I am 25 and my parents analyze everything I do. If I stay out past 8 pm, they are looking for me. If I buy a new type of food they question me. They tell me that the way I raise my kids is wrong. They are driving me crazy! We live in the same city. Should I move away? They are nice when they aren't controlling everything.
2006-06-11 19:25:21 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel bad for you. You've let the situation decay down to this, -and I'm sure that it's been years like this.
Anyway, try this technique. Start to open up with them and share things that you typically might have balked about. Volunteer the information, - but keep it shallow with information.
After a while they will understand that YOU are telling them stuff, and will feel satisfied that they know "the story". Remember to satisfy their "need to know" (everything), but maintain control over what you volunteer.
After a while, if you "share" too much, just tell them something like "I talked to you about Johnny, and he found out about it, and I don't want to treat people badly, - by talking about them anymore". And with that, only talk about Johnny's health or the weather. Or about the foods you buy, - just tell that that you talked to someone else about it and they thought it was boring, and now you think it's boring too.
You have to practice this technique for at least a couple of weeks to a couple of months.
Good luck!!
2006-06-11 19:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by MK6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't necessarily need to move away. How is it that they know how late you were out? How do they know what type of food you buy? These are details that most 25-year-olds don't share with their parents on a regular basis - I know I don't.
There's a book that you might find helpful in figuring out how to handle this. Look for "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud at your local library or bookstore.
2006-06-12 02:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a really good person. They have obviously raised you very well. I think patience and tact are the only ways to deal with them. Please don't move, they will miss you too much and so will your kids. Just ignore them when they irritate you, count to ten and remember they mean well.
When they are no longer around one day, you will wish they could just irritate you one last time. You need to suggest hobbies or anything else to keep them occupied, as they have nothing but you to worry about. You need to give them tasks which will help you and at the same time keep them so busy, they won't have time to hassle you. THis will work.
2006-06-12 02:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by liam2aid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say i understand what being 25 and a mother is, but at that age i'd think it's your choice what you do, how you eat, how you raise you're children. If your parents can't seem to let go it isn't that they purposly try to drive you insane, their just concerned and want to make sure your safe. I know, i have crazy parent's as well. Moving away is your decision, it's just realizing if it's really worth it...
2006-06-12 03:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should consider moving to a nearby-town/city unless you'd like to remain in the immediate area. It would still be easy to visit.
Do you have any good friends farther away...in a place you'd like to visit?...Get in contact with them! Ask how they like where they are now & possibly arrange a visit!
If You like what You hear...arrange for a vacation there...You really need to check it out for yourself to consider if you'd actually enjoy living there! ( You'll already have some people you know then - if you decide to move there. )
I live 2200 miles away from my family. I'm able to stay in contact by internet/phone & return for a visit whenever I feel like. Makes coming home Special!
2006-06-12 02:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by AlbertaGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set clear boundaries with them. Tell them you are an adult now. If you need guidance from them, you will ask. Tell them that even though they may think telling you these things is helpful, it is only causing you too feel smothered and critisized. Tell them what parts of your life are off limits. If they do not want to follow your rules, break off contact untill they do. It may seem drastic, but sometimes it's the only way to get your point across. One thing you should remember though, they wouldn't say anything if they did not love you.
2006-06-12 02:34:00 · answer #6 · answered by SportsFan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your parents, tell them how you feel. Your not a child anymore. I'm 18, and I'm out of my parents house. Don't run away from your problems they will only follow you latter on in life. I'm sure you're a great parent.
2006-06-12 02:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by friendly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are 25. a mother going 2 to b a mother if u staying with them if not dont talk 2them into they treat u like a adult it works
2006-06-12 02:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by NINA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try your best to prove that you can handle things on your own. My parents didn't really start trusting me to live without them until they saw me taking care of my daughter on my own. But being a parent yourself surely you can sympathize with the idea of not wanting to let go of your kin, right?
2006-06-12 02:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by J Bents 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can have a polite discussion with them first of all. I am sure they'll understand. If that doesn't work, then i'm afraid, you might have to move somewhere else.You are lucky to have such caring parents my freind. Its just that they at times might not realize that they can become overcaring.
2006-06-12 02:30:44 · answer #10 · answered by RK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋