So I've been dating this great guy for about 2 months! He's told me he loves me, and I can tell he does because of everything that he does for me!!! Mistake....I said it back because I thought I did too. In a way I do. He's done so much for my family and I and always wants to see me...yet something is irking me. I still check out other guys and would like to date them. I know it's unfair to him too. I just am soo scared to break his heart and have his family hate me forever (because we got along so well). Trouble is, we go to the same church, so I would see him and his family every week!!! HELP PLEASE!! I am so distressed.
2006-06-11 12:45:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be true to yourself, and DO what you have to do! It IS your life after all. He will get over it in time, and move on. Don't stay in a realtionship your heart is not in! It's not fair to you, or him. Move on!
2006-06-11 12:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It you think about all of this from a logical perspective and the guy is as great as he seems, you would be crazy to end it with him. If something is "irking" you and you don't know what it is, then the problem could very well be with you and not him. It seems to me that you need to really sit down by yourself and try to consider why you are perceiving the relationship negatively. I believe you may be making a big mistake by ending this. You can contact me if you want to discuss this further.
2006-06-11 19:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by alaskanguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, this is a difficult situation. my advice is, follow your heart, not your mind. everyone has an internal guidance system, and your feelings are the signals. your mind and probably other people are telling you he is mr. wonderful- if it's the things that he does for you, that make you think you should be with him, it is not a true love. or maybe better said - it's a certain type of love.
you are young right? your life should be filled with joy and happiness! i believe that love should be passionate, unbridled, fun, uncontrollable, mad, crazy heart beating out of your chest when you see him, you FEEL it in your heart and bones!
it is the best feeling in the world.
you can choose to be with someone because they are "good" for you, they help you, they are stable and would make a good husband/father...but why can't you have both? there is someone out there who is these things, AND will feel right to you. there are so many fish in the sea! just believe that you will find him.
plus, it;'s true that there may be a much better match out there for him. and you are depriving him of finding HIS OWN true love. don't you want him to have the opportunity to be with the woman that is madly deeply crazy into him?
there are no rules that say you should love someone for this or that reason. you love who you love, and you can't force it. i would also say that you do have love for him- and from that love, that friendship love, you can come from your heart when you tell him how you feel. it doesn't have to be the end of the world. just be honest and say that you are not ready to be in a serious relationship. you don't have to say- "i'm just not that into you". be kind, and gentle. say that you need to love yourself, and you realize that you are just not ready to go any further. you need time to work on yourself. simple, and it's true, because we all need to grow and become more self secure. the old addage is true- you can't truly love someone else, until you truly love yourself.
good luck! be brave. you are a kind compassionate soul- so just be that! don't feel guilty. guilt doesn't come from love.
*peace
also- be honest with your family and tell them how you truly feel. i'm sure they will support you in finding the right one for you. they should want for you the best thing- which is your happiness and joy.
2006-06-12 08:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by zentrinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just break up w/him
he needs 2 know that u r not interested in dating him at the moment. if he really loves u he won't hate u. tell him to have some hope, cause maybe u 2 will get back together some day.
2006-06-11 19:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by sport_babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce him to someone that would appreciate him and his family. Fix him up with someone who likes his same music or needs his services (can he fix things or create?). Hang in there until you see that you will be able to part as friends by making sure he is alright without you, after all you know he is not the one for you - right?
2006-06-11 19:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Kay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont listen to what anyone else tells you about what you should do. It is not up to the yahoo comunity. I think that you should do what you feel you should. If you really dont see this relationship going anywhere, then its probably over. Do what you think would be best for him and you. But sometimes you have to put others before yourself and think how it will effect them first.....
2006-06-11 19:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by efraevo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Just tell him that right now you are not interested in a serious relationship, and you have realized that. Tell him that you really would like to see other guys, that you are not ready for a serious relationship.
2006-06-11 19:50:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's going to hurt him more in the long run if you stay together. If you don't share the same feelings then what's the point? Just be honest with him.
2006-06-11 19:51:45 · answer #8 · answered by dazedandconfuse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to break up anyway? but just be real with him and tell him how you feel . So he can really find some that would return his feeling and treat him the way he wants to be loved.
2006-06-11 20:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by marie c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing to do is break it off with him if this is how you feel. The longer you wait the harder it will be and the more pain so sooner is better.
2006-06-11 19:49:36 · answer #10 · answered by lady_to_know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋