She is going to go to a sperm bank anyway..She really wants to have a baby. She would prefer to know the father... and seems to be Ok with the idea of me not being a father figure. I want her to use my sperm, but I dont want to take on the full father role...
2006-06-12 18:50:33 · 21 answers · asked by honusmiles 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
why not. if it is a good friend you should do it. that is what i do if a friend ask me.
2006-06-19 12:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Have Fun 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really good of you to consider fathering a child for your friend. It's more than generous because it would have so many implications, but at the same time, your friend would have the security of knowing who the father of her baby was (I'm in England and don't know the processes of sperm banks or what they offer in the way of details of donors) but as a lot of people have said, the child may want to know it's father later. You say that you don't want to take on the full father role, so does this mean you are open to this at a later date? I think you need to have a good long-term look at what this means for everyone involved and make a decision based on the consequences of your actions should you choose to go ahead and father her child. Even if you don't want to be a father figure, you will be.
I wish you luck.
2006-06-13 03:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by taliesin_bow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are clear about what your role with the child will be, it is an incredible gift to give your friend. You could donate through a sperm bank or doctor (depending on your location) in order to clear yourself of any legal responsibility from the get-go. At least, this is true in California. Contact any sperm bank and they should be able to tell you the process of using them to be a known donor for a friend along with any legal issues you need to consider.
Again, specific to CA, but check your state, if you donate sperm on your own (i.e. in a vial, at home), you would not be able to sign away your rights as a parent until after the baby is born. Your friend would need to talk with a lawyer to get the paperwork in order, you would then sign in front of a notary - it's not a big deal.
Some sperm banks recognize that children of donors will, at some time, want to know more about their genetic heritage. These banks have "known donor" programs where the child can get the name and identifying information on their donor when they turn 18.
While it seems you have received many adamant responses, many religious, others simply uneducated about the sperm donation process, it is up to you to understand and consider what it would feel like to know that you have given the gift of a child to your friend and to define the relationship you want with that child.
I have a son by a known donor, but he is not actively involved in our lives. However, I like knowing that my son can find out about his donor some day if he wants to. I also have brothers who have never known their father. This wasn't because he was a donor, but because that was the situation my mom found herself in at the time. They are very well adjusted, happy adults. Both of them are fathers and very involved in their children's lives.
Plenty of people grow up without one or the other parent. How they handle it and feel about themselves in the world has to do with the parenting they do receive from the person who is there for them (be it mother, father, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster parent, etc.)
I believe you would be doing a wonderful thing giving your friend sperm, but that you should only do it after you have considered all the factors that will effect you, your friend, your relationship and the child.
Good luck in your decision.
2006-06-19 19:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by Curious Mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look into any possible legal ramifications involved. I've heard and this is possibly a myth that someone could collect child support from a sperm donor. I guess it depends on what you deem a good friend, even good friends turn bad.
2006-06-13 01:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by racing_garfield 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep in mind if you do decide to be a sperm donor theres a chance your friend may decide she wants you in the childs life or maybe even child support
2006-06-13 08:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A slippery slope my friend. You'll be taking on all the tasks of being a father whether you like it or not. The kid would probably like to meet his dad sometime down the line. What would you say to him?
2006-06-13 01:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by gcpochron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Anonymity for sperm donors should be required.
2006-06-13 01:55:14 · answer #7 · answered by kearneyconsulting 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make her sign a court document stating that she cant come after you for child support or anything in the future. if u dont and u just give her ur sperm, she can come after u later down the road. protect yourself.
2006-06-20 00:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by foreverb18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss every single issue in detail before doing anything. You might also want to talk to a lawyer about it, as she may decide later on that she wants child support.
2006-06-13 01:53:04 · answer #9 · answered by Mizbehavin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ut could be a big trouble later cuz if she knows that u r the father she will ask u for help adn if u dont do it u r going to be abad father and abad person so if i was u i will not do it
2006-06-13 01:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by sebyta262 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may feel this way now..... But once the baby is here.. you might regret it once you see him/her. She really needs an anounomous donor. People's attitudes sometimes change once they hold their own baby in their hands.
2006-06-13 01:51:41 · answer #11 · answered by blah blah blah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋