My friend who I have been friends with for about 12 yrs or more is married and has been for about 4 yrs. She constantly cheats on her husband and over the weekend she took me with her to meet this guy she was going to hook up. When the guy find out she was married he didn't want any thing to do with her and ended up giving me his number and telling me we need to hang out together so I should call him. Though on the way home my friend kept talking about how much she likes him but doesn't wanna separate from her husband. I really wanna call this guy and hang out with him but my friend likes him. So my question is should I call him or not. I really want to call him because I don't see how my friend can claim a guy if she is already married.
2006-06-12 09:09:58 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think its funny here how some people have answered as if you have control over whether or not your friend cheats on her husband. That's obviously a personal problem and nothing you can do about. I do agree that I would insist that she stop getting you involved in the situation, but I can understand that a friend is a friend despite what they do in their personal relationships. I think you should have a talk with her. Explain that you think this guy is cool, and that you actually wouldn't mind getting to know him yourself. That you feel as though this is one situation in which she owes you one. Of course, you need to see what his intentions are also. Could he be just using you to get her attention? Your friend has no dibs on this guy. She is married, so that makes him free game for any girl who is single. If your friend is going to let this come between the two of you, after all the information you've kept secret for her, then she isn't any kind of friend. If she's a cheater by nature, there's always going to be another guy available for her---one with less morals.
2006-06-12 09:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by cup_o_shina 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you need to have a talk with your friend. She shouldn't be cheating on her husband - if she wasn't ready for marriage she shouldn't have gone through with the wedding. I think you should tell your friend she needs to stop cheating and come clean with her husband. By sleeping around with other guys she's affecting their marriage and your friendship. Your keeping a secret that shouldn't be kept. I'm sorry that's just not fair to you or the husband! And I wouldn't call the guy right away. Talk to your friend and explain that the guy is interested in you and you are in him. And besides, she's married. She shouldn't be looking elsewhere for companionship. She should be faithful to her husband. And if she wants to be with other people then she should get divorced. She's keeping and using her husband as a safety net. This way, if she can't get anyone else, she still has him. Well, if he finds out, then she won't have him either. She can't claim the "other guy" as her's (like you said) because she is married. You need to CONFRONT this FRIEND of yours.
Good luck to you!!!
2006-06-12 09:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by kaije03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point # 1: Your friend has no business to cheat on her husband.
Point # 2: The guy is decent, hence does not want to hang out with the married lady.
Point # 3: You have a right to chase your dreams, and hence, you need to call up with 'decent' guy, and follow your dreams.
Point # 4: Tell your friend NOT to cheat on her husband very very CLEARLY, however, don't tell her about your feelings for this new guy, or she might take revenge.
Point # 5: Just get off this computer right now and call up this guy, fix up an appointment for the evening, take a beautiful shower, wear the best dress, and skid off for a lovely evening...
All the Best, Sweety!
2006-06-12 09:17:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, there at the end. Did he tell her he didn't want anything more to do with her or does she think there's still a chance with him? I feel sorrow for your friend's husband. How do YOU feel about your friend's infidelity? How would she feel if her husband decides he's still got some wild oats to sow?..... How would you feel? Reason I ask is that whether you pursue this relationship or not, and you sounded like you might..., let it be your decision. Don't let it be because your married friend wants a piece on the side. Don't be her enabler by backing off what could be a great thing....especially since the fact that you even asked this question at all shows that your friend's promiscuous behavior bothers you. Good Luck
2006-06-12 09:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to tell your friend that you don't appreciate her involving you in her dirty deeds. Tell her that you are going to call this guy (because YOU ARE), and that she should be happy for you. Tell her that's she's married and it's her loss. If she wants to be with all these guys, then she should just get a divorce already. Don't you feel even a little bit guilty knowing about her cheating and just letting her do it?
2006-06-12 09:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by SteffyAnne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's married why would you even want to have a friend like that. Call the guy if she has a problem with it remind her that she married and she should get back to her husband. If you liked the guy call him.
2006-06-12 09:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by BBW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your friend how she'd feel if you hooked up with him...although she doesn't really deserve to have her feelings cared for when it comes to relationships and cheating, I think it's important that you find out how she would feel about you hooking up with the guy...after all, it's not worth losing a friend of such a long time for a guy...
However, it seems to me that the only reason she's so into him is probably because he was hard for her to get...she's probably used to having every guy saying yes to her, but now that someone has actually said no to her because of her marital status, she's feeling more attracted to him...
But good luck & hope things work out for you
:)
2006-06-12 09:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by ♥WestlifeForLife♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing I have to adress is your friend's cheating. it's wrong and she has no hold on this guy. don't just sit there and watch her ruin her life. talk to her about this and if you have to, tell her husband. it's not fair to him or to the guys she meets. as for the guy you like, call him. but if he was going to meet your friend and he didn't know enough about her to know she was married, is he really the guy you want? call him but you'll be risking losing your friend. either way, the cheating has to end.
2006-06-12 09:21:22 · answer #8 · answered by nothingis_sound 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call him and go out with him. your not the one married. If she want to get upset then stop being her friend. If she takes it over board, tell her husband everything. You really need to give him some hints about whats going on anyway.
2006-06-12 09:13:02 · answer #9 · answered by Simmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call him, or your friend. If you hang out with your friend and she cheats, you are part of it. You are the same kind of person she is. You Should hang your head in shame. How do you feel helping her commit adultery against her husband? You really need a spanking!
2006-06-12 09:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋