I have low self esteem, how do I try to raise it up so I can be more confident?

Question

For as long as I can remember, I've always had low self-esteem as a preteen growing to be a teenager. Now I'm 20 years old and I noticed thoughts and insecurities in me from recurring moments of my past. My husband of two years, tells me I am beautiful and special all the time but sometimes I can't help but feel unpretty and flabby even the more since I've gained some weight. Many people have told me I was pretty; I just accept the compliment and it never ceases to amaze me how low of a self-esteem I have! I just want high self-esteem for myself. I don't want to be conceited, but aware that I am not ugly or unspecial but humble at the same time. I've prayed about this several times and perhaps wish to seek counseling.

Answer 1

hi. I've had problems with low self esteem myself. I see that you said you prayed so you do believe in God, that is good. Low self-esteem is the devil's way of trying to keep you down. You can seek counseling there is nothing wrong with that. But before you do that, see if you can make a list of all the things that you are good at. All your strong points, then make a list of all the things that you are not good at and your weak points. Compare them, see if you can change the weak ones, or what steps you can take to make the weak points stronger. Praying is good, but you must also read your bible, start with the book of John and then go into Galatians. Get a revised standard version study bible. Believe your husband when he talks to you and says you are pretty. If you didn't have any strong points he would not have married you. He saw something in you that was strong enough to attract him, and not only attract him but also to want to be with you for the rest of his life. Remember, God is good all the time. He will never let go of your hand. I hope this really helps you. bye

Answer 2

Self-esteem is a concept reinforced for significant persons in our life. Our parents, teachers etc. If a child is motivated, recieve love and appraisal he will be self-confident. Besides, if a child is rejected, recieve critics, is humiliated and compared with others he will be an insecure person. You should analize your childhood and you'll see the roots of your low self esteem. Ask yourself if your parents reinforced your goals and your best characteristics, if they were constantly motivating you, or if they were hipercritics and if you were abused emotionally. First of all you have to accept yourself and you'll be able to accept the pretty things that your husband or any person can tell you.

Answer 3

you are too much self-centred, thinking about yourself all the time. worrying whether i am still pretty, is my husband telling me the truth, do people criticise me about my gaininig weight, etc. your only worry seems to be your physical appearance. if you are married for two years, and only 20 , what about the kids? you have conveniently not mentioned anything about it? what do you exactly mean by low self-esteem? that's because you are comparing yourself with other prettier girls, and feeling jealous and sad in your heart. you are also worried that your husband might look for greener pastures. he is bound to, even otherwise, if you do not change your attitude, and make him repeat like a parrot, yes dear, you are pretty, i love you. in his heart, he must be despising you for this botheration. so now it's the time to act. first of all, find out if you are at all good in any other areas, like house-keeping, cooking,needle-work, gardening, and looking after the house in general. your interst in these areas will give you satisfaction that you are also a good housewife, and not just another useless, decorative piece of furniture.talk to your husband about himself, let him feel important, and not a doormat. and if you don't want to look fat, work hard in the house itself. it will keep you fit, no need for expensive gym.s and aerobics etc. you could plan to have a baby, since already 2 years are over. it will bind your marriage and shift your centre of thinking, which is you, you and you, causing these self-created problems. i am sorry, if i have put the facts for you in a straight-forward way, you may call it an eye-opener!

Answer 4

You need some meditation and some kind of aromatherapy.Both are natural way of treatment.Meditation is best described as knowing one's self esteem and to build a confidential mind set.Nothing helps like meditation.Best time to do meditation is early morning.You can refer to any Indian sites for meditation,wherein it is briefly described.

Abt Aromatherapy,try to use good essential oils,these oils are extracted from natural flowers,plants and herbs.No chemicals added to these essential oils.You can use aromatherapy in two ways - One have a warm water bath with few drops of Lavender or Lemon Oil and immerse yrself in it for 15-20 minutes,inhaling the aroma of the oil. Or you can drop few driops of the above oils in hot water and inhale gently for 10 minutes.

If you practice these 2 ways,in just 15-20 days,you may recover atleast 50%.

Answer 5

Stop asking yourself such questions. I realized if I'm working hard, if I'm into something that makes me feel alive, such questions go away. Stop praying and do something for yourself. Go rollerskating, read a lot, there is so many things that you can do. Do drugs if you like it...no matter what! Just stop asking yourself such things.

Like once said: " All this moments will be lost in time like tears in rain!"

Answer 6

What ever happened in the past, use it to help someone else, don't dwell on it and allow it to control your thoughts about yourself. ...you need to realise that there are many people who do not have it as good as you and that by not recognising your blessings you are being ungrateful to your creator. He did not make ANYTHING ugly, but all of his creation is beautiful... do not throw His love for you back into His face.

Answer 7

It's all in the mind. It you think negative, you will feel negative. Be optimistic and do things that make you feel optimistic. Seek counseling too. If left untreated, you could end up in a depression. Seek help.

Answer 8

The advice on tattoo might not be a bad idea.

get the band 'the offspring' cd with the song 'self esteem' on it. I think you will relate.

Answer 9

Maybe try a self help book or two and if you don't receive anything from that then I would strongly recommend professional counseling. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

volunteer to read books to the elderly
or volunteer to visit dogs or cats at an animal shelter
confidence comes from feeling wanted or helping
others and not thinking about yourself. You are of
great value if you give of your time for free.