What are some of the problems associated with dating people who are significantly more wealthy or less wealthy than you?
2006-06-12 10:04:36 · 16 answers · asked by Sessie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Some problems with dating people from different backgrounds are:
Going Out: If you are accustomed to going out and having fun and your date can't pay their way and you want them to go, and you are comfortable with paying, that's fine except at some point they may resent you paying for them all the time.
Gift Exchange: Anniversary rolls around--you get him an MP3 player, he was too embarrassed to get you a card, even though that was all he could afford OR he goes into credit card debt to buy you the necklace he knew you liked. You don't want him to go into debt!!! but, you certainly can't return the gift w/o insulting him.
Money Sense: She learned about money from her parents, so even if she improves her station in life she may spend it unwisely and therefore be poor and make you poor.
Stability: People in different stations have different comfort levels about money--some people need retirement funds in their 20's to feel safe and some people spend every dime every paycheck.
Forever After: It is really about if each partner is okay with the other one being the way they are. Maybe she is of a lower station and wants to stay at home and take care of the kids and the higher-station man is okay with that. Maybe he works for $6/hour doing what he loves and she pays the rent with her executive salary. Whatever it is, it has to work for both people.
2006-06-12 10:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by elietzen 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Typical problems regarding the money issue are:
* one partner pays for both all the time
-> (slowly developing) expectation that who pays makes the decision
-> (slowly developing) expectation that the richer one has the money, so they should spend it without the poorer one developing responsible financial habits
-> the poorer one starts to resent the riches of the other
-> embarassement regarding gifts and expectations about what is a "real" gift
-> trust issues might arise, like "is it in reality the money that attracts the poorer one?"
* only cheap entertainments both can easily finance are acceptable
-> resentment on the side of the richer one because they give up so much for the poorer one
=> It is very hard to find a balance between giving and accepting without unconsciously developing certain expectations.
If you are talking social station and not only financial station possible issues are values.
* What is more important:
- Money or education?
- Honesty or politeness?
- Connections or merits?
* How important is religion for you?
- Can you accept that your partner may not share your religion?
All of these differences can be overcome, but they can be as well a major stumbling block for a long-term relationship and can undermine trust.
2006-06-12 18:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by ab1609 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough question. I've been on both sides with the same person. I'll explain.
My partner comes from an economically disadvantaged background, but except for being extremely frugal with money, there isn't that much tension about any "class tensions". His family is a litle bit on the trashy side, but for the most part, they are nice people.
My partner and I make the same amount of money, although he has more expendable income than I do because of my debt load. So sometimes he'll want to do something, and I want have any money, and he gets upset because I'm broke.
So there you have it.
2006-06-12 17:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money doesn't make anyone any better than anyone. I would date a good woman if she had little or a bunch of money. In this case money is just green paper. IN THIS CASE! Otherwise, it can get a lot for you and if I ever got wealthy, then I would spend it on alcohol most of the time because I am never satisfied. Can't get enough of it.
2006-06-12 17:09:28 · answer #4 · answered by Nickname 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you date or marry those more wealthy than you their family and even they will look down on you.
If you marry those less wealthy than you, you will have to help them and their family out all your married life.
2006-06-13 12:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR STATION?
Like that makes you "more" of some body, if you have more money? Do you think your more IMPORTANT, if you have more money?
Not to me you arent!
If some one dated some one with more money than they have, and the person looks down on them, then I would dump them within a heart beat!
Its said that a rich man will have a harder time entering heaven as the camel will, passing through the eye of a needle..(paraphrased)...
So, when the chips are down, and Judgement day comes... Your riches wont save you one bit!
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-06-12 17:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
one of them is believing that someone who has money etc is better than you......major problem. another is thinking that someone who doesnt isnt good enough for you.... hmmmm. and another thinking along the line that ther is "STATIONS" its whats in their hearts not their pockets that counts so they only real problem if 2 people of different "station" as you prefer to say are happily together the only problems will occur socially with the people in both of your lifes who dont realize what you have..i dont know...s t a t i o n s .......hmmmmmm...
2006-06-12 17:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by uniquebutsweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't feel there's a problem unless the difference is so extreme that your differences in background/upbringing make it a challenge to connect.
Society may have a different answer, though.
2006-06-12 17:10:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There can be issues either way you go if one partner is slightly uncomfortable about the situation.
Also- the wealthier persons parents can be a royal pain!
2006-06-12 18:33:32 · answer #9 · answered by bronwynstanton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No problem as long as you love the person and willing to sacrifice everything and anything for being with him or her-
2006-06-12 18:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋