Well im not his biological father he has never seen he's real father but i met him when he was 6 because i met his mother and we felt in love. He lived in the other side of the world but when his mother agreed to move away with me we took him too with us and i adopted him as my son. However i tryied my best to be a father since it was my first time, im really patient. Yep sometimes i had to slap him once or twice for rudness or sometimes i fighted with his mother (nothing violent). Well he has never been proud of me, he is now 19 and he still dosen't feel like im his father he never has, he has always shown rejection to me when i always loved him, is like if he has a deep inner hate against me or something i don't know why. Any suggestions?
2006-06-12 08:52:34 · 9 answers · asked by Lassy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you did the right thing by him, chances are, when he matures and has a family of his own, he will learn to respect you and appreciate your efforts. Kids are just generally rebellious and angry and they are going to attack your weaknesses, thus you not being his bio. father, but most out-grow this. However, there is always the chance he won't and you have to learn to live just knowing you did right by him.
2006-06-12 08:58:46 · answer #1 · answered by swdMO 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may be that he just doesn't trust close relationships with men, because he didn't know his father. However, you speak pretty candidly about "slapping" him and that may not have been your place. Of course he is gonna be upset when you fight with his mother, he was the "man in her life" before you. The bottom line is, you don't gain respect you EARN it so you need to ask yourself first why the relationship didn't evolve. You don't become a father by adopting alone, you become a father by nurturing, loving and genuinely caring for a child. You didn't mention any of that, but you mention hitting him? Sounds like we don't have the whole story here.
2006-06-12 09:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should never have laid a hand on him. Regardless of what a child may do hitting is not the answer. He may be holding a deep grudge for that. You need to let him know how you feel about him and that you love him regardless. You may need to apologize for your previous behavior. It is hard for kids in this situation. Put yourself in his shoes and look at things from his perspective. It may surprise you. If he still refuses to talk to you or give you anything then you need to just let him know you are there for him if he ever needs it and let him go live his life. He will return if he needs to.
2006-06-12 09:01:54 · answer #3 · answered by ghostlover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't meet him until he was 6, he knew that he was there before you, and was probably jealous that you took time away from him and his mom.
It is a shame that he wasn't told at that young age that you were his real dad - it would have made for a better lifetime relationship.
2006-06-12 09:00:22 · answer #4 · answered by Terri C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You slapped him around and fought with his mother and now you're wondering why this boy does not respect you. Sheesh!
2006-06-12 09:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't control how someone feels, or their emotions. All you can do is continue to love him and hope that someday he will realize that.
2006-06-12 09:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You beat him up when he was a child and want him to respect you? Good luck with that...
2006-06-12 08:56:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS. FIND OUT WHATS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD.
2006-06-12 08:57:28 · answer #8 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you marry him...
2006-06-12 08:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kiowa1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋