My four year old son Carmelo has a problem with the law.?

Question

Thursday on the last day of school my four year old son Carmelo was walking home with his two friends and he had spray paint. He sprayed west side on the side of somebody's house. They called the cops and I had to go pick him up from the police station. I do spank my kids but do you think is serious enough to spank him?

Today he just did it again. My husband just went to pick him up from the police station. Do you think when he gets home he should get spanked?

We live in the hood. I'm saying where. But West Side is sprayed all over the hood. He got the can from my husbands garage at work.

He was walking home with his cousin. His cousin is twelve years old. He was talking on his cell phone and didn't see him do it.

He was walking home with his cousin. His cousin is twelve years old. He was talking on his cell phone and didn't see him do it. I wouldn't let him walk home by himself. He could kid naped or raped or something. He was walking home with someone. I ain't a dumb parent.

Nobody in my hood would hurt my three kids. We are cool with everybody in the hood and all the gang members in my hood are friends with my three kids, they think they are the sweetest kids in the world. They would never hurt my kids.

Answer 1

maybe you son is hanging around the wrong people. Have you asked him why? Maybe he is watching the wrong tv shows

Answer 2

4 years old, and a 2nd visit to the station? There are bigger problems that spray paint going on -- Find a doctor for your baby boy to talk to -- a psychiatrist -- you need to get to the core of this before it becomes dangerous for your boy -- what if he found a gun or a knife? -- please, get him to the doctor - violence (spanking) & punishment is not the answer -- There is a serious problem that needs to be addressed -- get help -- now, before it's too late

Gang bangers are "friends" as you call it with your 4 YEAR OLD son -- that's just who needs to influence him!!! I can't believe this actually came out of your mouth!! You know what, you need help, too, honey.
They may treat him well now, until that 12 year old is walking home with him, and a rival gang does a drive by, but it hits your son instead of that 12 year old. I'm just saying - you need somebody responsible walking your kid home, or picking him up from school in a car -- If a 12 year old is talking on the cell, and looking away from your kid long enough for him to figure out how to spell and spray paint on a wall, then he's probably not the one you want watching your child
I'm sorry, I'm just blown away - do something -- get out of the hood if you can
Best of luck, honey

Answer 3

My goodness, this is young to be having this problem. You need to nip it now! I'd sit down and have a long talk with him about private property, respect, and what's appropriate and what's not. Also, talk to him about going to the police station and how it's not something that should ever happen. I'm shocked the first trip didn't scare him. I'd also take something away he cherishes, like TV or video games for a week. If he doesn't catch on, try a harder punishment. If he's old enough to do this, he's not to young to send to his room for a long grounding!

It is too late to spank him and most kids don't mind a quick punishment that's over in a while Sure it hurts, but it doesn't make a lasting impression. I'm not a big fan of spanking. I this situation calls for something else.

Answer 4

First of all what was your 4 year old son doing walking home, I have a 4 year old and I do not let her walk anywhere without me, that is a very young age for you to be allowing your son to walk home, even if it is with friends. And, I cannot believe a police officer would even take a 4 year old to jail, that is so not right, they cannot do that, they are supposed to notify the parent and you should have been charged for neglect letting your son walk home he's 4 do you know that someone probably could have taken him and his other 2 friends probably would have not even noticed because 4 year olds do not really know right from wrong in certain situations, especially at such a young age, he doesn't know any better.

Answer 5

I think whether or not to spank your kid is the least of your worries. It seems a bit strange that a four year old is walking home without adult supervision - what is he in preschool? But if that that is cool, you certainly have to question where he got a can of spray paint and what else is he doing with it? It won't be long before he figures out sniffing it will make him feel funny. From your tone you seem to think it is not that bad and if that is the case, you will surely have many more problems in the future.

Answer 6

Oh my, at 4 years old you are already having this problem? Sometimes spanking is not the answer. Have you tried taking things away such as favorite toys, etc, grounding or even counseling!! There is medication for behavior problems but if none of these help, keep going until you get the problem fixed with your son. If you have spanked him in the past it is time to move on to something else. If his friends are influencing him to do this then prohibit his friends.


Good Luck and DO NOT give up!

Answer 7

Spanking him won't help. You need to stop letting him play with those friends, and never leave him unattended, he is only 4. You should contact the other children's parents and you should talk about what happened, then personal apologizes should be made by everyone involved and they should clean it up. And I don't mean just repainting it, I mean scrub brushes and soap. A few days of hard labor will make anyone think twice of what they did. Why spank him, that just makes him think hitting is acceptable when someone does something wrong, show him what his did wrong and what the consequences are for his actions.

Answer 8

Are you kidding? This is not your son's problem - this is your problem. I don't even let my four year old son play outside by himself. Much less have access to paint cans. You and your husband need to plug into your son's life. Your child is defacing other people's property at the age of four when he should be playing on a swing set in the backyard (under your supervision) or watching shows like Thomas the Tank Engine that teach values. You obviously need a lesson in parenting to let your 4 year old son wander the streets by himself and even worse in the hood. do you want the next time your child gets arrested to be for pushing crack in exchange for a candy bar. Unless you decide to be a parent there will be a next time. Child molesters and kidnappers are everywhere and for that reason alone I can't believe you let your child run around like that. Your son doesn't know what he is doing is wrong because it seems that his life lessons are coming from other children whose parents could care less what happens to them. Right from wrong has to be taught and YOU are the person that needs to teach it.

Answer 9

yes, spank him for it good and hard. use the switch, make him pick it out. when you've spanked him and he's still crying and very upset, explain to him what he's done. yell if you must, but make yourself heard. if he does the same again, he gets the same treatment plus extra smacks for repeating.you must be consistant and tell him what those extra ones were for.

i take care of 4 children and spank them for major offenses. the punishment is always very consistent and they know so well when they are in for it, that they go get the switch without me asking. the biggest discipline issue i had with them yet was when Alan , the boy i take care of who is also 4 kept stealing things from the store when i'd take him and his siblings. first time i noticed it we already got home when i found him emptying his pockets with a smirk. without a word, he was sent out into the garden for the switch, he came back with the smallest one but i put it to good use after an hour of corner time in which he was told to never EVER steal from the supermarket again. when the time was up, he went over my knee and had a nice little shade of red on his butt before i was done with him. i honestly thought that would be the last of it. a week later, the same thing happened. this time i cought him INSIDE the store. he was made to appologise to the casheer ladies and this time i picked the switch out, on our way home. he cried the entire time, because see, kids knows when they are in for it and they know they have done something wrong. so anyway, same routine only this time he got 2 spankings and was seriously talked to. he was so impressed that he didn't want to go to the store for a week. this was a year ago and he never tried anything remotely as naughty again. i nipped it in the bud and Alan is a perfect little gentlemen most of the time. he still adores me and i only have to mention the switch to get his full attention. spanking WORKS.

Answer 10

Im surprised the police havent contacted social services. A 4 year old shouldnt be walking home from school without a trusted adult. This isnt about the punishment being serious enough, its more about being more involved in your sons life.

Answer 11

Well I think it is bad to spank ur son. All u need is tell him don't spray in people house ok and be respect to him. Show him the mother love that u have and give him a kiss when he listen to u.