Should you get a woman's father's permission before proposing to the daughter.?

Answer 1

well i would say you don't have to although it is a gallant, chivalrous gesture, and it will get you IN a little better with your future father in law.

Answer 2

My husband didn't get my mom's blessing before proposing and my mom was thrilled that we got engaged. (My dad is not around anymore) It is very traditional to get permission, but in today's day and age not necessarily required. If you think it would be best given how traditional her parents are go for it. It is totally up to you.

Just some history because that's what I do and I'm a nerd.
This goes back to when women were more considered property (chattle) then human beings. At the time when a man asked a woman's father for permission, it not only announced intent of a suitor (or various suitors), it gave the father time to start collecting a dowry. It was common belief that a woman alone would not provide enough compensation for the new expenses a man would incur by taking her into his household. It was also necessary because until a woman was married she belonged to her father. He did not want to lose the opportunity to put in a good investment by marrying her well. So a suitor would need to ask permission to take a father's property. The father had the right to say no, in which case, nothing could be done.

Answer 3

I don't think it is something you have to do but it is a nice gesture and sign of respect for her father. The key is knowing the relationship between the daughter and the father. If they have a really good relationship then it is probably more important to ask the father for permission than if the they don't have a good relationship and the girl is more of a free spirit.

Answer 4

It depends on you, her and the father. I would personally be pissed off if the man i was with asked my father for his permission. I am 38 years old and haven't needed my father's permission for anything in quite a while. Other women don't have any problem with it.

Answer 5

How does the woman feel about this? Be guided by her wishes when it comes to her family.

Now let's suppose that you DO ask her father's permission and he says NO. Then what? Maybe you should be asking for his BLESSING instead of his permission.

Answer 6

Some girls like that and some don't. I don't like this so instead both of us set my father down and talked with him about it. It really is up to the girl. Find out what she wants, if you don't want her to have an idea (although you probably could guess if you know her that well) then ask the father it shouldn't hurt.

Answer 7

If I was a guy I would ask permission b/c I know I have a good relationship with my father, but if she doesn't have a good relationship with her father I suggest not.

Answer 8

Assuming your gf has a good idea that you are going to propose (and is eagerly waiting for it)...

Depends on:

1) How well you get along with him (Is he comfortable w/you marrying his daughter)

3) Would it embarass or upset your gf if you do (i.e. what's her relationship like w/her dad)?

If the relationship that you have w/her dad is good AND the relationship your gf has w/her dad good, go ahead.

If the relationship your gf has w/her dad is strained, ask her first. She will get upset if you ask her dad first.

If your have a strained relationship w/her Dad but she has a good relationship w/her Dad, it could go either way. Asking him first can show that you respect him (of course will grill you about your intentions for marriage).

Hope this makes sense....

Answer 9

Definately

Answer 10

Yes

Answer 11

I don't think it is a required thing but it always looks nice and shows respect for the father.