When my friend and I go out to bars or even double dates I feel that she always tries to monopolize all the attention. For instance if a guy is talking to me, she'll interupt and start tallking to him. I feel her personallity kinda squashes mine out (if that makes any sense) I usually wind up sitting there quiet while she talks. I'd rather not confront her. I wonder if she is being competitve with me on purpose? Any suggestions on how to deal? I used to not care but it's starting to get to me.
2006-06-12 04:50:53 · 23 answers · asked by jenniejbird 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we've been friends for over 10 years & she hasn't always done this just recently. We're also roommates so it's a delicate situation
2006-06-12 04:56:33 · update #1
Women are all very competitive. We are attention wh0re3$. We crave attention. We love to be the center of attention. We pay close attention to our hair, nails, and clothing to compete with other females. It is like we get dressed just to compete with other women.
The problem is you- not your friend. What makes her so popular? Don't confront her just because she has good people skills. She is not doing this on purpose....it comes naturally. If you can't beat her....join her. Follow her lead, you may pick up some pointers. Remember....always keep eye contact when initialing a conversation. Always keep a smile during the conversation. Show signs your are interested in they guy's conversation. Give some input...but don't take over the conversation. Men like women who listen. They find it sexy when a woman is not so self absorbed. Keep your confidence. Don't try too hard. Act naturally. Stay away from the fake laughs. Flirt. Don't let this get to you. Liven up just a bit and you will be fine.
2006-06-12 05:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by txchiflada806 2 · 6⤊ 3⤋
That makes a lot of since and I have heard about this an experienced it before. It sounds like your personalities just clash. She may or may not realize she is acting this way, but whether or not she realizes it, she is. Either way, this is just the type of person this girl is and there is nothing you can do to change her. Some people just desperately crave attention and will do anything (including hurting their friends feelings either on purpose or accidentally) to get it. I think that even if you do confront her, she will claim she doesn't do it or that she doesn't mean to (which she may not). She may try to change the behavior of you confront her, but chances are if she doesn't realize she does it, she wont know how to change it. You have 2 options, find another friend to go out with and hang out with her alone, or deal with her obnoxious behavior. But the bottom line is you can't change who she is.
2006-06-12 11:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel.
If you are close enough friends then you should be able to talk openly about it.
But then again if you feel she is doing this on purpose then don't go out with her.
OR
Speak up when she comes over!
I had the same problem!
She will either stop and be more aware of your feelings
or She will not be your friend anymore
Personally no man is worth a friend!
Good Luck ;)
2006-06-12 11:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by lovelyyounglady92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes a girl, and it sounds like shes an insecure one at that. for some reason, women tend to want to squish the egos of women around them, its a competitive jealousy. not all women demonstrate these traits, of course.
There are two ways you can go about this. you can talk to her privately about how you'd like to be able to have a conversation with a man without her interrupting and hoarding the attention, or you could wait until you're in that situation again, and humiliate her. When you're talking to a guy and she interrupts, just say "shut up, you wet the bed" or something like that, and watch her face turn red. Of course, if you're really her friend, you'll do the former of the two.
2006-06-12 11:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by strictlyrouge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should try doing is talking to her about it. Maybe she doesn't know that she is doing it. If she tries to understand then give her another chance. If she deny's it and pretends to not know what you're talking about then see if she keeps doing it after you pointed it out to her. It's probably bes to speak to her about it before you two go out somewhere together, instead of risking an argument in public where you will be unlikly to settle the problem.
If none of this works, then you should probably try going out to bars with another friend. Maybe this will help her get the idea that you really don't like her behavior.
Whenever you talk to her about this, be sure to tell her that she is your friend and you want to be able to enjoy spending time with her, and you would like it to be comfortable for both of you.
2006-06-12 11:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could mean no harm by what she's doing. It may just be her personality...Maybe she's not even aware of what she's doing. I'm willing to be she's a LEO....I'm a Leo and I've had friends tell me that they feel that I steal attention from them all the time. I take no offense to this b/c half the time it's something that I do unconsciously...I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean it. If a friend is trying to get your mans attention with negative intentions, then trust me, she wouldn't do it when you're right there in her face. She's do it behind your back...Consider that...
2006-06-12 11:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by mesofemme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's acting this way because she feels insecure around you. there's no other explination for it. She probably feels that you're more attractive then she is or have a more interesting personality, so that's why she acts the way she does. You should probably talk to her about it though, or else you will start buildidng anger inside of you and will eventually explode. Tell her how you feel and if she's really your friend she'll understand. =D
2006-06-12 11:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by someone_else 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all i fell ur frnd see u as a competitor.she belive that she is in a cold war wid u..No problem at all.Listen up just remember 1 thing she ve 2 legs and 2 hands so shell u..Adolf hitler Quote "Struggle is the source of all think,thous who dont want 2 struggle they dont deserve to live" So dont care u win or loss just fight.Prepare urself from now,practice urself how 2 preaset urself more better frm her,think U R a Fighter whos duty is to fight.and belive me very soon u will be the winner. Best of luck.
2006-06-12 12:15:20 · answer #8 · answered by Rohit S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She thinks she is hotter and oh so cooler than you. (Which is probably crap, right? :) )I had a girl that did the same thing to me when me and her went out, it got so annoying that I just stopped hanging around her. Or, you could try.. when she starts chatting up your dude and they get into a conversation, go to the bathroom or something, act like you got a text message, something that shows that you are not having fun, and she might get the point that you are annoyed with her, she might stop after that or it might give her more ego power, if she stops, she's a friend, if she keeps going at it, just walk away. Get another drinking partner. :)
2006-06-12 11:56:31 · answer #9 · answered by Goodbye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god... do we have the same friend??? An ex-friend of mine did that to me about 2 years ago... until I started to talk to the guy who would become my fiance. He looked at her like she was an idiot and told her to get lost.
Those kind of friends just need to be confronted. Or, if the situation calls for it, do out without her to find someone. You don't need that stress!
2006-06-12 11:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by Rock Goddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋