So what do I do?

Question

I have Two kids one is 3 and one is 7 months and My mother and My Mother in Law fight over them alot because my son Kalab is not my husbands Bilogical Son his mom treats him different and because Kylie is My husbands Biological Daughter my mother treats her different

Answer 1

maybe you should sit both women down and explain to them that its not right what they are doing. if they cant treat both children the same maybe they shouldnt be seeing them.

Answer 2

Okay, all four of you need to sit down and have a talk. Kalab and Kylie are equally as good. And if your mother and mother-in-law can't accept that, then neither of them deserve to see the kids. This kind of problem can really affect a child and their self esteem. You and your husband need to lay down the law. Also, I'm curious as to how your husband treats Kalab? If your husband treats him differently then your mother-in-law may be picking up that signal and following suit. Either way, don't let anyone treat your kids like that.

Answer 3

Do NOT allow them to behave like that. Those are your children and when he married you he took on the first child as his own and both parents should treat them equally! I'd have a very direct talk with them both at once with no kid's around, and tell them how you feel. The kid's WILL 100% notice it in time and wonder why there not as special and this will emotionally scar them so you need to put a stop to it at once! Tell them there being childish and you and your husband want them to have equal treatment or none at all. Be firm and let them know you mean business and that it's not okay to treat kids like there property!! They need to except them both as equals.
I hope you can work this out for the kid's sake and your marriage. Good Luck!

Answer 4

This is a problem that has been around forever. I had a mother in law who didn't like her biological grandchild and .......well long story. Some of us look back on our years of being a mother and it seems we wasted so much of our energy making every one happy. Trying to do that right thing.
Try to be non judgmental or finger pointing. I believe the written word has more power than the words that randomly come out of our mouths and also get tainted with emotions.
Sit down with the grandma and say. I see ..........this happening. When this happens I feel...........'
Look to her like a wise adult (whether she is or not)
Ask her.......'how do you think we can change this?"
Remember the saying.....you catch more flys with sugar than you do with vinegar. Sugar her up........tell her " you as a grandparent are so important to all of our kids........we need you.
How can we make things better for all of us.

If you put her on the defensive. She will be defensive.

Answer 5

Thats too bad,,, both are still they're grand kids blood or not.

But this kind of thing happens a lot, u should have a talk with both. Because if u notice it the kids are gonna start to notice.

U should sit both women down and tell them how u and ur hubby feel about this.. I know it hurts u and thats not right and they should be ashme to treat kids like this

Answer 6

Actually I am surprise your husband does not treat your two children differently also. What do you expect, just because you think everyone should feel a certain way does not make it so. Accept how they act, don't point it out or you will cause your children to have even more problems than you already have.
How stupid to keep cutting people out of your children's life (like others suggest) just because they don't act like they should.

Answer 7

I think they should learn to cut out the arguing and do what's best for the children. To be fighting like that, could be bad for the kids and if it lasts long term there could be problems.

Answer 8

You need to sit them down and explain that in your husbands and you eyes he is his son; would they love him more if he was his? They need to understand what emotional harm this will eventually do to your son and your daughter. You must talk with them and be stern!

Answer 9

tell them that everyone is family, if they cant stop the favortism youll have to cut them off till they can get it together. your seven month old might not know whats going on but your three your might see the difference. you have the final say on how your kids are treated. if they wont stop then cut them off. its not fair what theyre doing

Answer 10

You OWE it to your children to make THESE WOMEN understand that they can have both but not one or the other.

You love one, you love the other. You don't want to love the other..."that's okay! don't feel guilty mama! but until you can accept the other...buhbye!"