When were together we have a great time. We have even discussed marriage, kids, etc. But because of work schedules we go a week a more without seeing each other. He has suggested moving in together so that we would have more time together. I can't do this because it is against my religion. What would you do? Do relationships like this work?
2006-06-11 18:31:59 · 14 answers · asked by bellacervantes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 25, he is 36. I have 4 year old twins from my ex-husband and he has a 10 and 13 year old from his ex-wife.
2006-06-11 18:43:08 · update #1
listen to your heart, if your heart says your religion is right, dont move in with him, if you believe it's ok to move in with him then by all means do it
2006-06-11 18:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by superunknownuser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you that you don't want to change your morals because of a man, it shows that you have respect for yourself, and that is absolutely great. Relationships are two way roads, both sides have to make the effort for it to work, and if that doesn't happen, it won't happen at all!
Because of your busy schedule I could understand why he may want you to move in, b/c at the end of the night he is coming home to you, and that is when he would get to see you. But, b/c of your view on it all, some compromise needs to be made.
Maybe twice or three times a week you could meet for lunch? Saturday night reserved for a date or Sunday is your day reserved to be together? If you can't do it every week make sure and at least do it twice a month. You need to make time for your relationship, or sorry to say it won't work out, you would grow apart...and it would be ...well pointless.
Speaking about marriage and kids is one thing, actually doing it is another. It is a nice fantasy to think about, but the reality of the situation is, if you wanna do these things with this guy....some things have got to change...sometimes we need to make sacrifices for our relationships...going 2 weeks without seeing each other (and i am assuming y'all live in the same state) is not normal.
Good luck and i hope it works out!
2006-06-12 01:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how about moving closer to each other? Or setting a date for a wedding? Don't do anything that's against your religion, tho you should know that people who live together do eventually get married. Not all, of course, and that's the purpose of living together - finding out if the relationship really will work.
If I were you and I knew the wedding is months away, I would move to his neighborhood, or have him move to mine.
2006-06-12 01:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by brand_new_monkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKAY, SO IF IT'S AGAINST YOUR RELIGION TO LIVE TOGETHER, I'M GONNA ASSUME YOU'RE NOT HAVING SEX EITHER. SO IF YOU'RE NOT HAVING SEX, THEN DON'T MOVE IN TOGETHER. NOT SO YOU CAN BE CLOSER.
CUZ IF BOTH OF YOUR WORK SCHEDULES CONFLICT YOU'RE STILL NOT GONNA SEE MUCH OF HIM. WHEN HE'S COMING, YOU'RE GOING. OR VICE VERSA. SAME THING. SO MOVING IN IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.
NOW IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH HIM, THEN MOVING IN SHOULDN'T BE A BIG DEAL. I MEAN HOW CAN MOVING IN WITH HIM BE AGAINST YOUR RELIGION IF HAVING SEX WITH HIM ISN'T AGAINST YOUR RELIGION RIGHT. SO I HOPE YOU DO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION.
YOU TWO NEED TO MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO SEE EACH OTHER. I MEAN IF YOU GUYS REALLY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, YOU WILL HOLD ON. AND IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER THE QUANTITY OF TIME, BUT THE QUALITY.
BE CAREFUL, HE MIGHT JUST WANT TO START GETTING THE MILK FOR FREE WITHOUT HAVING TO LEGAL PAY FOR IT. I HOPE I HELPED.
2006-06-12 01:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can spend more time together without moving in together. Try to coordinate your schedules a bit more and get days off together. Maybe take some vacation time together and go somewhere special. There are ways to figure out if you are compatible without moving in together.
2006-06-12 01:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get married before you live with him and this has nothing to do with religion. It is a commitment that every woman deserves. Don't ever settle or think irrationally. Mistakes happen when guys think they've won their prize with only one play. The man who should be with you is the one who stays with you in spite of everything, even time apart. Remember, it's not about quantity, but quality.
2006-06-12 01:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by neener68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Take time to get to know one another. If you move in find things you don't like, it will be a disaster. It takes time to develop a relationship. Get to know him and give it some time (at least 6 - 9 months) before deciding to move in.
2006-06-12 01:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by goodsense 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to find more time for him. if there is a time where you can do stuff together and are free, make it exciting! go to a theme park or to a romantic diner. rent some romantic comedies and watch them together all night. if you do better, more fun stuff together, there should be no reason to move in.
2006-06-12 01:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi. i work as a psychologist and i can tell u that this kind of relationship(a distance relationship) doesnt work often. i dont know ur age, but if you are young, i can tell u that guys are afraid of discussions about kids or marriage.it is a committement they dont want to take. i can suggest u that u know him better and than take a decision.
2006-06-12 01:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respect your religion try to avoid and if not can take a chance all the way to move with him
2006-06-12 01:38:20 · answer #10 · answered by paathu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep dating him. Just make sure you keep in touch. See him very often. Cause we both know girls like guys that they cant have. Which is why girls like guys that are already taken. Girls deny it because it's not cool. But it's true. Good luck.
2006-06-12 01:42:29 · answer #11 · answered by b-buddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋