Any Little Johnny jokes?

Question

They are so adorable and I totally dig them!

Answer 1

Johnny is sitting on a bus across from a beautiful busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.
The blonde realises he is staring and
inquires, "Are you looking at my p***y?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," says Johnny and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the p***y blows him a kiss.
Johnny, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder p***y can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the woman. Johnny stares in amazement as the p***y winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Johnny sits next to her and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Johnny replies, "Oh my god! don't tell me it can it whistle, too..."

Answer 2

The teacher is telling the class that she is going to call out a letter of the alphabet and people will need to tell her a word that begins with that letter. She begins with "A". Little Johnny excitedly raises his hand. She thinks to herself that she KNOWS what he will say for "A" so she calls on Suzy instead. Suzy says "Apple". The teacher then moves onto "B" and up goes Little Johnny's hand. The teacher knows a few things he could say for "B", none of which she wants him to say so she calls on Tommy. Tommy says "Boy". They continue this way through most of the alpahbet and the teacher keeps avoiding calling on Johnny because she fears what he'll say. She finally comes to the letter R. The teacher things "R?" For the life of her, she couldn't think of anything dirty he would say for the letter "R". So she calls on Johnny. Johnny stands up and proudly says "Rat. A big f***ing rat."

Answer 3

Lil' Johnny's mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank. They were in line behind a rather obese lady. As the mother patiently waited, Lil' Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's really fat."

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Lil' Johnny received a reprimand.

After a minute or two, Lil' Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is 'that' wide."

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.

Again after a couple of minutes Lil' Johnny stated loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt."

The lady turned and told Johnny's mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady's pager begins to go off.

Lil' Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life, she's backing up"

Answer 4

Little Johnny came home from school one day confused. His mother was Jewish and his father was Black. So Johnny asks, "Mommy am I more Jewish or more Black?"

"What does it really matter? If you want to know for sure you'll just have to ask your father," his mother tells him.

So, when his father arrived home from work, Little Johnny asks the same question, " Daddy, am I more Jewish or more Black?"

"What kind of question is that?" Why do you want to know if you're more Jewish or more Black?" asks dad.

"Well, it's like this dad ... Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for $50, and I don't know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait until it's dark and steal the thing." 

Answer 5

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The
teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a
fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many
blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The
teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy
says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared,
leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not
exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.

There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream
cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the
third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the
women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally
replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with
the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"

Answer 6

Where did Little Johnny go after the explosion?

EVERYWHERE!!!

Answer 7

Little Johnny asks his mother one day, "Mom is God black or white?" his mother replied,
"God is both black and white."
"Is God male or female?"
"Well, God is both male and female."
"Is God gay or straight?"
"Johnny, God is both gay and straight."
Johnny pondered upon this for a while and came back to his mother and asked,
"Mom, is Michael Jackson God?"

Answer 8

HAHAHAHA I just like the Jonas one very so much LOL at "she's useless" and the final one is VERY CUTE! STAR EDIT: LOL HAHAHAHA ROFLMAO AT the upload on by means of the poster above! WAY TOO FUNNY i love the best way you feel! hAHAHA