how young is too young for marriage?

Question

my boyfriend asked me to marry him and i am only 16 he is 17. he said that we will wait till i finish high school which will be 2 years when i am almost 19. i love him a lot but people say we are to young to know what is best for us i need advice. even though we won't marry till we are older is this to young to make a descion like this?

Answer 1

If this is what you feel you have to do, then we all know you will do it despite any advice not to. By everybody saying you aren't ready, it makes you want to rebel anyways. My husband and I have been dating since we were 14 & 15 years old. We got engaged during our first year at college and agreed to not even set a date until we had both graduated and had full time employment. We sat down and set a date shortly after we got out of college and got married 1 year later at age 23. We figure if we stayed together this long throughout the pettiness of highschool, the temptations of college and the stresses of starting new jobs in the workworld that we've got a pretty good start on a happy successful life together. Also, consider the money aspect...my parents wouldn't have helped me with college if I were married. Marriage means independence from family, you depend on your spouse. If you can't do that yet, maybe you should consider waiting. Sit down with your guy and discuss "real life things" such as do either of you intend to go onto to school? If so, how will you pay for it? Where is your money going to come from? What kinds of jobs can you get and how much to do they pay? Is it enough to pay the bills? Do you both have reliable transportation if needed and if not, how will you pay to get something? Where will live and can you afford the rent? If money is tight, you are going to have to go without things you may be used to such as eating out, going to the movies, shopping trips, road trips (gas is expensive), and the list goes on. If none of that is a problem for you...Congratulations and I wish you much luck. Just look at all angles of the situation before you make a decision and don't let people outside of the relationship pressure you...in the end, you guys have to do what is right for the two of you.

Answer 2

well, for some people 45 is too early, for others 15 is the right time. it all depends on u and how u feel. waiting till u graduate is a great idea. this will give u both time to mature, get to know each other even more and all that nice stuff.
getting engaged doesn't necessarily mean getting married. at any point in time u can decide that u really r not ready for it. that's what's good about being engaged, it can last for quite a long time.
the only advice i have is don't overlook ur education. i've heard of many girls doing it and they regret it cuz it's really hard to go back to school once u quit.

Answer 3

You are way, way, WAY too young even to consider getting married. At 17, he has absolutely no experience of life. He's never held down a real, career-oriented job, for example. He hasn't started, let alone finished, college, and forget about grad school, both of which are essential if he's going to fulfill his dreams of independence. He doesn't even know that he has these dreams yet, but he does have them. Getting married now - or even two years from now - will absolutely and irretrievably destroy your lives.

Almost 60% of marriages - that's nearly 6 in 10 - ends in divorce. About 80% - 8 out of 10 - couples who marry before they are 20 get divorced.

I promise you, if you get married you will absolutely regret it, and you have no idea what kind of misery it is to get divorced. Do NOT get married. Break up instead. Be apart for a while, experience life, have other friends and dates and partners, and see what you think down the line.

Answer 4

I suggest you look around first. Don't be hasty to make a decision. Be open to choices. Best to wait after 21.

I've seen a lot of couples got married before 21 and are suffering with family commitment and finances, ending up in divorces because they weren't ready for the responsibilities. The children are the ones taking the consequences of the divorce.

Just wait and take time to explore your choices as well as to experience life. By the time both of you are ready for marriage, you will both appreciate each other better.

Answer 5

12

Answer 6

My best friend was engaged when she was 16. She finally decided that she was going to at least wait until she was of legal age to drink the wine during toast!!!! She's almost 21 and they are still together. They totally agree waiting was the best idea. Just wait and make sure this is right for you and you understand the responsibilities of being married. Also talk to your parents. Once you are married they may say that your his wife now and he has to take care of you financially. Are you both ready for that?

Answer 7

A lot can happen in 2 years - but in 2 years if you both still love eachother and are ready to get married then go for it. Getting married young isn't wrong, just make sure you know what your getting in to. Marriage is tough and you are vowing to be with just him for the rest of your life - through college, through the good and the bad. It isn't easy - but if you are both committed it can work out. Best of wishes with whatever happens!

Answer 8

I don't believe it's about age, it's more about maturity. I married at nineteen but my husband and I were more mature than most nineteen year olds. I had gotten pregnant right out of high school (I should have waited to have sex until my wedding night) and was holding down a full time job, going to junior college full time, trying to save my relationship with this man that was acting more like a boy, and trying to figure out I was going to pay for diapers, formula, childcare, food for me, clothes (me and the baby), rent, the list goes on and on. Well, I miscarried at 12 weeks but I grew up more in those 12 weeks than I did in the 18 years leading up to it. I then joined the Navy and went through boot camp. I met my husband in A-school (training for our jobs). He was a Marine and prior to that he was a wild-land firefighter. We weren't your average 19 year olds. We didn't get drunk or go to clubs. We grew out of that childish behavior. Most importantly, we put the other person first. We got married quickly and have a wonderful marriage and I'm pregnant with our second child. Are you ready to give up partying and girl's nights out? You aren't a normal 20-something-year old when your married. All your friends are talking about the hott guy they hooked up with and you and your man haven't had time to hook up between work and fixing the hot water heater and paying the bills. It's a big sacrifice. If you are both willing to make than all the power to you. If you are unsure than remember, if he loves you, he'll be there when you are ready. Go to college or join the military and enjoy being young. Just remember, if you have any doubts, then don't do it. Good luck and God bless.
If you want to talk, you are more than welcome to e-mail me.

Answer 9

I believe this way to young 25 years it's young bUT o.k. but make sure you have an education and make sure you will be able to understand each other. b ut make sure he didn't make ask you this just so that he can get you into bed boys use these types of tactics to get what they want pray girl for god to give you the wisdom to handle this boy maybe you should go away for the summer do you have family in a different state and have fun ask your parents to send you to your aunts or grandma's, perhaps a family friend but try it and I know you will feel lonely at first and maybe not eat the first day but hey you will have so much fun after 72 hours believe me and you will thank me some day....

Answer 10

yeah it is. im going to be a senior in high school in the fall and i have to say i have 2 or 3 friends that are getting married soon and they have been engaged for a while. they arent and u will find that ur will have given up the fun of being a teen and learning about dating. i know how it feels for u to think ur in love. i mean yeah divorce these days happen alot but u need to think about college and the oppertunites for being independant. answer this to ur self and think ahead in the future. are u really ready to settle down with someone out of high school and do u really love this person or is there more out there for u?.. good luck with ur decisions