Christian thoughts?

Question

A friend of mine is gay and has been with his partner for 32 years.
Last week he had a heart attack and was in the hospital.
He was not expected to make it through the night.
The hospital refused to allow his partner to see him because he was not 'family'.
My friend died that night, and his partner never got to say good-bye.
Do you think the law that banned his partner from being there is right?
I'm totally at a loss...in more ways than one.

Thanks to all of you (well, most of you) for your kind words.

I am not confusing hospital policy with Christianity.
I'm asking for Christian thoughts on a hospital policy.

I feel SO sorry for Jen and Poetic.
Their interpretation of the bible has apparently hardened them, rendering them incapable of creating Heaven on Earth.

Answer 1

That is complete BS, IMO. I think if a person is going thru something like that, anyone who is taking care of them or living with them should be allowed back there. I don't care if they are family or not. I have been in the room with someone dying and I wasn't family (and I sure wasn't part of any church). yet they allowed me to stay. They need to change that policy that will allow ppl, such as your friend and his partner, to be there when they go.
I'm sorry for your loss.


Jen and Poetic - one thought... what if neither of you had any FAMILY but only a close friend and you were dying in the hospital. Would you then think it is right for the hospital to refuse your friend entrance to your room because they aren't FAMILY????? I'm betting you would have a fit. Both of your posts obviously made this out to be a Gay thing, while this was more about a person dying ALONE. I hope, in future years, you come to understand how low that really is to treat someone, just cause your religion doesn't like homosexuality. It is people like you who give your religion a bad name. You lack compassion and certainly have Never been thru any such experience or else you wouldn't have been so emotionless in your responses.

Answer 2

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and that of your friend's partner, I hope you are both are doing alright.

Secondly, I can't believe the hospital wouldn't let his partner to see him.Things at the hospitals where I live have changed a lot in the past decade or so. I don't believe that would have been done here. Are you sure it was a hospital rule or a law? Maybe it was just unsympathetic or bigoted staff...I don't know. Either way, it is not right. In the end, rules and regulations make no difference to the person dying and to impose AND enforce such a heartless rule is both unkind and unnecessary. Whether or not you're a Christian, humanity and compassion should always come first. God bless you and your friends.

Answer 3

Two different issues.

From a Christian standpoint, homosexuals are living in sin.

However, to me, the situation you describe is no different then a family friend of mine of which died of Cancer. She had no living family but all of her friends called her "Grandma." When she was in the hospital, the hospital would not let anyone in unless they could provide proof of being family. Finally, her "Power of Atterney" arrived and proved the okay for us all to go see her. We got to see her only minutes before she passed away.

This matter isn't a Christian/homosexual thing, it's merely a hospital policy only. It's one that needs worked on and changed but too many abuse the system making it harder on the ones who are trying to use the system properly.

I'm sorry to hear about the lose of a life and the pain caused to the partner due to the hospital policies.

Answer 4

Well you know the way i see it is that God made a man for a woman and a woman for a man and i think that it is a sin to be gay.God gives you the chance to be saved or not, the ones who choose not to be saved go to hell. God doesn't like having to send people to hell but it's their punishment. I don't think you be gay and a christian, yes you can repent and be saved and be forgiven of your sin but i don't think you can be gay and a christian. So as an answer to your question yeah i think that the rule was right because they never should have together in the first place,but also in a way no because of the fact thatif it were a girl and a guy that weren't married yet i would think that they should let them in the room together. But still gayness is a sin. I hope i helped. I'll pray for you. p.s. i really like jens answer

Answer 5

It's a complicated issue. Because in some states the gay issue isn't legalized, it might become rather difficult to decide who IS allowed to see a dying person versus who SHOULD be allowed.

In my thoughts, though I am against all homosexual actions, I feel that this partner should have had the PRIVILEGE to at least say "goodbye."

I mean, people should overlook the fact that this homosexual partner could have just been a "mere" best friend. Shouldn't your friend be allowed to MAKE the decision himself of who he wants to see?

In all circumstances, regardless of race, sex, religion, political party, or sexual orientation, I believe your friend's partner could have at least been approved to say goodbye.

Truly I am sorry for this loss and the way it turned out.

Answer 6

Regardless of whether one agrees or disagrees with their sexual preference, I think the law that banned your friend from visiting his partner is unjust and should be changed.

People should be allowed to designate one person as "family" -- even if legally the two are not married -- just for situations like these.

It's obvious your friend and his partner were committed to each other; and both your friend and his partner were robbed of saying goodbye to each other.

It's bad enough to keep someone away from someone so dear to them... and it's even worse to bar a suffering person in his last hours from experiencing the presence of the most important person in his life.

I'd consider it inhumane.

[Hey, AdamT -- I'm a Christian. Was this thoughtful enough, or doesn't it count in your book?]

Answer 7

why are you confusing Hospital policy with Christianity?
Christians did not make hospital policy State laws did. I am sorry for your friend and his loss I hope you are comforting him in his time of need. You can go to your state rep/senator about the laws to have them changed in the hospitals.
I am sorry for other Christains who are not mature enough to answer properly in such cases. Who try to push there agenda on an issue that is not a Christain issue but a law issue.
Messenger

Answer 8

Gay or straight, a "friend" can be closer than family. It's a policy that was most likely put into effect before this would have been an issue. I don't have to agree with the lifestyle to show compassion for someone. I am not their judge! (and I am a Christian!)

Answer 9

It was not until the last 20 years or so that that hospitals would let children under a certain age to see a loved one in the hospital, let alone if they were dying. I have had a best friend for over 30 years if he was dieing I could not see him.

Answer 10

Most states it's not legalized for gays to do so, but legally it would be right for him not to see him because he's not "family", although I don't believe in a gay relationship, morally I think that if someone is on their deathbed that you should be able to see them if you are close or have a connection to that person, but respectfully I do feel as though the family should see thier family first before anyone else does.