This morming, I spanked , (not serious) , my 4-year-old son for trouble he had made. After that he insisted on my apologize to him or I have to buy some gift for him. What should I do?
2006-06-12 01:24:22 · 16 answers · asked by Chinarose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
YOU are the parent - explain to your son that you won't apologize or buy him a gift for having to correct him for his misbehavior.
Explain - without letting anger into your voice or body language - that when he does something wrong you will correct him. Then tell him that if you do something wrong (punish him incorrectly) then you will apologize if you owe it to him. DO NOT let him guilt trip you into buying him gifts or apologizing for correcting him. Kids need boundaries & they need to learn the consequences of their actions & the sooner you teach him, the better he will be. You correct him for his own good, not because you like to do it!
Good luck & stick firm to your position - HE is the child, YOU are in charge!!
2006-06-12 01:31:16 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No gift! No apology!
You can certainly tell him why you felt the spanking was necessary and you can discuss possible alternative discipline ideas if that's your style, but you only need to apologize if you feel you were in the wrong or spanking out of anger. But even in that case I wouldn't give the gift. If he's like most kids he probably has too much stuff anyhow, lol.
I personally only use spanking for serious safety issues, but that's because timeouts work very well on my kids so far. You do have to use what works on your kids, and that varies from child to child. But you never want to let your child be the one in charge, and if you give in to his demands, then he will think he's in charge and you'll have more trouble more likely than not.
2006-06-13 02:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Home with the Kids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son did something wrong and you had to spank him for it there are no apologies needed! You are his mother, children today seem to forget that we are the adults not them! They think that they don't have to listen, have respect for their elders, or anything! They have become little monsters! And what bothers me the most about this is that the parents in courage them until it comes the time for them to be disciplined! Then the parents act like it is just to hard to handle! If they put their foot down to the children at the very beginning, the children will know who is in charge! He is only 4yrs old don't let him over power you! You let him know that if anyone is going to apologize, it will be him, because he was a bad boy! Children do not get rewarded for being mean, that only makes them worse!
Good Luck!
2006-06-12 08:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years old children shouldn't be getting that kind of punishment from parents. If ever he had done the worst thing a child can do the mother should still give love and time for him to know how should his reaction or behavior on cases where he is into. You should really apologize and tell him that you should both pray for you to be a good mom to him all the time. Loving, caring and understanding who will just teach and lead him to do good.
2006-06-12 09:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are so cute.
If the spank was in error for something that you misunderstood or something like that, apologize. (No gift!) Moms are human, too.
However, if your sweet little boy needed a spank, you have nothing to apologize for. Remember, kids are people, too, and sometimes THEY need to be corrected! ;) Maybe he should apologize and buy YOU a gift.
2006-06-12 08:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by home schooling mother 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spank him again.
You're the parent. If he did something wrong to warrant a spanking he needs to understand that that type of behavior is not to be tolerated.
Now he needs to understand that the world is not going to apologize either when he's grown up and on his own, and you're not going to in the meantime.
2006-06-12 08:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by J.D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child should never demand an apology. If you truly have made a mistake (like hitting him while trying to swat a fly) then you do need to set a good example by apologizing. But do not apologize for disciplining him.
2006-06-12 08:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has realised how people can hurt each other, do not appoligise, tell him that he got a smack cos he did the wrong thing, but maybe you could change your type of punishment now that he understands the concept of hurt, like time out( sitting at the kitchen table for a short amount of time) and ask him to think about what he has just done and how it hurt your feelings,
He now understand the concept of apologizing that is a very good thing, you are a great parent for him to learn that at a young age
2006-06-12 08:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by pinkiepruie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what he did. If he ask you to apologize sit him down and help him understand why you spanked him and apologize, give the kid a hug and he should be fine.
2006-06-12 08:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by baby_genius2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spank him again and say there is your apology. I had you. You didn't have me. What I say goes and if you don't like it take it up with God. I will apologize to you when I see that I am wrong and not before.
2006-06-12 10:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by charleedude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋