Make me laugh as hard as i can for ten points?

Question

if you make me cry laugh roll on the floor and/or squirt milk out of my nose.Please do not put anything inappropriatte like bad words ,Yo mama jokes ,dumb blondes,or jokes that include @#$%$$%^$@%@#%^^*..ok

I like Proudmans answer but i have to wait 24 hours to pick it but if i find something better i might reconsider

HEY MATRIX BOY! YOU SPELLED LAUGH WRONG!!!!

Answer 1

Alright....One day a college proffessor walkd in to his class and tells the class i got a quistion for you guys....Has anyone in this class ever SEEN a gohst....a majority of the class raised there hand...then he asked has any one ever KISSED a gohst a fourth of the class raised there hand...he goes now has any one had SEX with a gohst...one guy wwwaaayyyyy in the back of the class room raisd his hand...the professor shocked called him down in excitment asked how was it..how did it feel to make love to a gohst...Thats when the kid said...GOD DAMNIT I THOUGHT U SAID GOAT!!!!

Answer 2

Dear Diary,
>
> Monday:
>
> Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home.
> It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake.
> The recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." The neighbors were nice
> enough to loan me some extra bowls."
>
> Tuesday:
>
> Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve
> without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when
> Bob brought a friend home for supper.
>
> Wednesday:
>
> A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before
> steaming the rice." It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath.
> I can't say it improved the rice any.
>
> Thursday:
>
> Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe.
> It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of
> lettuce one hour before serving." Which is what led up to Bob
> asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
>
> Friday:
>
> I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all
> ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been
> something wrong with this recipe.
> When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
>
> Saturday:
>
> Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.
> He asked me to dress it for Sunday. (oh boy) For some
> reason Bob keeps counting to ten.
>
> Sunday:
>
> Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I
> could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.
> I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls
> for roast.
> It still came out hamburger, much to my
> disappointment.
>
> Good night, Dear Diary. This has been a very exciting
> week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out
> a new recipe on Bob. If we could
> just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him
> with "Chocolate Moose."


God bless & hugs from Texas {:-)
<><

Answer 3

THE RECIPE

I knew it! I knew they would finally release the ingredients in Viagra!

3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat

Answer 4

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Nothing is funnier than the truth. Yea!love.

Answer 5

Hey I called my friend once with this relay service for deaf people and I made the realy person ask my friend if he got the gift I sent him. Then I said it should help unclog your backend and help keep the **** flowing more freely.

Answer 6

Ok, let me try to tickle your funny bones...

Two flies eating on a pile of $hit.
fly 1: I feel like farting.
fly 2: Hey, don't be rude, I'm eating...

Answer 7

okay........
two dogs are having a conservation:
dog A: mate, have you heard the news? they said our saliva carries rabies
dog B: so, what's the problem now?
dog A: i'm kinda scared, i think i swallowed my saliva..

gets???

Answer 8

what do you give a dog with a fever? mustard because it's good for a hot dog

Answer 9

yo mama's so much into sex even his partner refuses her continuosly for 40 years, she is now diagnosed with Frustrate cancer.... frustrated with sex

Answer 10

two fish swim into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says 'damn'