2006-06-12 16:03:49 · 6 answers · asked by Emm 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
every night, a little girl would pray and say goodnight to everyone she could think of. her dad always put her to bed.
"good night mommy, good night daddy, good night grandma, good bye grandpa." said the little girl
"why did you say that?" asked the dad
"just because" replied the girl.
the next day her grandfather died. at bed time...
"good night mommy, goodnight daddy, good bye grandma." said the girl
"why did you say that?" asked dad
"it just came out." spoke the girl
the next day her grandma died. the dad started to wonder. that night...
"good night mommy, good bye daddy."
"what! uh, honey you just forget about that and go to sleep."
the next morning, dad woke up extra early. he began to grow paranoid and woke his wife up. sweety, i uh- um, gotta go to work early. i'll be back pretty late."
he assumed that nothing bad could happen to a guy sitting in a cubical all day. well it was almost 8PM and nothing deadly had happened to him. he decided to call it a day and return home.
when he got home, his wife answered the door and he ran inside.
the wife then spoke "honey, the strangest thing happened this morning."
"what?" asked the dad
"the mailman dropped dead on our porch!"
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10. Husseinfeld
9. Mad About Everything
8. Allah McBeal
7. Wheel of Fortune and Terror
6. Achmed's Creek
5. The Price is Right if Saddam Says it's Right
4. Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest
3. The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
2. Buffy the Slayer of American Imperialist Dogs
1. Suddenly Sanctions
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
2006-06-12 16:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by il_spongebob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and
it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they
passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride
and the old man to walk.
The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they
changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought
that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk.
The two decided that maybe they both should walk.
Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to
walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe
the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.
They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put
such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided
that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it
fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is...if you try to please everyone, you will
eventually lose your ***.
2006-06-12 18:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by mischiefmaker_kc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due to some administrative foul up,
Clinton gets sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell.
The Pope explains the situation to the hell administration, they check their
paperwork, and the error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it
will take about 24 hours to make the switch.
The next day, the Pope is called in and the hell administration bids him
farewell and he heads for heaven. On the way up, he meets Clinton on the way down, and
they stop to chat.
Pope: Sorry about the mix up.
Clinton: No problem.
Pope: Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven.
Clinton: Why's that?
Pope: All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.
Clinton: Well... you're a day late.
2006-06-12 18:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by moonearth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a ***** on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
2006-06-12 16:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by the.girl.u.will.nevr.forget.=] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A country boy had killed a chicken for Sunday dinner and was picking the feathers off, when he got a bright idea. He thpught to himself, I'll get my electric razor and shave those little pin feathers off and save some time. He did, and it worked great.
He sent his idea in a letter into the Schick Razor Company, and they liked the idea, too. They sent him a letter back saying from now on they were going to make three kinds of razors : men's Schicks, ladie's Schicks, and chicken's Schicks.
lol HAHAHAHAHA
2006-06-12 16:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by K K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good joke spongebob but i got a riddle almost no one can answer
hoo was born,
never died,
isnt living anymore,
yet still exists
2006-06-12 16:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by sarashapiro05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋