How do you get a 6 year old to follow rules and listen?

Question

I have tried timeouts, grounding, yelling, taking things away and even spanking. Nothing has worked as of yet.

Answer 1

Have you been consistent with the punishment? Or do you often let things slide. Everything a child does is a test. Children thrive on having boundries and rules. Step back and look at this from outside the situation. You may be looking at this from a defeated point already. You need to take a breath and tighten the reigns. Don't yell or scream. Don't fight with the child. If you have really been consistent and nothing worked then there may be some type of illness with the child. But don't jump to conclusions about ADD and stuff like that. Don't be quick to put your child on medication. Sometimes the child needs you to show them that you really and truly are the boss, not their friend. The child will have plenty of friends growing up you need to be the parent. Be stern and strict. Don't give in because the child whines or because they shed a tear. Be extremely consistent in punishment and don't give up hope. You need to have a stronger will than the child. Break the defiance without breaking their spirit.

Answer 2

My boys are 7,6 &2. I have them all "trained" I warn them once and only once. If they don't listen to the 1 warning, I put them in time out in the corner. They STAY there (even my 2 yr old) until I tell them to come out. When I first started the 2 yr old would kick and scream and run out of the corner. I would let them get 2-3 feet away from the corner and then I would grap them and put them back (The first 2 weeks I did this like 100 times) The first time I would put time in time out I would tell them what the did wrong and tell them that bad behavior must be punished. After the first time I wouldn't say anything else, I would just move them back to the corner. With my older boys they have 2 additional punishments. 1 is privledges (toys, video games, friends, swimming) are taken away, & 2 is additional chores. Their regular chores are feeding the dog, emptying the bathroom trash and bringing the laundry baskets to the laundry room. The addititonal chores are cleaning up dog poop from the yard, pulling weeds, dusting, and the worst one of them all is doing extra homework that I have pulled off the internet & reading books for bookreports. (Since it is summer break, my boys REALLY don't want to do ANYTHING school related)

Answer 3

Most of the time, behavioral problems do not come out of the blue. Often they are behaviors that have been allowed or enabled to a point that have simply escalated. Children will constantly push to see how far they can go before you crack and give in or test their will against yours. The key is to not cave in. If it means the kid sits in a corner all day, she/he sits in a corner all day. If it means going to bed w/o supper, they go to bed w/o supper. A child is not going to be scarred for life if they sit all day staring at the wall, neither will they starve if skip one meal. The hardest thing I have found is to draw the line and enforce punishment when it is crossed. Dont hold to it for a little bit because you feel bad for punishing them, you have to completely follow thru. My mother said once that it hurt her more than us when she would have to punish me or my sister and I have found that to be true. It is harder on me that it ever will be for my kids. Yelling doesnt solve anything. I have learned to take a step back, breathe, and tell my kids why I am upset with their actions or lack thereof. I have most recently had to take away all my girls' books as they were strewn about the floor for several days. They will get them back when they can demonstrate they can keep their room clean. I have had to do something similar with thier dvd's. Toys have gotten boxed up and taken out to the garage. They get all these things back when they can prove to me that they can take care of them. If it is a matter back talking, restrict activities. School and then to a corner. No tv, no toys, no playing. Sitting and bathroom breaks only. It will be harder on you, no doubt, but if you dont nip this behavior in the bud, your "baby" will be hell on wheels by the time he/she hits twelve. BTW: Have you tried simply talking about the behavior with him/her? A conversation so to speak (as much of one as you can have with a six yr old)....

Luck!

Answer 4

I found that repeating things at least three times helped. My daughter and son both responded well to telling them how they could have reacted to a certain situation, and sticking to the positive reinforcement worked better (such as put your clothes into the hamper - rather than : Don't throw your dirty clothes on the floor). I also physically used their hands to do the task asked of them. And instead of yelling, try talking very softly and firmly. Dale Carnagee wrote a fantastic book called 'How to talk to kids so kids will listen, and how to Listen so kids will talk.' It all worked for me until I got sick and was spending most of my time in the hospital. Try setting some time aside-15 min/day-just for your child. Play/Talk/Read/Cuddle - Just you and your child. 'Love time.'

Answer 5

You need to confine them... I know it sounds cruel.. but it is the only thing you can do at this point.. they can only come home and go to school. The can't go to birthday parties.. or after school activities.. let them know that if they can not obey the rules that they can not do anything.. no tv.. no phones... nothing... tell them that in life if you can not obey the rules this is what happens. when they do calm down a bit.. place them in an after school activity like cadets or something that teaches them to listen and be respectful.. you will see the difference.

I hope this helps

Answer 6

hmmm. if you have used these consistently(meaning during your trial you never deviated from the ground rules & punishments) then, seek help from a counselor & pediatrician.

set a list of "unbreakable" ground rules & punishments for their breaking, make sure your son understands them. Consistently go by the rules...don't let puppy dog eyes or tears let you deviate. Consistency is a huge thing. It shows them that #1--you are in charge, #2--right/wrong, #3--you care You have to be their rock, their port in the storm, and their foundation.

Answer 7

Ideally, you have been parenting this child all throughout these 6 years and they know what is expected of them. Is this child suffering from ADD/ADHD? Has something happened in this child's life which is causing this rebellion? Could it be that this child is in need of attention from you, even if it means getting negative attention?

Answer 8

... let me try this one ma
... what is the favorite thing that your lil' kiddo/princess love to play or stick with like; (fo' boy its a action figure and fo' a luvly daughter its a doll)
...first here give it to him/her, and secondly ask kindly the favor that your daghter/lil boy must do or behavior he/she must act ...the third one a place (place will be on the TV set channeled on cartoons)
... need some patience in here, hope it work

Answer 9

Remember to be consistent. Don't say "don't do that" and not follow through with what you told her would happen if she didn't quit; she'll learn you don't mean what you say.

Answer 10

Wow! I wanna know, too.That's the age of mine. I'll be watching this question closely.:)