I know this is an odd question and I'm not trying to be funny. A friend who I love was in an accident ten years ago that killed his two best friends. He was driving and under the influence. He was punished for his behavior and has become one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. However, he still grieves and it interupts his life severly. I know if he could talk to people who have been in his situation or can relate to his situation, it would help him feel less guilty and heart broken. I've Googled and Yahood and AltaVistad for support groups but I don't think there are any. If any one can help in any way, I would appreciate it. Mostly I would like to find someone who has been in his situation and can be his companion in recovery. (sidenote: He is already in therapy but I think this will help him as well.) Thank you so very much in advance.
2006-06-12 00:02:02 · 8 answers · asked by sunshine_chagrin 3 in Cars & Transportation ➔ Safety
No, that is my luck
2006-06-12 00:04:25 · answer #1 · answered by rpshah1208 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I want to say how sorry I am to hear it is a VERY horrible Tragedy and Yes! I have. This year will mark 25 years since my father was killed at the age of 37 by a teen drunk driver. My brother 16 and I 15 at the time were the only 2 to survive out of 7. My father and the 4 in the car that hit us head on all passed that evening of November 14 1981 and to this day I have NOT gotten a phone call or even a letter of the parents or family members to see how I am. I have had my left hip replaced twice and looking forward to having surgery on my right knee because of it. Have had several suicide attempts trying to deal w/the past and the present but NOW I have a son who was born 20 years later and named after my father and he has brought a NEW meaning to my life. I would gladly befriend your friend and talk to him send email to deshfam01@yahoo.com
2006-06-18 01:04:09 · answer #2 · answered by Rick D 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When my brother was little, he was invited to go somewhere with several of his friends. He chose not to go, and two of his friends died and others were permanently injured. I believe it left him with what is called 'survivor guilt' and it is a good thing your friend is already under therapy.
I think that since then, my brother has missed out on many good things in life, due to untreated anxiety.
I myself was in a serious accident in which the car I was in was totaled, and I escaped injury in a manner I can only describe as miraculous. I reflect on it often, in wonder and in gratitude. Some people have objected, saying, "If it was so miraculous, why was your car totaled...?" But I think I am happier and a better person for being thankful. This does not mean that I feel nothing for the person whose car hit mine. But I recognize that I do not have the responsibility to make myself suffer to compensate that person.
Some people may have a need (not a responsibility, but a need) to compensate the other person, and we must be cautious to recognize the distinction between moral obligations and compulsions that appear so but actually come from other sources.
2006-06-12 07:13:58 · answer #3 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm so sorry to hear that. :( A lot of people make poor decisions when they're younger, and in your friend's case, it sounds as though losing his friends was punishment enough... (I think in most of these situations, that is true.) Usually they have therapy for victims of horrible events such as this, I think you can call your local hospital or physician's office. They generally have support groups. His therapist should have an idea of who in the area offers support to those who were "left behind." It is not uncommon for someone who survived what others didn't to experience feelings of guilt, depression, anger, and helplessness. Your friend is not alone. Try the link below, and see if it gives you some idea as to where to turn. Good luck!
2006-06-12 07:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by Tessa ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIrstly, I wanted to say how sorry I am, for what happened - and secondly, want to offer my help. I haven't myself directly been in this situation, but I think I can help a bit...I've volunteered with the local Fire/Rescue Service in my home town - and in my time, became a Road Accident Rescue specialist - and as a result, I've been to fatal accidents that have been caused by a range of factors. I've as a result, seen how people react and learnt to assist and support from an understanding viewpoint, having seen first hand the damage done and helped rescue victims...so at times, I've ended up helping people deal with it - both at the time and later on when they sometimes seek help (often by contacting us when we run road safety demos). I'm no expert, but I've had first - hand experience in the field and I've been in an accident myself where I rolled my own car - fortunately, noone else was onboard or hurt. I'd really like to offer what help I can - so if you and your friend would like to contact me at robforster15@hotmail.com, eithere by email or MSN messenger then I can happily help you out!
2006-06-13 01:42:52 · answer #5 · answered by Bert from Oz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. But I know of a few people that went through it.
2006-06-12 07:05:57 · answer #6 · answered by crutnacker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i'm sorry to hear that,and i don't know of any support groups,sorry.
2006-06-12 07:05:17 · answer #7 · answered by _ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-06-18 10:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋