How do you make kids stop whining all the time?

Question

whines about everything!!!

He is a my step son. I do not feel comfortable spanking him. He constantly disobeys me,whines all the time and lies.
(7 yr old child)

Answer 1

Don't listen to him when he is whinning. Tell him if he wants something then he has to ask for it like a big boy / girl!

Answer 2

First you make sure you don't whine! Seriously! Children pick up habits from adults so if you whine your child may do so... ex: I am so tired I just want o sleep, Everyone at work werent doing their job and i had to do it, etc. Second, you tell the child firmly, I can't understand you when you whine, please say it without whining and I can hear you; then you ignore the child until they say what they want/need. You may have to explain/role model what whining is because your child may not know the word "whine". remember it takes approx 2 weeks to change a behavior, so be patient and be consistant and firm.

Answer 3

This doesn't require punishment--just discipline (for you!!).

Wait for a good moment--not one when he is whining. Sit him down, preferably with dad, and tell him, "Johnny, I don't like it when you whine. I like it when you use your polite and loving voice. From now on, I'm not going to listen to the whiny voice, and your dad is going to help me. But since we're here having a talk, would you like to tell me how you feel when you whine?"

Now, when he whines, don't get mad--get sad (the emotions are chemically related in your brain, so it's possible--just think sad...how sad you are that little Johnny won't be listened to when he whines). Show him how sad you are, but DON'T listen and DON'T respond if he whines. But, you have to be on the game, and you MUST respond kindly and quickly when he doesn't whine.

Now, the second part of the conversation above is important, too. Johnny is a person with feelings, and he is whining for a reason. It must work--with you, with dad, or with mom. Maybe he whines because he's treated like a baby, or maybe because he's never listened to. Nonetheless, take his answer seriously, and make a commitment to him to help him not feel that way with you.

Now, if he pulls the whining stunt in public, prepare ahead. Before you go somewhere, announce to Johnny that you will need him to use the polite and loving voice. But take him somewhere that you can drop everything and leave the moment the whining starts. This will surprise him, but you will prove to Johnny that you mean what you say. You will have to do this several times. (Another variation is to have a backup with your or nearby, and when Johnny starts whining, you call in the backup, who swiftly removes Johnny and takes him home.)

Good luck!

Answer 4

Personally, I tell my kids that if they cant speak in a normal tone, I'm not gonna listen to them. Spanking does no good, neither does yelling. More than likely it is a reaction to a desire for attention or just to grate on your nerves and it sounds like its working. I usually give my kids one warning, two if I'm feeling generous and after that, I ignore them. I tell them that when they can speak to me in a respectable manner, I will be more than happy to listen to what they have to say, but until then I'm not going to listen and then I simply go about my business. If it is out in public, they generally get two warnings and on the third strike they are removed from the situation. Now, if memory serves you added in that he is your stepson, if his dad is not behind you, anything you do will fail. I would suggest that first off the two of you have a nice long sit down converation with him about his behavior. My oldest daughter is seven and I'm guessing if she could handle it, he could too. Tell him that such behavior is not acceptable and also, that until he can demonstrate honesty, he will constantly be questioned and second guessed. Punishments need to be layed out so that he knows what to expect if he breaks the rules. And dont hesitate to hold to the punishment. Look at it this way, if you dont stop his behavior now, it will more than likely only get worse. I would rather deal with a bratty seven year old than a 16 yr old a$$)(*&. Stop it now, or it will be much harder if not impossible later.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

I recorded the whining! I played it back the next time the whining started. She got so angry, she stopped for a bit. I kept doing it to her and she's starting to realise how annoying she sounds when she whines! It hasn't worked for every whining situation, but has been great for most!
Good luck!

Answer 6

The best thing to do is tell him if he wants something he needs to ask nicely, with a please etc...then when he does give him positive reinforcement, when he whines, ignore it. Don't give in to the whining or he will see that it works.
Set your rules and boundaries clearly for him, i.e
its' not ok to whine
it's not acceptable to lie
when he does those things give him a time out, one minute per year of age.

Answer 7

You probably don't notice but it's easy to get side tracked and not listen to you child. say you are cooking or doing the dishes and the child keeps calling you and trying to get your attention and you are trying to get something done. That may lead up to the child just trying to get your attention because you know when they are irritating you you pay more attention. Tell the child not to whine and try to listen more even when you have to do something. I had the same problem and this worked for me.

Answer 8

this is something i can not stand. when my kids were younger, i didn't let them whine or beg, at all. now that your step son is 7, the habit is there. and it's a bad one. i hate when a kid whines. you will have to train him out of that. tell him you can't understand baby talk when he's whining. tell him he has to talk to you like a big boy, then reward him for doing it.

Answer 9

These are three different issues, but since whining was the main topic I will address that one. All children whine...every last one. The best solution is to tell him that you can't understand anything he says when he talks in the whiny voice and if he wants to ask you something he needs to use his "big boy" voice. As for the disobedience and lying, those are separate issues and you did not go into enough detail in your question to address those accurately. You are welcome to e-mail me if you want to discuss them further.

Answer 10

Tell the kids, that they have nothing to whine about, that other children in other countries don't have half or nothing of what they have, and should be thankful for what they have, and not whine and complain of what they don't have or what they want.

Answer 11

You were a child once, this is what they do. You need to be understanding listen to them, they do not deserve huffed at because you've had it. that's not fair, all they can do to help you understand them is talk to you in the only way they know that you respond to them. Remember they didn't ask to be in this world. Through your actions they are here, treat them as gifts. You don't know how long you or your children are here on earth alive and well, so just love them and enjoy who they are. CALM DOWN, DON'T BE A JERK. BE A PARENT WITH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. LISTEN TO THEM AND BE HELPFUL.