My so-called best friend and I had a huge argument. Believe it or not I'm 35 and she's 34, though this is going to sound like teenager stuff. During the argument (thru email) I tell her that this guy she liked that I met when on a double date, later sent me text messages and phone calls asking me to hook up with him. I turned him down saying she's my friend. So she tells me that this guy I was talking to once online, was talking to her even after he found out she was my friend. I believe they had sex but neither will confirm. So I called the guy of her past who had hit on me and *ucked his brains out. I told him it was revenge and I hope he didn't mind if I used him, he said no and could he keep seeing me because he had always wished he'd met me first and wants more than just sex. I was astonished but I feel like I've taken my revenge just by being with him once, and I intend to tell her about it. I do like him and he's never been her boyfriend. But should I keep seeing him?
2006-06-12 01:46:27 · 16 answers · asked by Brandy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, I chose him because she really liked him. She wanted a relationship with him and he only wanted sex from her. It will KILL her to find out that he wants a relationship with me. Is that just TOO cruel or would it serve her right?
2006-06-12 01:47:23 · update #1
Did any of you hear me say SHE SLEPT WITH A GUY I WAS DATING FIRST!! Next time READ the freaking story properly before giving your advice.
2006-06-12 01:56:38 · update #2
You people are idiots. Not many of you really read the story and are making comments based on emotions. If she stabbed me in the back, how in the hell is it MY fault for getting revenge? I really could care less about the guy, he was just a means to an end. And I started out the story saying that it was TEENAGER type stuff, hence I KNOW it's childish. Can somone with some sense PLEASE give some REAL advice here! Goodness!
2006-06-12 02:07:57 · update #3
Wow, that is teenager stuff. However, i say you two shouldnt be freinds anymore anyways, your relationship seems to be who got who's man first? Thats not healthy. Anytime you do anything like that, her first, you first, whatever, you kinda send that message that "you really arent my friend and i dont care about your feelings" Tell her about it, if you want, and move on and find another friend, and if you want to keep the man, then go ahead.
2006-06-12 02:00:37 · answer #1 · answered by clubgurl1822001 1 · 5⤊ 2⤋
It is extremely childish for you to enter any relationship, especially a sexual relationship for the purpose of getting revenge on a former "best friend". If you are at all sincere about the one you are now seeing, maybe you should keep seeing him, but I doubt if he is sincere about you. How do you know if he wants more than just sex, if you have already given him sex and you are still not engaged to be married? Are you dating, socially and forming a friendship? What is he waiting for? Further, how could this guy possibly be interested in you for a long term relationship, knowing that you were using him sexually at the very beginning? You can tell your ex-friend and annoy her with it but I do not believe your rewards will be lasting. The question is will he keep seeing you and if so, Why? For more sex? Two wrongs do not make it right.
2006-06-12 02:02:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really shouldn't use your body as a tool like that. that is not right. it is very disrespectful to you, your body, and women in general to use you sexuality as a weapon. sex is meant to be between two people who care about each other, not flaunted, and abused, and used in a plot for revenge. you may all ready lose that friend if she really liked him and you went and did something like that. that is just wrong. One would think that a 34-35 year old woman would be above that, or at least have a little more self respect. you should be trying to find a good man to marry, that will take care of and support you. not out screwing anything that you think might help you get vengeance. that is wrong. grow up. show a little respect for you and other people. even if you don't care about yourself, and have such low self esteem that you have to go screw to make yourself feel more adequate, and needed, you still should show a little compassion for other people, and not use them like that. at least ask them if they mind if you use them before you do instead of after. you could cause some serious pain doing that kind of crap.
2006-06-12 01:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by my_name_is_what 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SENSIBLE!!!! just to get your attention there. i think what you did to your friend was a bit over the top, but it was all you could think of doing to make yourself feel better about the situation, so its understandable. i think you definitely should NOT tell your friend that you slept with the guy unless you find out for sure that your 'friend' slept with your boyfriend. if she did, who cares if you lose her as your friend? she stabbed you in the back! a true friend wouldn't do that to you. however, to actually answer your question, you should keep seeing him. it did start off as a revenge *uck, but so what if you like him. but if you find out your friend didnt have sex with your boyfriend, make sure you wont hurt your friend if you want to keep seeing this guy you *ucked. if you dont keep seeing the guy anyway, you should be honest with your friend and tell her what you did cos if you dont the guilt will be awful. (sorry if this answer is confusing, i couldnt think of any other way to word it) btw, it does NOT matter if you're 35! girls will be girls!
2006-06-12 02:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by swan_song 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think might good...she stab you at the back by having sex with your man before right?and if this guy she likes wanted to see you and know you more than sex..go for it...maybe it will work..nope its not cruel she deserves it she's your best friend but she done wrong and ruined your friendship.Go for it...see him as much as you want..after all he's free and unattached...there's a chance that the two of you to could become couple,
2006-06-12 02:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by effy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is to short to play games. "do what you will as long as it hurts no others." that is the moto i try to focus on when making decisions. if you don't like a guy for anything other than "REVENGE" you need to do a little self reflection now... is that the person you want to be? i would assume not. if your friend hurts your feelings over a MAN... one would have to ask themselves if she is truly a friend at all... i wouldn't want a friend that betrayed me. i wouldn't want anything to do with a MAN i thought betrayed me. go out and find a healthy relationship that doesn't involve pain for you, and others around you. be true to yourself and don't see the guy again... or your "friend" again... or the other guy again. it's never to late to start thinking about what is good, and right, and healthy for YOURSELF in relationship(s).
2006-06-12 01:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your the so called best friend. your not mature at all in fact im 20, a man and i believe im more mature then you...hows that possible? using people to get revenge on another isnt a nice thing to do and your now lose your friend...or things wont be the same anyway. if someone told me they only went out with my friend for sex id punch him in the ******* head. you have betrayed your friend more then once
2006-06-12 01:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by frostyg02uk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you're in the wrong for doing what you did. some relationships aren't ment to be. if you really don't like the guy you was with then just let her have her way with him. and you said you really like the guy she dated,as ling as you really feel him and are out of the revinge stage i say stay with him to see how things work. if she gets mad, she has the same cloths to get happy in. she doesn't have the right to hate on you
2006-06-12 02:19:50 · answer #8 · answered by kansasgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? You are 35? Did you pass English class? You lost me honey. Try using complete and full thoughts next time.
2006-06-12 01:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by april_hwth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously, r u 35????/??? also, do u REALLY think ur her best friend? u already sound cruel enough - you went so far to stab her in the back without even confirming that she's slept with him.... errrrrr, wow!!! i don't know who i'd consider "so-called" in this situation. honestly, i think your friendship's doomed (no thanks to YOU) anyway, but if she means anything to you, i'd stop acting like a 5-yr-old egoistic brat and give in at least now!!!!!
2006-06-12 01:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋