This morming, I spanked , (not serious) , my 4-year-old son for trouble he had made. After that he insisted on my apologize to him or I have to buy some gift for him. What should I do?
2006-06-12 01:56:54 · 42 answers · asked by Chinarose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would take him to get an ice cream or watch a television program and ask him why he felt why you should apoligize and let him know why you spanked him and be firm with the explanation and let him know what is expected of him so he won't in trouble again.
LC
2006-06-18 20:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by littlebit 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK, i have 5 kids all have been through the 4 stage but never have my children demanded an apology or a gift. They would get another spanking for being disrespectful.You are the parent and it is your responsibility to teach him how to be a productive adult. What is he going to do when he gets in trouble and he's arrested? Demand the court apologize and get him a gift ? Children need discipline and structure.If you do not stop this now you are going to be in trouble later. So my answer is no don't apologize or buy a gift. it is not your fault he was naughty he made his decision and for every action is a reaction and he needs to learn this.Best of luck.
2006-06-12 04:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by shortpplrule01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I might have suggested that you apologize if you'd flown really far off the handle, and had gone overboard, given his insistence that you apologize to him or BUY something for him, he lost any chance of that in my mind. If you let him control you in this instance, you'll have lost any chance to maintain control of him now, and when he becomes a teen ager.
He did something wrong, and was punished. While spanking may not have been the best choice, it is never something that should be paid for by buying a gift.
You should explain to him that you are the person in authority, and he cannot EVER give you orders.
Remember, you're the parent. He needs you to give him boundaries and to teach him right from wrong. He needs you to be in charge. You, he, and everyone he meets as a teenager and adult will regret it if you let him be in charge now.
IF, and I mean IF, you ever blow your stack and get more angry than is appropriate for some transgression, it is worth apologizing to him for losing control. In those cases, simply apologize and say, I should hot have gotten so angry. What you did was wrong, but I over reacted. I'm sorry for over reacting. Do NOT buy him gifts to make things up to him. That would teach him a very bad lesson.
2006-06-12 02:08:57 · answer #3 · answered by H W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not buy him a gift for being naughty!! If you feel that you were out of line then apologize. Other wise just tell him. "I spanked you because what you did was naughty, I am not sorry for doing it. I just hope that I never have to do it again. It made me sad too." Give him a hug, say I still love you and then talk about what he should have done to stay out of trouble. That is how I do it with my kids when I have to spank and it really isnt that often, once every other month.
2006-06-12 02:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT?????
are you the parent or your 4 year old?
He obviously don't understand why you spanked him. Instead of the apology, sit him down and talk to him and tell him why you did it.( which he should have known before you spanked him ) and tell him if he do what he did again that is what you will get a spanking. he sound like he has a little strong personality and if you don't stand you ground and be the parent, HE WILL!!!
2006-06-12 04:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by seeking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you shouldn't buy him something. Secondly, spanking a child is a form of discipline, and should be treated as such. He misbehaved and you took action as his parent. However, what should happen during a spanking, or should I say before, you need to let him know why he is receiving the spanking. Since he feels you should apologize you need to sit him down and let him know why he got spanked. Yes, let him know Mommy feels bad that she had to spank him, but you also feel bad that he caused trouble.
2006-06-12 02:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by tarnishedhalo85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT BUY him a gift. Then he will expect something from you every time he gets into trouble. Maybe not an apology to him, but did he understand why you spanked him. Maybe you should sit down and explain to him what he did wrong, but do it in a calm voice.
2006-06-12 02:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Linda K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. Your 4 year old misbehaved and you disciplined him. Now he wants an apology or a gift. Who's the parent here? You or him? You do not have to apologize unless you found out later that it was not him who caused the trouble. If this were the case, certainly, apologize. But if he did indeed misbehave, he needs to learn discipline. I'd also be explaining to him that you are the boss, not him.
2006-06-12 02:04:23 · answer #8 · answered by Garfield 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not buy the gift.Sit him down and explain to him why he got a spanking. Then apologize for spanking him,and let him know this is what happen with he is bad.
2006-06-12 02:02:06 · answer #9 · answered by otexasgina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, who's the parents here? It's you, isn't it? I'm pretty sure that if you son deserved a spanking, then you do not need to buy him anything, nor do you need to apologize. HE needs to apologize, he's the one who did something wrong. Be the parent and tell him what he needs to do, you're the boss, not your 4 year old son.
2006-06-12 02:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by jen_seemore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, no you shouldnt apologize. if he did something where he deserved a spanking, then it was right for you to spank him. he will let it go eventually anyways, but for you, especially to buy him a gift, thats almost like rewarding him for being bad...you shouldnt have to bribe him to for him to forgive you.
just explain that he was wrong in what he did and you were right, so you are not apologizing or buying him a gift. make sure you establish to him why you arent apologizing so he doesnt think it is ok to not apologize to others...
2006-06-12 02:03:09 · answer #11 · answered by BTB 10/04/08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋