A polite way to tell a co-worker?

Question

I have a co-worker who confides in me about problems with her husband. I can't think of a polite way to tell her it's none of my business. She's a really great person to work with, but I don't feel it's appropriate to discuss these matters with her. I just don't know how to tell her. Any ideas?

Answer 1

well first off...there's no such thing called a polite way...you don't have to worry about that...as long as you are clearing a point that is making you UNCOMFORTABLE then it's totally OK...cause in the end you don't wanna have to deal with the same thing that is bothering you each day at work...right!!!

tell her what you just wrote to us..."that you don't feel it's appropriate to discuss these matters with her"...see, I'm quoting you! there's nothing wrong with that...cause you are totally right..cause it is none of your business...you can tell her that you really feel uncomfortable and that you know she's a great person and that she would understand!

believe me it might not be a big deal as it seems :) you are not being not nice...you are being diplomatic!

Answer 2

Is it something she talks about incessantly...if so I can see why you would feel that way. If that happens, try to gently change the subject whenever she starts talking about it. However, if she doesn't do it all the time, it might be best to listen.....we all need a friend to confide our problems to in life. Also, it's not inappropriate to talk about personal problems with coworkers. By chance, are you a stay at home Mom that just entered the work force and is unfamiliar with how coworkers comfort one another in their times of need? There will also be a time when you will need her to console your problems to. I had that happen once and was glad I never turned the other person away. She in turn was there for me when I needed her and now we are best friends. Remember, what comes around goes around.....that also includes the good deeds in life, such as listening and giving others our shoulder to cry on for comfort, especially at work. It is no different than any other setting in our lives. No offense intended, but us people down here in Texas aren't like you; we confide our problems to one another and comfort each other. I'm so glad we're like that.

Answer 3

..now that you have listened to this a lot[ i guess] , you cannot make your point in "another context".
Pretty much the only thing you can do is, as soon as she start talking about this , tell her something like, "hei! did you see Google Earth ?Its awesome!"
Take a topic you like the most.
Plus i really appretiate your outlook to this situation.Most people lend their ears, and would probably suport what she is saying, without knowing the other person's situation.This would only help to add fire to the situtation.
Its better not to add fire, as long as you dont prefer a Jesus act.
But if you are in the top position[and have a good environment profile], compared to her, it would be really great if you could bring an end to her problems.

Answer 4

I work in the Air Force and have been in for two years. The ratio is 10 to one over here in the career field I have. When women talk to me about personal problems, I will listen. If you strongly feel that this is none of your buisness, or makes you uncomfortable, calmly tell her "Y'know...(name) I really don't think that I'm comfortable discussing our personal lives with one another." This way, she will know to back off when speaking to you about her personal life. If she still does not get the clue, You must be straight forward. Everyone always says, just tell her how you feel. But that could lead to difficulties later at work. When men talk about their private sex lives in front of me, or a female Airman I talk to tells me "more than I need to know" I always tell them "I appreciate the fact that you confide in me, but I would really rather not talk about our personal lives at work." These really are the nicest ways to tell her how you feel without being hurtful or blunt.

Answer 5

I believe you can tell her, "I would love to help you in any best way that I can, but I'm afraid that I'm not an expert in this department. Would you like me to find someone who's the right person and who's able to provide you with an additional information and assistance?" I don't think that this will be a rude way to tell her, it wll show that you're still concerned but would like to find someone who's a little bit more experienced in this area (even though you are already an expert). This way she'll be able to talk to someone else and you won't have to worry about anything else.

Answer 6

I would just say,maybe you should seek a theropist, that is more able to help you then me...after all iam not able to answer in the most part, because i feel this matter is much better talked over with someone that can give you positive answers, and i would say, I don't want any thing to come between us as working partners...

Answer 7

People confide in others 2 get a different perspective on the problem at hand.If you just can`t stand her tell her to bug off,otherwise be flattered that she trusts you enough 2 confide in you to begin with.It`s a social thing.

Answer 8

One day when she is going on about her business, look at her and say, _____, I am sorry, but I don't think it is appropriate for you to be telling me the things you tell me. I would prefer that I not be involved.
If that doesn't work, tell her that you have your own problems that you are dealing with at the moment.

Answer 9

I think you are a nice person and I really like working with you but I don't want to hear about such personal things. We should change to a subject we both feel comfortable with.

Answer 10

aww poor girl... well, be like, "since I really don't know your husband, i don't feel comfortable talking about him", or something.
Even better----

Interrupt her in the middle of a story and be like, "girl, just talk to God about it and it will smooth out." Then get up-beat and talk about something else or get busy doing something else.