i have a 8 month old son and we are moving in my husbands 16 yr old sister. i love her but she has been in a lot of foster homes and i want her to stay with us. how can i deal with her temper and attitude with out sending her away like every one else. i need productive was to help her. i want to get her on the right path by going to school and such. i am just afraid she will not get her way one day and flip and i don't want that to happen. i have a son to care about.any advice would be helpful. thank you
2006-06-12 16:44:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think you need to take this all on. It's way to much for you to handle. Like you said, you have a son to take care of. The girl is sixteen. There is only so much you could do. Your priority is to make sure your son is in a safe enviroment. If she disrupts that, she should leave. She's old enough to understand that. You just have to be firm. I'm sure she needs that stability in her life right now anyways. Good luck. Teenage girls suck.
2006-06-12 16:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by kylanusoftly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there with troubled teens. In a way it is simple.
Cause and effect.
Put everything in writting. If she does this......then that happens. No need to argue or yell. Be sure you set expectations that won't punish you more. Have her help you set the rules and sign them. Ultimitatly it is up to you who makes the final decision. She will constantly test you and challenge the rules. If you are consistant then she will stop challenging. Some troubled teens are screaming out for love.
A teen's strongest tool will be to divide and seperate. Meaning you and your husband. You need to make sure you two agree on everything. If you don't, don't let her hear about it. Have a private discussion. It is up to you guys to either be the adults or let her rule the roost. Make the decision before she trys to seperate the adults.
If you fear the safety of the baby...then you set life up in a way that you are always making sure the baby is well taken care of.
It would be nice to be her friend, but don't compermise to keep her happy, bottom line is that you are helping her grown into adulthood, it is not a popularity contest. Good luck.
Good luck
2006-06-12 17:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to first have a loong conversation with your hubby and let him know what will happen if she acts up. talk to him about what will happen in your home.ask him what will happen if she messes up , who will punish her, who will scold her, who will be the good parent bad parent. let him knowwhere you stand, now with her, treat her like your friend but let her know that you are a mother figure, not a best bud. dont act like a teenager. be the parent you are suppose to be like, make sure she knows the rules and what will happen if she doesnt follow them. you have to be firm and stand your ground.let her have some freedom (only if she doesnt do drugs if she does then she cant be alone).let her be a tenager, dont cage her in.it will be hard and it might break your family if you do be strong. good luck.
2006-06-12 17:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a journal, and get her to keep one too.
2006-06-12 16:49:16 · answer #4 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her love and respect plus get her counseling
2006-06-12 16:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by babygirl29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋