Im about to get married soon and I was wondering how to deal with people that want to come to ur wedding for free food and cake and good time, but never, ever invite you anywhere with them or never, ever consider you when they have a get together, or gathering or party. Am I wrong not to invite these people who dont give a durn about me?
2006-06-12 08:22:54 · 20 answers · asked by anshae2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You shouldn't invite them. If they arn't your friends then who cares what they think and who cares if they get mad.
2006-06-12 08:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by stmmay87 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Here is the general rule: You set an objective boundary and you stick with it. Your guest list should never tell the world who you like or don't like, who you approve of or disapprove of, who you suspect will misbehave at the reception, and so on. For instance, you can invite the 3 co-workers with whom you have lunch each day, but you can't invite 2 and exclude the other.
If these people are (as I suspect) relatives, it would be awkward to invite other people with the same degree of relation while excluding the freeloaders. However, if you have an extremely large family or a very small wedding, it can be properly done.
You invite "only our immediate family and our very close friends -- you know, people we see all the time" to the event. You use these words in explaining to the freeloaders why they are not on the guest list. Of course, it would then be dishonest (and perhaps dishonorable) to invite that distant cousin with whom you rarely socialize but who is known to give generous gifts.
2006-06-12 15:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok here's the thing. I had this same problem at my wedding.
If they aren't family, tell them that you'd love to invite them but space is limited and this is a family only event.
If they are family, you are somewhat obligated to invite them UNLESS space is limited. I would make it very clear that they are to be on their best behavior or they will be forcibly removed. Have some strong male family members sit by them.
You should only have people at your wedding that you want. Do not invite Freeloaders. A wedding is sacred. Invite only the people who support your beliefs and who will support you as a couple.
It's your day girl! Do what YOU want!
2006-06-12 15:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only invite the people who mean something to you. Don't feel obligated to invite people who might cause trouble, or who are simply coming for the free food and cake. And go the extra step of having someone who can be on lookout for those who might show up unexpectedly and expect to get in to the church or reception hall. Have them turned away at once! Good luck :)
2006-06-12 15:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't wrong not to invite these people. It's your wedding and you should be allowed to invite who you want.
But be prepared for them to show up anyway. Happened to me. An invited party replied that she and 7 other uninvited people would be attending my wedding.
We also had to tell one fairly distant cousin to her face that she was definitely not invited. She was trying to pry the information about specifics from my mom and saying she needed to book a hotel and all that. I had already forwarned mom that this woman was in no way shape of form stepping foot anywhere near my wedding (my dad and I don't care for her) and I'd have her tossed off the grounds if she showed up.
We did wind up inviting people that we didn't want to because it made his mom happy but we limited her to 6. I told him that I expected at least a $15 gift or check from each of them or he'd have to pony up. When they didn't, he did - lol.
Had to laugh about it or cry. Roll with it and try not to worry about it.
Congrats and have a happy life together.
2006-06-12 16:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a polite but "to-the-point" answer: Act surprised when they mention the invitation - say "I'm sorry, but I have already finalized my guest list. I didn't even think you would have wanted to go - I figured you wouldn't be interested in attending my wedding since you've never requested for me to join you at your socials."
2006-06-13 02:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by CuriousJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't invite them
A kid I worked with told me he wanted me to but him a DVD player for his wedding present
then he never even invited me to his wedding
some people just don't get it
2006-06-12 15:26:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mr nice guy 2U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that you are going to have an intimate affair with just family a few close friends. If they don't get the hint, then tell them that you already have all the RSVP in. That will keep them at bay.
Congratulations and good luck.
2006-06-12 15:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, you are not wrong to not invite them to your wedding...Just don't invite them...even if they come up to you and say..."don't forget me in your invitations!!!"...Just smile and just walk away...Don't answer the question...They are not friends, they are users and freeloaders...Only invite the people YOU WANT!!!
2006-06-12 15:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your day, only invite those that you really like. Why waste money on people that just want to use you?
2006-06-17 11:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by cassie12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them straight up
'you have never invited me to any of your gatherings so you are not coming to my wedding and eating my food and drinking my wine unless you show me the receipt for my gift and it better be EXPENSIVE'
say it like you are laughing WITH them not at them. say it like you are kidding with your best friend. they will get the picture and no one else will be the wiser for your smart *ss remark.
2006-06-12 15:30:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋