been thinking of since they were little girls. It's been important to them that long. He should work with you to make it all that you want it to be and more.
In his trouble of choosing a best man, he should get the 'candidates' together, and explain how important each of thier friendships are to him. Chosing one of them isn't something he should be put in a position to do which is why the 'meeting' is being held. Start off by asking for any volunteers that help him out by stepping down. This may end the decision by leaving one person. If not, the remaining guys can draw straws, draw cards, roll dice, rock / paper / scissors, or any type of random lottery system that all can consent to be a final outcome. Or he could get creative with the whole lot of them and hold a contest of some sort. Scavenger hunt with rediculous items to acquire. The one who collects the most of the items wins. And I mean stretch your imagination. A coin from Brazil for example. Things that no one person would have a clear advantage. The rest of the guys can be groomsmen. If they are true friends, this shouldn't be that difficult for them to make it easier on him.
I hope this helps. Good luck in with your situation and congrats. I wish you two the best.
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2006-06-12 21:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Alive and Well 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see it as picking favourites...as for hurting feelings it is YOUR (you and ur fiancee) day not anyone else's. Even though it would be an honour to be groomsman or best man. there are other important roles in the wedding like been a driver of the wedding car(s). Perhaps if he sat all the "chosen" ones and explained to them that You guys have decided to only have X amount of attendees and even though they are all important to him only ___ will be asked.. If they care for yous enough they won't mind and still turn up and not be put out!!??
OR
Do you have other females that you could ask to be a part of the bridal party to make up a few more numbers?? So not everyone is left out.
They say a wedding is the GIRL'S Day but it is the coming together of 2 people who have chosen to SHARE a life together. Compromise is the key. Give a little and ask for a little!!
Good Luck and much hapiness to you both for your big day. I hope it all works out for you both!!!
2006-06-12 23:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by dags042 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you should have/do what you both want with your wedding compromise may be key here. One thing to consider is that there is no rule that you have to have an equal number of MOH/Bridesmaids to BM/Groomsmen. I chose three and my FI will have two. You could have yours and if he really can't decide he could have none. If there are other special people who are important to you that you want to have involved there are always lots of ways people can help - ie ushers. But I agree with some other posts that you have follow you heart you only do this once. Best of luck.
2006-06-13 06:36:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is as much your wedding as it is his. Don't just agree on this matter or you will regret it forever. This is supposed to be one of the most important days in your life. Sit down and tell him you need to come up with a compromise that you can both agree with. If he doesn't want a best man he can just go with groomsman. So he won't hurt their feelings he could just have his brothers in the wedding and tell his friends that since he has 3 brothers he decided to just use family for the groomsman. Good LUCK!
2006-06-13 03:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by littlefoot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a special day for BOTH of you. compromise is key. he shouldnt have to do anything that he is not confortable with and neither should you.
if he had to put every guy he is cloth with in the wedding how many would that be -his 3 brothers and like 3 best friends maybe? thats not a bad number but then you would have to choose a higher amount of females to put as your brides maid (if he has sisters this might be easy. maybe he could just choose his brothers and groomsmen- his friends would understand that.
what ever the choice it should suit you both
2006-06-12 22:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by Michellee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to him how important it is to you. He should understand. Try thinking of a way he could use all of his brothers. Try having all three guys and you have three bridesmaids. The guys can draw straws or be paired up by height or age so that there is no reason to feel as if favorites were chosen.
2006-06-13 02:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first your fiance needs to get a grip ...This is your day and his and not having any attendents is crazy...Tell him that he can have one the best man and the others ushers ...They are important too. And if they don't like it oh well It is your wedding and they will get over it.......
2006-06-12 22:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-09 00:43:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is being very stubborn over something that is sposed to be a happy event ..and considering its tradition that the matron of honour and bestman are the witnesses that sign the marriage licence its the easiest way of deciding who your witnesses are.. you need to talk with him about this cos either way you need to decide on witnesses and why cant your best friend be your choice as witness
2006-06-12 22:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your fiance and your Friends and tell them how you feel if they love you they will listen and might be able to help you with your problem.
2006-06-12 20:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by hotcandysmacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋