Any advice?

Question

I am 16 years old. I have been cutting for about 4-5 years. My parents know that I cut and, I havee been diagnosed as a severe Manic Depressive is Schitzophrenic tendencies. I HATE taking my medication. I am on Prozac and Lamictal. It makes my stomache hurt, and I still feel depressed. I black out when I do cut, and half the time I don't remember doing it. I have over 10,000 pills saved because I don't take them. I feel that I need long term help, but I know when I get it I won't want it. I can't help but get pissed of when someone calls my name. I HATE people calling my name. Every time I cut, I ALWAYS wake up with blood every and they are always too deep. The cuts take about a month to heal because they are too deep. I always see the fat beneith my skin. I constantly have a headache, and I never talk to my friends anymore... Please, I need help, I feel the only way out of my problems is suicide... But, I don't want to make my parents angry with me... Please help... No **** please!

Oh, I forgot to also inform that I was diagnosed Bi-polar, and dont think that it is a correct diagnoses. I have been hospitalized twice for it in the past, but It was only for a week, both times and it was also just in the psychiatric ward of my hospital. I just don't know what to do and how to act any more. I kind of think that some of my friends are only friends with me because they feel bad for me. I don't know.... I just don't know what to do....

Oh, I also have tried to commit suicide, a few times... The last one was in May of 2005. Ever since I have tried, my parents have been watching my every move. I still have regrets about succeeding in my attempt, and wish I could have done something more. All the other times was just overdosing on various medications, and just hoping that someone would find me dead where ever I woke up. But, all that would happen is that I would just pass out and wake up the next morning....

PLEASE ANSWER!!!!

Answer 1

I understand. I've got some help for you. contact me. There is a better way. You can learn to be good to yourself and help yourself.

Answer 2

i can't help but think you are simply craving attention. your cry for help here is quite extravagant and if you really have been cutting to the extent to which you say as well as all of your suicide attempts..and your parents know about it...there is no way that you would not have been placed into a long term psychiatric hospital by now. further more, bi-polar disorder and manic depression are the same thing, one term is just politically correct while the other term was discontinued several years ago. it would be impossible for you to have one but think that the diagnosis of the other one is incorrect. anyway, i dont deny that you have a problem...the fact that you wrote all this up makes it clear that you need some sort of help. you say you have no friends, perhaps you just want attention, people to listen to you and this is the only way to get it. just remember there is a difference between attention and negative attention. also..you are asking for help, well you have been prescribed medication for a reason. if you just take the medication as prescribed you will notice a serious difference after 6-8 weeks. if it is hurting your stomach then tell you doctor and he can put you on something else or lower your dosage. perhaps it is hurting your stomach because you are on a dosage much to high for you because your problems arent actually as severe as you say.

Answer 3

You sound like you have a very serious problem. I know that taking medication is miserable and can make you sick, but sometimes you have no choice. Suicide is never the answer.

If you are blacking out and cutting yourself without remembering, you are a serious danger to yourself. Have you told your parents that you do that? Don't worry about making them angry. They love you and only want to keep you safe.

I hate to say this, but it sounds like you need to check-in to a mental health facility until you can get this serious condition under control. It will most likely be a rough road, but the outcome will be well worth it. I understand that that is not something you want to do, but you can't think in the present, you must think in the future.

What kind of future will you have if you don't overcome this??? Will you even have a future, or will you die at your own hands? My heart goes out to you. It may feel as if your world is coming to an end right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I pray that you find a way to that light.

Answer 4

you need to try your meds and quit hiding them...Cutting is a physical release of overwhelming emotional stress. The pain releases endorphins that help soothe and clear the mind of built up anger and anxiety. It's hypothesized that it could be caused by chemical imbalances and depression that make them lust for the endorphin release. It may be due to sensory arousal. They feel more real and alive while cutting themselves.
Self-mutilation will only leave you more depressed. The action can be a horrible burden of guilt on a youth. You're friends say stop, but why do so if it makes you feel better? There's other ways to feel release than bleeding yourself. Try running or jump roping. Okay, so maybe exercise isn't your thing, but be sure not to listen to depressed music in reminiscence. Read something you enjoy. Paint. Draw. Join a group in the local school or community center. Write poetry. Any combination of actions. Accept cutting for what it is and whether you decide to stop or not, don't feel guilty with your choice of action. http://www.selfinjury.com/

Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

National Adolescent Suicide Hotline
800-621-4000

try to talk to someone that will help..

Answer 5

I am 35 and a former self injurer. I cut so deep that I have scars on my left arm that go from my knuckes to my neck. I am Bipolar. I woke up 3 years ago and said in order to get my life straight, I need to take responisbiity for it. I took my Lithium and I gave it a chance to work. I also was on Lamictal and it made me sick, if you have a good med doc. he/she will help you, if you don't fire their butt. and seek out another. Suicide isn't the answer. Getting better and feeling better about yourself is. It's not going to be overnight. But it could be sooner than you think if you try to take those meds. Also, if you were really going to kill yourself, you wouldn't be talking about it or care what everyone else thinks. So this makes me believe that you do want help. Be blunt not only with yourself, but with your parents also. Don't back down from this. Be strong, even though you think you can't. Good Luck! and report back in 3 months here.

Answer 6

Try this. When you feel you have to cut, see if you can hold off starting to cut to do 2 things.

1. Eat a snack with some meat or protein - open a can of tuna or find some chicken, some carb like a cookie or potato chips or carrots, and some nuts - almonds or peanuts. Ask your parents to get some next time they shop.

2. See if you can wait 45 minutes after the snack before cutting. You have to wait that long for the food to do its good.

If this helps, and you find your need to cut passes as a result, every time, ask your doctor to test you for hyperinsulinemia and hypoglycemia. Hyperinsulinemia is a blood test (fasting blood insulin) and hypoglycemia is a 6-hour test.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Girl, I've been there!! Pain is so hard to understand. Remember... you are not alone. Others are out there feeling the same things. don't cut, drink, or do drugs to hide the pain. If you never really let youself feel IT, it will never heal or go away. Stay positive!! You are important! My life is a rollercoaster ride and has been since I was your age. Now 31, I know all my suffering was worth it and if you remember to enjoy the coaster ride and feel the pain not hide from it You will recognize you are loved... even by the people you haven't even met yet!!! I have seen many therapists... they can help!!and I will try too!!! You are precious to me!!!!Hey and I just met you!!!!

Answer 8

Hey, I may have a few true answers for you. Cutters usually suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (you still may have other diagnoses but that is the one that makes you cut). You cut and try to kill yourself not because you want to die, cuz dieing is forever. You want your emotional pain and suffering to stop. Cutting diverts your attention from your emotional pain by causing physical pain. Your "blackouts" are most likely whats called Dissociation or Dissociative Episodes where your mind takes a little trip away from your "reality" cuz it can't handle everything that is going on. You do need professional help. Meds may or may not help you. Borderline Personality Disorders best help is an intensive class called DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) The whole DBT concept may sound hokey at first but if you follow the class work and work hard at all you learn, you can learn to have a life much more worth living. Lots of hugs and love to you hun. I know its hard but if you try you can make it and YES it is worth all the work to get it all straightened out.

Answer 9

Sweetie, you have something that is haunting you. What is it? There is a demon torturing you ... a demon that is living off a wound that you suffered when hyou were younger. Were you molested? Did anyone believe you? What was it?

You don't need pills ... well, I can't say that for sure. But I know for sure that you need to figure out what is tormenting you. Your life can be transformed so that all of this cutting and worse is a thing of your past. The past is something in your rear view mirror. You are loved so much, your life has immeasurable worth ... the life you were created to live is just beyond your grasp. You can get there.

Answer 10

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have never faced emotions and feelings like that so i do not know what to tell you. I know that you can't just stop, and i understand you not wanting to take the meds. It will be ok, you need to talk to your parents and they can make an appt at the doctor for you maybe some different pills may help and not make you sick. I was taking lexapro anti depression pill it made me fell better and never made me sick i no longer need it but maybe it will help you. God bless you and keep you.

Answer 11

First, slooooow down. Think, man.

You are insane-do not deny this. So, when did the insanity start? Stress, pain, boredom. repititive life...I know what it is like to some extent. In my middle school year, I attempted suicide, and that scar has never left. You will suffer for an attempted suicide, and face an eternity in hell for a successful one.

The evils and pains of live can easily destroy us. You have been driven FAR too close to the edge by something. In my case, it was constant pain and stress, as I suffered severe kidney disease in my middle school years and now must urinate through a tube. It is rather painful. Finding out about that drove me insane.

Do you hear voices? When I attempted suicide, a voice who I thought was named Syramus told me to drink peroxide. I remember muttering in sync with that voice as I tried to end my own life- "they will know, they will see now" ad giggle a bit. Had my mother not caught me, I would have attained a lethal dose. Do you hear such things?

My insanity left after my life smoothed out and peace came. Seek peace of mind and surroundings. Do not be afraid of counselers, mine did little for me but that is probably the worst that can happen as a result of talks.

This is real. I know this insanity you speak of. It almost killed me. I know that I am no psychologist but do not think ill of me. I speak to help you, and it is your choice whether or not to listen.

Good luck and God bless your soul, my friend.