My four six year old....?

Question

Is going to second grade next year. He is short for his age and is afraid kids well laugh at him because he is short. Mostly all his friends are taller then him. There is also a bully that always makes fun of him. The bully is bothering my son everyday. He hasen't hit him yet. My ex-husband (his dad) said to take his pocket knife with him so if the kid tries to touch him to stab him. I took the knife away from him and told him that if he hits him defend yourself. I put the knife away. Today he came home from the park with a bruise on his arm. The kid was at the park and him and my son got in a fight. I grounded my son for fighting but the other kids parents don't know that there son beat up mine. What do I do so he doesn't continue getting my kid in trouble?

My bad. I mean my six year old son.

My son can fight. He has a purple belt about to go to black. He can fight really well.

Answer 1

I m sure you aready have but sit down with him and explain that all this bully business is all part of growing up. , and tell him what a surprise that bully when first day after summer break if he goes to school and he grew 2 inches taller than the bully. Could happen. Tell him to tell the bully next time " Look, I m only going to give you one more chance to stop. Then I m sorry but his mom will have to go and talk to his parents and the principle. I m sorry but I won t be able to stop her."When he grows taller the bullies of the world will always find something else to torture about. The color of your hair or what you wear etc. It is the bullies that do not feel good about themselves so they put down other people to make themselves better. Hold your head high. Oh, I hope your ex stays your ex. Is that man nuts. What a jerk.

Answer 2

I have found in my experience with children ( and being bullied as a child) that the only way to deal with a bully is to stand up to them, however in these days bullies are no longer bullies they are are bombs waiting to explode. I would find out who his parents are and inform them about what their child has done, if they are decent parents then they will discipline their child. If it happens again call the police department and report him, things like this are taken a lot more seriously than they used to be, I think with Columbine etc, the police and schools just do not play anymore. Good luck, I hope that your son is ok, he sounds like he wants to do the right thing. Oh, and good parenting on your part in taking the knife away, you do not want your son being put into a situation where he does something that he will regret forever ( watch the movie Pay it Forward, you will see what I mean, there is scene in it where someone is being bullied and the bully regrets what he did from the minute it happened.)

Answer 3

I agree on the knife -- just having it at school can get him expelled from the school district and you'd be stuck trying to get him into another district or private school. I'm not exagerating...read your school guidelines.

I would seek help with your school principal and teacher before approaching the parents...they may know of other situations that this bully has be into -- or his situation at home. If the fight had happend on school grounds -- or ever does -- you should run to them to make sure they know. It should be noted in the bully's school record -- but they can only do this when it happens on school campus. For next year, you are well within your rights to request a different classroom.

Good luck...you are being a good parent by staying involved and trying to help him.

Here's some advice posted on Yahoo! Education:
You'll want to have a discussion about how to handle bullying situations and warn your child never to resort to violence, even as a reaction to a bully. Stan Davis, a Maine school guidance counselor and trainer in bullying prevention, advises encouraging the majority of students who are not victims or bullies to stand up to bullies, to ask adults for help and to reach out as friends to isolated students.

You may be tempted to intervene by confronting the bully and his parent yourself, but most experts advise against doing so. If you confront the bully, you will only verify for him that your child is a weakling. Many bullies come from homes lacking in parental involvement, so confronting the parent might not prove productive. Besides, it will probably be difficult for you to talk to the bully's parent in a calm and rational manner and that might only exacerbate the problem.

Your instincts may tell you to let the child learn to handle the situation himself, but in actuality he may need an adult (either a teacher or a parent) to intervene when bullying takes place because of the imbalance of power. Alert your child's teacher or principal when bullying occurs and work with your school to make sure the atmosphere is safe and that there is effective monitoring. Ask to be notified should your child be involved in a bullying incident. To really know what goes on at school and to help create a positive atmosphere, volunteer to be a playground supervisor or a classroom assistant.

Answer 4

I would try and talk to this kids parents. If they are unreasonable I would go to the school and put them on high alert about this other kids behavior. I am glad you didnt encourage the bringing the pocket knife to school. I have had to deal with similar situations because I have two daughter who go to the same school it hasnt been too bad. They are not the tallest kids but they have had to deal with bullies and I tell them not to encourage the situation with needless words however if they put their hands on them they need to defend themselves to the best of their ability. Unfortunately kids like this dont understand how it feels to be bullied until someone puts them in there place. I dont like to encourage fighting but I let my children know that sometimes it cant be avoided and that if a person knows your weakness they will exploit it. I also tell them to let an adult know whats going on as soon as possible in case they are suspected of starting something. This type of behavior no matter how hard you work to avoid it will not be avoided but you can teach your child how to handle situtations like this early on. Just be patient and encourage him to make good decisions and keep the school involved and this other childs parents informed.

Answer 5

Usually there is no tolerance to violence in most schools. My son also experienced a bully at school because he was 'different'. What I did was I talked to the school principal, councelor and teacher. I let them know what was going on and that I was not going to tolerate it one bit or I would have to go further. It is their responsibility to make sure ALL children are safe at school. Then I took time to go to school one day and sit down with my son and his classmates. I seemed to draw their curiousity. A few talked to me and I let them know that I was his mother and that my son was unique but not to be treated differently. Part of it IS the teachers presentation to the rest of the class, and part of it is the childrens natural reactions. I also had my husband show up in uniform (a US soldier) and be there for a few hours. My son showed off his dad and his Dad stated he would be there for his son (in a don't mess with my son tone). After awhile my son had no problems. I had to keep talking to my son and teachers and make sure no one did anything while no one was looking. Eventually all was good. Never did I tell him to pack a knife(it is against the law) , but I did tell him to defend himself. They should never sit there and just get pummled. However he would never start a fight and we would talk about not instigating or starting fights and what defending yourself is. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

Answer 6

Good that you took the knife away. I would talk to the other boys parents. They may not know his son is a bully. I'm sure that if you let them know the situation that they will get him the help he needs. You should teach your son to stay with groups of friends while playing, bullies stay away from groups of children. If anything, go with him and keep an eye on him, fighting can lead to serious trouble.

Answer 7

Talk to the school and enrol your son in self defense classes. If your child is beaten up again I would go to the police. It is assault and if it was an adult, charges would be laid so why not for kids. Maybe the police will shake the bully up enough he stops being a little ****

Answer 8

Tae Kwon Do classes helped my son out with bullies at school. I told him not to tell the bullies that he had taken the Tae Kwon Do classes (he didn't). When the bullies tried to pick on him- were they in for a surprise! My son was able to defend himself successfully.

Answer 9

Did he start the fight? If not, I'm not sure how it makes sense to tell a child to defend himself, and then ground him for fighting.

How did he do in the fight? There is a chance that the other kid will never want to mess with him again if he is good at fighting.

Answer 10

well in the 2nd grade i dont think kids will pick on him they might but i doubt it just reasure him if anything does happen and they do pick at him for him NOTto fight but tell the teacher if that dont work go to the principal
fighting isnt the answer its the cowerds way out