my mom and dad just had a huge fight and i yelled at my dad and now he is gone.im not sure if its for good but i know that he has done this before and he didnt come back for a couple of a days....i hope its for good though...he has done so many things that im not sure if he is the dad i used to know....i remember about a week ago he found some pictures of me when i was 3 and he said "look at how happy my little girl is " and i corrected him and said "was...do you ever wonder why im not happy anymore?" then he started yelling at me and my mom and my brother....he just isnt the same ....what can i do to get out of this and be less depressed im only 12 so i cant move out or anything....i pretty much have nowhere to go......but still do you have any advice???
2006-06-11 16:53:51 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Family is a very precious social institution which can work wonders in anyone's life. So one should not take this institution for granted and make every possible effort to nurture and prosper it.
Do take expert family counseling. Let everyone be honest to admitting their respective faults and make sincere efforts to correct them for common good.
Good luck!
2006-06-11 17:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by helpaneed 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello Calli, i am a divorced father with a girl a little older than you. Your father may be going thru a rough time right now. Not to sound condescending but you may not know what is bothering him. It may be work, his wife, money problems, speaking as a father we didn't tell our kids when we had problems. The less they know the better off they are. We all say things in the heat of the moment. You didn't say why you was unhappy and that may be part of the problem. With my kids, if i dint know the problem my kids are having, i cant fix what is wrong. You can try talking to your dad alone. Your dad loves you, all dads love their kids. This business about seeking a shrink or drop to your knees and pray is good but it wont help the present. Your upset and you have every right to be. But its on temporary( damn i cant spell). I have been in your shoes sweety and i have been on the other end too. Things will get better.
2006-06-12 00:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by late_sleeper35 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't really say what your dad has done. But, I do think that if your parents were having a fight it needed to be between your parents and you shouldn't have got involved and yelled at either one of them. If you are having problems with your dad you should talk to him about it. You are growing up and becoming a teenager and you-my dear are changing. Therefore your whole world is going to look different to you. You are not a small child anymore. Maybe your dad is having a hard time seeing his"little girl" grow up. He obviously loves you. Don't get involved in adult fights, you have enough to deal with becoming a teenager. Good luck.
2006-06-12 00:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by Wilma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIrst..my heart goes out to you and I've offered up a prayer for you, your brother and your mom. Let me say gently that instead of seeking answers/advice here, which is okay for awhile..you need to talk with someone you trust. A friend who can listen without necessarily telling you what to do or how to feel. You are not alone. Unfortunately, there are many who have gone through, and are going through what you are. Another suggestion is to write down your feelings and whatever in a journal. Trust me..my mom and dad fought while I was young and writing in my journal helped to get the heaviness of my feelings off my chest (it actually helped me sleep better) Being depressed is a normal reaction to your father leaving. Getting stuck with negative feelings and not doing anything about it is NOT normal and you need to be brave and seek out help. Be good to yourself even when things aren't going good and you WILL get through this....you may even learn a lot of good things about yourself when you are older.
2006-06-12 00:01:42 · answer #4 · answered by answerb4midnight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its alright... Growning up is hard and parenting is even harder... He is obvisouly just stressed right now maybe because of work.. It is not your fault and never will be... this happens in many families and its important that You and your bro and mom find a happy escape from all this (watch a movie together, play a game...etc.)... Be there for each other because it is most likely that they are all feeling like you... When he comes back dont apologize but let him know you love him... this is hard trust me i know... if ya need any more help email me Galacticmouse921@yahoo.com... good luck and im here if ya need anything
2006-06-12 00:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Sammy J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, i'd love to give you any type of advise about this stuff, i'm 17 and i've had a ton of issues with my parents throughout my life, but i can't fairly say that there is anything you can do to make things better.
what i can say is that yelling, lashing out, or talking back to either of your parents can only have a negative outcome, this is true of almost any adult. there will always be times when you feel that you cannot hold your tounge any longer, but when you do speak your mind to your parents, make sure you are rational and that you think through what you say, because it will always have that huge chance of a negative response.
as for the rest of your issues, i would recommend seeking out a professional who you can trust, because a third person analysis of the situation is always better when that person has experience working with these matters, and when they are able to talk to you in person.
good luck & may god be with you.
2006-06-12 02:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Calli, that is my daughter's name... I am so sorry for what you are going through, but you have to understand your father is an adult, and you ARE NOT responsible for him leaving. I'm sure you must be upset with all the fighting, etc.and I am wondering if you have someone to talk to, maybe a counselor or teacher at school that can help you out? I know it's kind of scary to open up to people about this stuff but they are trained to help people just in your exact situation, so they can really help you to feel better, and to remember that it is NOT your fault. You can email me if you like privately at butterfly10954@yahoo.com, and let me know what is going on. Take good care, Love, Cindy
2006-06-11 23:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by butterfly10954 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, Honey I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe your dad needs to see a doctor. Mood swings, aggitation, uncharacteristic lashing out are symptoms of a treatable condition of, beleive it or not, depression. It's not just about being sad and mopey. He might need help and that could be why you Dad seems so different these days. Good luck. Hang in there for your Mom.
2006-06-12 00:00:23 · answer #8 · answered by Singlemomof10 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 12 dear. You need both parents as of now for total support. Get some neighbours or your grandparents to sort things out. Give your dad a chance. I am sure he is not a bad person. He may be having a rough time. In such a scenario, it wouldn't be wise to add more pressure on your dad from your side.
2006-06-11 23:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by A.S.I. - 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention what your dad did that has made you so unhappy. Odds are it's not all your dad's fault and it may be hard to see that. Either way, you should talk to your Mom about getting your whole family into family counseling. Why would you want your Dad and Mom to divorce? Regardless of whether your Dad leaves for good or not there are obvious problems that need to be addressed and you could all probably benefit from counseling.
2006-06-11 23:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
calli look.....
ur question has been answered by a lot of people. a lot of advice....right....... but i hope, so dearly hope that u read what the "late sleeper 35" had to say
calli i have been in ur position many times. i am a child raised solely by my mom since my birth. why? coz mom and dad always had a fight and then he used to go away and he didn't come back for months and when he did, anothe fight and the vicious circle went on and on. finally mom broke off and took me with her...........i was only about ur age then.............its now at the age of 19 that i fully understand what had happened back then..............its now that i can actually analyse what had been happening back then...........calli first of all you should never have yelled at ur dad........i know this sounds kinda stereo typed but adults have a better understanding of the situations........let ur mom and dad sort it out, they'll do it better than you..trust me.......they'll do what is best not for them.........never..........but what is best for their kids. yes calli.......that's the way parenting is.........they do it all for you!!
ur dad loves u calli.....why else would he pick up ur photo and say what he did??
calli i would suggest that u apologise to ur father for ur yelling at him, trust me it would make the things easier for you and ur mom!
take care,
best of luck!
2006-06-12 01:47:17 · answer #11 · answered by sunny98012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋