My fiancée just had a miscarriage a week and a half ago, she was about 7 weeks along. My question is how do I help her through this? She is still very emotional and it seems like it takes everything out of her just to get out of bed and go to work. Is this normal that she is taking this so hard? I'm sad we lost the baby, don't get me wrong. I just haven't taken it as hard as she has. Please give me some advice to help her. Thank you.
2006-06-12 09:16:32 · 13 answers · asked by LOU 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Women are very emotional. Our whole lives and bodies are built around growing and having a life inside them. Most of us dream about having kids when we are little. That is just how we are. And I know men are just as excited about it (most of them anyways), but its so hard to try to express how you feel when you know you have another human being growing inside of you. It is a very very sad thing to lose a child. Whether it be by miscarriage, still birth, or worse, after the child has already been born. The best thing you can do, is be there for her. Let her know how you feel, and do your best to try and help her through it. It might take a while, and it might be tough, but she will be forever grateful in the end. And maybe after time has gone by, discuss trying for another baby after you are married. I know how stressful a wedding can be, and stress increases the chances of a miscarriage, so that is a possibility. But just try to be there for her as much as you can.
2006-06-12 09:22:25 · answer #1 · answered by nursegirljay 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She may be blaming herself. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and I am constantly worried that something I may or may not do might harm the baby. I am worried that I am a bad mommy before the baby is even born. She may also fear, as many women do, that she will never be able to carry a baby to term. She may worry that this is all her fault and perhaps thinks deep down you blame her too. I would look to your hospital to see if there are any support groups for women who have had miscarriages. Be willing to go with her. Don't be afraid to talk about it. Ask her to talk about it with her doctor so she can know she will be able to carry a baby to term at some point in her life. Other than that, just love her and make sure she knows she didn't fail. Miscarriage is often a form of natural selection. When the baby isn't healthy or it may not be able to survive outside the womb, it happens. I wish the best for you both.
2006-06-12 09:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by creativereading 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a miscarriage 8 months ago when I was at 7 weeks. My boyfriend waited one me hand and foot because I was so upset and he just kept telling me that we could try again. Now I am 9 wks pregnant and we have a healthy baby. Everyone has a 10% chance of something happening to their child. Tell her it's not her fault and good luck for in the future.
2006-06-12 15:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by morgan_loves_polina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though she didn't have the baby, she still feels depressed cause her body thought that she did, so she's probably going through some sort of post partum depression. Just be there and let her know that you are there for her. If she gets really bad, take her to a doctor.
2006-06-12 09:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by mampsies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is tough. I had a miscarriage and it was my first one too. I was 10 weeks pregnant. Anyway my husband was by my side through it all. He held me for a long time and just let me cry. It took me a while to get through it, but I finally did. Just be there for her that's all. Good luck to you both.
2006-06-12 09:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to answer, but then I realized I'm not a woman and only another women can answer that for you. Listen to those who had miscarriages, I'm confident that they know better than the advice any man could give you.
2006-06-12 09:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by tripforyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry for your loss. I too just went through a miscarriage. My advice is to listen, no matter how many times you've heard it. Help her out with everyday tasks and make special time to spend with just her.
2006-06-12 09:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by Pren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love, understanding, patience and time. This is what she needs. If it seems not to be any better after a few months she may need counseling. And that's okay, sometimes we need help working things out. Also try talking to a local church on women's counseling. They may be able to help her come to terms with it. Good luck and God Bless. Pray when all else fails.
2006-06-12 09:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by friendgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the biggest thing is to let her talk about her loss and the baby if she wants. I had three miscarraiges and no one wanted to talk, everyone pretended it hadn't happened. She had time to bond with the baby and its a hard thing to lose a child and harder to deal with the emotions and the physical changes as well as mental. I would suggest that you get her to therapy if she feels depressed.
2006-06-12 12:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by JAngel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her. Women take it so differently. Some have it very hard and others just make it through the day.
2006-06-12 09:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by River Walker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋