My dad says that I m lazy and irritating?

Question

It was better few years back.Everything was OK.But in the last two years,my life has taken a complete U-turn.I also feel that I m not the same person that I was few years back.There is no discipline in my life.It has made my life hell.Plz give me some suggestions.Help me how to make my life better and bring it on the right track.

I m 18 years old

Answer 1

So from you wrote, I get the impression that you agree with him. What has happened to put you where you are at? I will say that everything that is happening in your life is due to the choices and decisions that you are making. I don't know your age so this makes it somewhat difficult but from the signs of it you must be a teen, since most teens feel this way. Parents don't hate their children, and even though we want the best for our children we do make mistakes at times. The thing you have to realize is we have walked the walk and talked the talk. We have stumbled and made our own mistakes and don't want you to make the same ones, soooo we try to protect you from yourself the best that we know how as we stumble through this thing we call parenthood.
It is very difficult to let go as a parent and we end up frustrated because we don't want to even though we know we should. It is very irritating to see and watch our children make decisions that we know are going to bring about pain, try to remember that even though it may seem like the thinks those things it probably because of the inability to let go.
You sound like you aren't happy though and that is the begining. Try sitting down and talking with you dad, try to mend the broken fence and find out why he feels the way he does.
Make a decision to start making choices that will give you the dicipline and direction that you are seeking. Set a plan of action up and try to follow it. Make a list of things you want to accomplish then start with number one and work through it.
Discipline is what you father wants for you I'm sure, and half the battle may be that you just have not accepted that you want the same thing since you can tell it's messing up your life. No matter what though............you're relationship with your father should be up there on your list of priorities. He does love you even if he's failing miserable at showing it. Talk, Talk, Talk..... I thought that this poem fits.

>NAIL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a
bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every
time
he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The
first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few
weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered
daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his
temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came
when
the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the
father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he
was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally
able
to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son
by
the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son,
but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When
you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put
a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say
I'm
sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical
one.

Answer 2

What, if anything, happened in the last 2 years that would set you on this path?

You have the ability to make goals, I suggest that you make a list of some simple goals you can accomplish in the next week. Example; clean my room, organize the garage, do yard work, etc.

Once you accomplish these small goals, make another list of larger goals. If you are in high school, you may want to make a list of what you want to do afterwards. Example; go to college, get a summer job, investigate career options, etc.

The things that are holding you back, identify. Is T.V. a problem, the internet, what? Whatever it is, limit how much you do and stick to it.

Some things just become bad habits and those can be broken. If you can change the behavior that is negative for 30 days, you will break the habit.

A few other things I'd suggest is eat healthy, get exercise and ask yourself if you need a "spiritual tune up" (got church?).

Hang in there, you can do this.

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are, but I'm certain you are a different person that you were a few years ago. We all are if we're growing at all. Have you considered going to a doctor? Depression is a treatable condition.
Another suggestion would be to volunteer for a cause you really believe in. This will give you a reason to work. Keep your day job, if you have one--it can support you while you persue things that you feel can make the world a better place.

Answer 4

I'm forty. You are a different person now. If you can have this much insight about yourself then you can discipline yourself since the adult in your life can't. Write your goals, rewrite them as you change. Look at them as often as possible. Take the steps you need to get to where you want to go. Don't get distracted, do your best to stay focused. People will hate as they see you progress, even family. It won't be easy, nothing worth having is. Keep loving yourself. Best of everything. While you're still in your fathers care try to compromise, do things without having to be asked, stay away from knucklehead friends. Sometimes you have shake them off. Keep your head up. Do Not Go In The Military. GO TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Think, is it worth saying? Is it worth doing?

If yes, do it, if not, don't....

Always reflect, and readjust as necessary.

All things that you know of, is what you're doing the best you know to do? If not, stop doing what you're doing, and follow your own praiseworthy judgments.

This is the only way to act on the knowledge we have, all else is plainly acting in ignorance of our own selves, and hence no answers can come without much suffering, until self affirmed knowledge is the motivation. Why act contrary to your own knowledge of what's best?

Others will always misjudge us, but if they are unhappy with you, with even a little of it being true, it will always cause misery sooner or later.

You must become happy in all things, every moment, or the smallest unhappiness will impair the highest happiness from ever being truly known.

Answer 6

Dude, I dealt with the same thing. My Dad is a good man...hard working, would do anything and everything for me, etc...but he said and acted in ways that hurt my feelings around that age as well...same stuff as you, made me feel like a failure, worthless, etc. If you are anything like me, one of the worst things in the world that could ever happen to you is to disappoint your father, right?

Men are stupid sometimes. If you dont believe me, ask women around here! Your Dad probably doesn't know the impact of his behavior. If you try to talk to him about it, he might dismiss it as you making excuses for being lazy and a moocher...so you are stuck in a bad place.

You are perfectly normal. Lots of peeps go down the same path as you. You are not a loser because of it. Matter of fact, the fact that you realize it, accept it and want to do something about it means you want to get on the right track. What that track is, I don't know...everyone has a different one.

I will tell you, as disappointed as my dad was with me whenever I was in your situation, he is that proud of me now. He doesnt go around telling me all the time, but I know because he tells people. I dont know what kind of man your dad is, but mine is a good man...sure, he hurt me a bit...but we all make mistakes. Haven't you? Now, my dad and I have a great relationship. We hang out. We drink beers together...he comes to my parties, hangs with my friends, etc. There is nothing more sacred than the bond between a father and son.

Stay up playa! Get on your track. I suggest education first...it prolongs your childhood! Plus, college is packed with parties, girls and irresponsibility...plus, it makes people proud of you...it gives you a 4 or 5 year buffer before you have to hit the real world...nothing wrong with that, right?

Answer 7

I'm no longer a man however my dad says that I'm lazy so that you aid your dad across the condominium in order that he does no longer say that you're lazy, get a well activity so might be you'll be able to aid your dad with the charges and the whole thing. cross to the fitness center due to the fact that to be able to ordinarily educate you subject

Answer 8

How old r u?
well you probibly have deeper probs then you realize.If its time to get out of your parents house then you will soon learn discipline.
if your still young then you need to learn self discipline.
Like what is it that sets you off, Mabye you should get a job that challenges you maybe something that youve always wanted to learn but didnt think you could. Then you would be proud of your self and that could start you on a different track....

Good Luck....

PS.. Im a girl and learned to weld ....Now thats Kick ***!!!

Answer 9

Stop smoking dope, get up off your *ss and get a job or go back to school, Listen to your dad, all he is trying to do is help you, from the looks of your letter you seem to be a fairly smart person so I cant harass you about that,, I think you will be alright, with a little guidance!!!

Answer 10

It depends on your age. You need to find something that will motivate you. What do you want to do with your life? What goal do you have? Talk to your Dad and tell him how you feel. He may have some good ideas to help you get back on track. He knows you better than we do.