How do you disipline a 1 year old? If she smacks you/pokes you?

Question

Should I give her the mean look? Is that abuse? Should I raise my voice? Do I ignore her?

Why would she hit? Is this a sign of aggression on her part?

Answer 1

Give her a gentle, but firm love tap on her tiny fingers and say in a firm voice, "No thank you!" That is what they learn in preschool.

Answer 2

Kids that young a) don't have great physical control; b) don't have good emotional control; and c) can't express themselves very well in words, so they have a lot of frustration. Plus, they're just discovering their autonomy and they want to do lots of exploring, and there's always a grown-up telling them no or taking things away. It's tough to be little. So hitting is pretty normal. Par for the course. It's not a sign of an aggressive temperament or anything like that.

Don't hit. You can firmly hold her hands, look her in the eye, and tell her no. Then put her down somewhere where she can't reach you, and give her something else do do.

That's not abuse. That's corrective action plus redirection, which is the best form of discipline until your child is older.

Answer 3

Toddlers do this because they get a reaction from you but they don't have the mind power to realize that it can hurt. Tap the hand and look into her eyes and say no, that hurts. If she keeps it up take her to her room and let her know that mommy will not allow being hit and that she must stay in her room (for an approitate time) and then after that she can come out. Show her that you like hugs or kisses instead. Give her a big bear hug and say mommy loves bear hugs. and make a game out of hugging....big squeeze, small squeeze. She may enjoy that you do like hugs and it may get her out of the habit of hitting. This is something that most children go through so don't take it personally. You are not a bad mommy! You just need to let her know that hitting will not be tolerated!

Answer 4

You should just ignore it. Redirect her or distract her. She likes your reaction because she is realizing she is a separate being from you and making an impression thrills her. Even if it is negative, she is so young and cannot understand manipulation. It is all about exploring and testing her world, not to hurt you. Discipline should be a firm no when in danger, and an immediate removal from the situation. Start to use time outs after age 2 1/2. And of course, never spank or swat. You will get advice on hitting her back so hopefully you won't take it. I found this info from Dr Sears below.

Children's hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child's natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message. Sensitive parents we have interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment. Research supports this idea. Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt.

Answer 5

If a young child of that age should hit you then you should pop her hand lightly and tell her no, as if letting her feel what you felt, and telling her thats not nice. The mean look is not abuse but she may not know what that means. Try to express to her or show her that it hurt and say don't hurt mommy. If she continues to do it then you should get with a time out. Always explain to her what her actions will do and the reason for your reaction. She may not learn until she is actually able to understand when you talk to her. That is how I handled my son at that age.

Answer 6

Sounds like she is learning cause and effect. If she hits you, tell her that we do not it, and it hurts using a firm voice. You can also use the look, it is not abuse. If she does it again, tell her that it is not ok to hit, and give her a 1 minute time out. You can use a playpen or other area for this. When she is done with time out, remind her that it is not ok to hit. Give her a hug and start over.

Answer 7

Do not raise your voice. I wouldn't suggest spanking at this age either. Definetly do not ignore her. If you do it could escalate to hitting and I know you don't want to be basically abused by your child. I have a 6 month old son who hit me in my face the other day and I just looked at him and told him no, firmly but not yelling, and told him that that hurts mommy. He immediatley started crying I gave him a hug and reassured him that I loved him with all my heart and he hasn't done it since.

Answer 8

Hold her firmly by both her arms and make sure your at her eye level when you do and in a firm but not scary voice tell her NO!!! you do not hit or poke Mommy or anyone else ,She will probably get a little upset but it will be awhile before she does it again and when she does use the same method after a short time she will stop....Good Luck and God Bless...

Answer 9

You're definitely not alone in this kind of situation. As new toddlers are just beginning to explore the world around them, so is the fact that they are just new in learning how to communicate properly with you and with the world around them.

Your child is expressing herself one way or the other but of course, this is no excuse for her to behave as such in the long run. Now this is the perfect time to be more patient with her. Each time she pokes or smacks you, look straight into her eyes so as to get her attention. Do not worry if she doesn't understand you at first but you would be amazed that tots can learn fast and easily by reading your facial expressions. Tots do learn by the way we speak and act in front of them. And so, it is very important that you mean what you say, and say what you mean.

If you find a particular behavior unacceptable, talk to her that that isn't right and be sure to be gentle and show to her what is the proper way or what words she can use to express herself. Tots may not pick this up the first time but if you remain consistent, they would surely pick it up.

One vital thing that you have to remember is, each time you talk to her, encourage her to use simple words to help express herself. If she meant she's hungry, let her use the words "I'm hungry" or if she drinks milk, let her use the words, "Milk, please." This in a way will help her to communicate to you in a level that will at least meet some of her needs and not resort to something physical that you find it very inappropriate.

One thing also is that, most tots poke or smack for no reason at all. Frankly, they didn't mean to hurt you or by what you said, she's already showing some signs of aggression in her. In general, tots are our 'little explorers' . They learn with their hands and feet. Maybe, she is curious on some stuff and it's by her poking or smacking that she relates herself with that object or person. She's obviously 'curious' with the world around her. But of course, it's your duty as a parent to show her that that behavior when done on people, is not right. Clearly tell her that she can gently use her hands to touch you or get your attention.

As a parent, don't fret yet. You still have so much time to observe her behavior is you really feel convinced that she some signs of aggression but really, it's stil too early to say not until she's already 4 or 5 years of age.

What you need to do at this point in her life is to teach her and guide her accordingly especially in teaching her what is right from wrong. This may sound heavy for some parents but really, even as young as they are, we can teach them the basics. Overall, enjoy your little tot. She's your little explorer. Just teach her to use her hands gently when she touches objects or other people. Definitely, she will learn along the way with you by her side.

Answer 10

A 1 year old doesn't understand. She is just learning. Just gently take her hand and say no hitting. Eventually she will learn. My youngin had a bad habit of biting and it took a long time but she eventually got out of the habit.