i've been married for seven yrs, but often time even though he's right there ifeel lonely...it seems that we are total oppisites and though we've tried,(mostly me) to find common ground, save for work we cant...he gets upset when i go out, but it's okay for him to do it...he has to check in where ever i go..im tired of this and need something more...but i dont know what...i know i can go it on my own, but i know he'll try to come get me if i do...what do i do? i feel alone yet stuck and unhappy.....
2006-06-12 16:02:56 · 11 answers · asked by lil_lelorina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
please understand that we work together, i rarely have time away from him...when i do i get yelled at for it...
2006-06-12 16:17:52 · update #1
You need to just ask him to sit down and have a calm conversation about both of your thoughts about this. Tell him that your marriage is important and that you feel isolated and that he is the one that can honestly help you, if he wants and cares about the marriage. Then listen for his response and go from there. Counselling may help as well. It sounds like he may not trust you or maybe is controlling about you getting out of the house. Usually those people are the guilty ones and they wonder if you are doing what they are doing.
2006-06-12 16:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by just julie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he been hurt before, or felt like he had no control over another relationship, something bad may have happened in a past relationship... Men do this when they have a bad relationship because they think they can make it possible for you not to do the same thing to them that the woman in the past relationship did... its hard to explain... and to answer your question yes I have been married for six years, and as much as I love my husband I never see him. He is always here, but most of the time we dont really spend time together. He works nights and has to sleep during the day. I cant get out because I cant drive, Im a stay at home mom with no one to talk to except online... and when we have kids so we are never alone... Most of the time he does his thing and I do mine... So I find myself lonely a lot. But your man may have some trust issues and its probably not your fault... especially if you havent done anything to make him mistrust you. This could have been emotional baggage from a past relationship... My suggestion is to talk to him and see why he has trouble with trusting you. He cant keep you from living your life.. He may need counseling before he can get past his trust issues. I suggest you should both go.... and make a day where you can do something together... Plan a weekend of fun or whatever day you can... Earn his trust, it takes time...
I hope i have been a little helpful to you
and my heart goes out to you as I am lonely too...
2006-06-12 23:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by hearts_bleed_dark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for eight years now. We experience a little distance after having our son. Naturally, because your attention is on the baby(now big boy 3 years) Anyway, what we did is just talked to one another about our feelings. Carved out time just for the two of us to. We remembered why we got married in the first place. You are just experiencing life in a marriage. Try not to think about leaving when everything is not picture perfect any longer. Marriage is work.(hard work) and if you truly love your mate, you will stick in there and work it out.
1Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) Love is patient,love is kind. it does not envy,it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,always perseveres... Love never fails. The best to you and your marriage. Just tell your husband how you are feeling. ;)
2006-06-12 23:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he check on you cos he feel very insecure or having some bad experience from his past or family history....
sit down have a talk but you cant expect him to change over night as well..
His afraid u might have a lover just like you are afraid he might have mistress....its the same in the end.
maybe youn can show him your friend so he will feel more secure instead of hiding your friends or bring him along for a few times then nxt time tell him ..."i going with the same group of ppl"
all the best to you
2006-06-12 23:50:50 · answer #4 · answered by flurry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, my hubby isn't so bad but I am home all the time with the kids whilst he is working and sometimes he never sees them at all. I make sacrifices so we can have the things he wants and he is selfish and spends money on whatever he wants. You need to weigh up if your marriage is worth it. If he can't see your point of view and thinks you are attacking him when you talk about this problem then it will never be resolved and you will never be happy.
2006-06-12 23:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by Abs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doyou want your marriage or nott hat is the question here,if you think your marriage can survive and you can be happy but just want some changes to your relationship with your husbund them get relationship counselling done so your both attending together,if everything has left your relationship and the love is no longer there in your heart and out then you need to leave and move forward dont be afraid of him if you are then you organise to go to a womens shelter and he will not get you and they will help you get back on your feet into your own home and working,
2006-06-12 23:09:52 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yell back at him Let him know you are not one to be easily bullied. Go out when he goes out. When he asked or go after you tell him to stop it and mean it. Your guy needs to be put in his place. Don't let him bully you around. Show him your fierce side. Most times it is not advantageous to be too timid. If you really can't stand such a life, divorce him and get half of everything both of you own.
2006-06-13 09:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I've been married for almost 14 years. It comes and it goes. It's like riding the surf, you just wait for the next wave. Hang in there sweetie. Going through something like that now and it's a booger, but it does pass.
2006-06-12 23:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now im going through the same thing. so i know how you feel.
2006-06-12 23:06:03 · answer #9 · answered by portia2k2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no I get enough attention from my wife
2006-06-12 23:09:05 · answer #10 · answered by Ronnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋