2006-06-11 14:56:48 · 23 answers · asked by Terri M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Absolutely do not make the kids see him. He may be their father biologically, but he is a stranger to them. That would put too much stress on them. Plus, he cannot be a parent to them whenever he chooses. It's an emotional roller coaster for kids to have a parent pop in and out of their lives like that. Kids need stability.
2006-06-11 16:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 2⤋
It's not the kids fault he doesn't pay support. If your kids want to see him,,then they should. I was in the same situation a few years ago. No contact or support from their father...I thought the same as you...But I realized later that I was wrong..My son's grades were dropping.He started to rebel against me...When I let him spend time with his father he was fine...His grades went back up and he was his old self again..
2006-06-11 22:07:24 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard. I have been in a similar position. The only thing is I want my child's father to be in her life if he is willing to prove that he will be and that she is not just a toy that he can play with when he feels like digging her out from the bottom of the toy box.
If you have talked to him and they have not that is ideal. It actually works if they have talked to him too... Make him prove himself to you first but having constant contact with you for awhile. Then after you feel comfortable with that set up a meeting time and place. Do not tell your boys why you are going there so they will not be disappointed if he does not show. And it is a special bonus if he does show. Let him know you expect him to see them regularly not just whenever he wants.
I do believe your children deserve to have him in their life-he might not deserve it but they do-if he is willing to be there now. Some people really do change!!! But if it is just going to cause them more heartache then you have to do what is best for them...and keep them away from it.
2006-06-11 22:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not about the money, it's about the kids. If he hasn't seen the kids in 7 years, then he doesn't need to see them. It will freak the kids out. Now to the money: Let's pretend that you haven't put any money up for them in 7 years either. They would have nothing. They would be in foster care because they had been neglected. If you couldn't have them because you didn't put up enough money for them, then he shouldn't see them because he hasn't helped to raise them. It takes money to raise children. If there is another man in your life that is good to your kids and can be a good father and husband, then I say lose the sperm donor and let the new dad adopt them. Good Luck!!
2006-06-11 23:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by jocelyn_magee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends upon whether or not the courts awarded him visitation (if you are legally divorced). If so, you could be held in contempt for refusing visitation privileges. If you were awarded child support, he can be held in contempt for not paying this. You did not say if you are divorced, legally separated or what. The answer all depends upon your legal status. Don't get caught up in a situation where he might actually gain custody. You really need to consult an attorney on this.
2006-06-11 22:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by judojaka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your kid's father haven't has contact with your kids and pay no support for then, you have all the right to deny the right to him to see the kid. To make babies take two, if he haven't take hisresponsibilities, you do not have to let him see your children.But is take a paternity test for him to claim them and at the same time, you nhave the right to ask for the retroactive $ that he have not pay for those years. Let him to take you to court.
2006-06-11 23:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by flowermieses@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision that you have to make. Do what is in the best interest of the children.Do they know him at all? Where has he been? Is he a good person that would be a good influence in their life?
You want them to know their father if at all possible.If you stand between them-it will bite you in the rear in the end.
Make your decision based on their best interest and follow what you feel in your heart.
2006-06-11 22:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man does not "buy" his visitation rights with his child support payments. The two things are separate. Still, his visit is an opportunity for you to point out how much he owes in back support. You might talk to someone in the DA's office who handles child support to determine how you can get your past-due support. There are a variety of ways, including garnishing (attaching) his wages.
2006-06-11 22:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you have full custody of your kids than yes. It is up to you to do what is in the best interest of your kids. In my experience it is worse to have a part-time, makes promises he doesn't keep father, than to have an absentee father.
2006-06-12 04:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by goldeneyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea... he wasnt ready in the first place... some ppl are just *******. But do explain to your kids that its not their fault, nor yours. I'd go to Social Services and they can track him down and force him to pay child support but you have to file for custody first. Hang in there... I'm the only female out of 4 and my biological dad wants nothing to do with me.. but is in my brothers' lives.
2006-06-11 22:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by lucki_charmed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋