Where did I go wrong?

Question

Hi all,

I have been dating this girl which I met through a friend for about 6 months. Over the last few weeks she'd been acting really weird and I thought nothing of it. I thought it was down to pressure of exams etc. Last time I met her she told me what she felt and she said that there was nothing at all wrong with me but she felt that she was not right for me? WTF. I spoke to her for over 2 hours on the phone last night and she said that I deserved better (I don't want anything better!)

I have given her everything that I could give and I get this in return? She says she wants to stay friends but I don't think I could hack it. Please could you tell me what you would do in my situation or if I was her?

The question as above where did I go wrong?

Thanks

Dan

The thing is she tells me that she does love me and she doesn't want to lose me and she definatly has not got anybody as she would of told her other friends about it which I know very well.

I've said that I can't hack not her being with me and what do you think I would feel like if I was to go out in the future and she was with her man?

Hi,

A lot of people seem to think that she's been cheating? I am sure that she wouldn't do this. She's told me that I'm the best person I've ever met and she doesn't ever want to lose me but I've said that once we are no more then that means i'm gone for good. I don't ever want to hear from her or speak to her again.

I really really really don't understand whats gone wrong? We enjoy each others company. We meet regularly. I've never asked her to pay for anything or asked her for anything?

I just don't know what to say to her?

Answer 1

Maybe she is insecure about herself, or maybe she has been lying to you all along, whatever it it, you should probably move on and find someone who is right for you.

Answer 2

By the sounds of things, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes though you just realise that as much as you like each other and get on, that there is not the spark needed to keep a relationship exciting (probably around the 6 month mark) which sucks if you are still really into her, but if you think about the bigger picture, the longer it went on, the more it would hurt when it ended, so I also think that she probably did the honourable thing by being honest with you. Maybe if you have a break from speaking for a while, then you will be able to have a lasting friendship, and if it meant to be, she will realise that she was onto a good thing with you, and whats the worst that can happen...you have a great friend, who values you.

Answer 3

Dan, you haven't done anything wrong, this happened to me about 5 years ago, i'd be seeing my girl for over 12 months, she had everything she ever wanted, and the same story, i deserved better. I know how you feel, but if she's made up her mind, i'm sorry but i don't think she'll change it. if you've got strong feelings for her, then your right, the 'friends' thing won't work. I tried this, it was ok for about a week then it really got to me.

I don't know what i'd do if i found myself in this situation again, i suppose there's nothing you can do but feel upset and mope about. Unfortunately a fact and part of life is getting hurt, this probably won't be the last time either.

Dan, keep smiling, there's an old saying..."there's plenty more fish in the sea", i know it doesn't help you or make you feel any better know, but just give it some time, also, don't just jump into bed with the first girl you meet.

So sorry.

Good luck

Keep Smiling.

Answer 4

When you are young, people grow and change quickly and this may be happening with her.

It sounds like she is trying to let you down gently - if that is even possible. The best thing you can do is to let her go. I know it will hurt for a while, but it is said that if you love someone and they come back to you, then it was meant to be. Once she leaves you, she may realize what she has lost and will want to go back to you. Of course, it depends upon how long she waits before she wants this reunion, for in the meantime, you might have moved onto someone new.

All the talking in the world won't change her mind - and there is nothing you can do right now - so just let her go - mourn over the loss, then move on to someone new.

Some relationships are a stepping stone - and not all relationships are meant to last - so perhaps the next relationship you are in will seem so much better than the last.

The best is yet to be.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with you. It's something she's not telling you. Maybe she just doesn't feel the same anymore, and doesn't know how to tell you. She may have instead developed feelings for someone else. If she says you deserve better, think why she is saying this, is it because she has been unfaithful? Or is it that she's merely insecure/doesn't like you as much as you like her. Either way, you should leave her for now. Ask her why she thinks she deserves better first. If the answer is negative, stay friends with her and look for someone else. If she has cheated on you in a relationship of 6 months, don't be friends with her, she's not someone you can trust.

Answer 6

May be, you've gone wrong in loving that woman because I believe you deserve someone else. Why? Because no matter what you do, if a woman just wants you for a friend, she will never fall for you. You've given her everything you could possibly give her, both material and emotional, perhaps, but still she doesn't accept you to be the love of her life. I would say that at the moment, she still is not in love with you, no offense meant. At least, she told you about how she feels for you meaning that she's not taking advantage of your love for her.

What you can do is to continue doing what you were doing before about your intentions for that woman, and rest assured that if ever she is destined to be your girl, something will happen that will make her accept your love. If she is not the one for you, Destiny will help you in finding the one meant for you to love and to cherish forever. Good luck.

Answer 7

You probably did nothing wrong. There are many reasons that she could've lost interest, the most simple being that she's not ready for a relationship that's progressing in the direction that yours is, anywhere to she's been seeing someone else the whole time, anything inbetween, or something totally different.

If you're going to stay friends though, give eachother space. My ex-fiance stood up in my wedding, but it took a long time to get from being engaged and living together to being friends.

Answer 8

you did not go wrong so dont even go there, ok first dont want to be hard but will be truthfull the reasons she has given you is cause as she said she does not love you and does not want to be with you, but does not want to hurt you which is why she used the line its not you its me, and i am not good enough, and just because you give someone everything, if they dont want to be with you it means nothing, you need to say to yourself no she does not deserve me and i can do better, you need to be with someone who wants to be with you, as for the friends thing this is just another thing as not to hurt you to much and try to sofen the blow, please dont ring or get in touch with her wait for her to ring you and speak to you but stay cool and calm and behave with her like you would any friend and any talk about things you would with any friend and make sure you dont go over the boundery line if you cross it you will only get hurt even more and she knows she can pick you up anytime she wants, if she gets on to a subject you would not talk to another friend about then just tell her as a friend that is not acceptable, i know it is hard and you will get through it, and from experience if you ever did get back together it would never be the same, sorry dont mean to sound hard but you deserve more, stop thinking what i did wrong and move on you did nothing wrong you just were not meant to be together, keep smiling and get someone who will treat you how you treated her and it will mean alot more, good luck

Answer 9

I do not think that the real reason is that you deserve better. When we decide to break up for any reason but do not wanna make our partner sad, we sometimes say "hey you are a very good person I do not deserve you. It is not only the kindest way to break the relationship but also the easiest way to stay friends, too. My advise would be to go your own way and never turn back. Good luck.

Answer 10

Sounds like she has either been cheating on you, has someone else that she is MORE interested in, that she is a lesbian and doesn't want you to think you caused her to switch or is going to die from something nasty... Ask her to speak plainly about all this.. That you want the UNVARNISHED TRUTH!!!

It is a VERY strange way of dealing with things... But I think you should probably let her go, she is going to go anyway... And at some point try to find out what happened..

Answer 11

It happens to us all at some stage. At least she was honest with you from the start. You can go 2 ways with this, be a complete knob with her and you will probably never see her again, and she will bad mouth you to every one she knows. Or you can do what she wants and be friends. You have to ask yourself, is it better to have in your life as a friend or not in your life at all? Either way if she says its over, its over. Just like it would be if you dumped here.